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So, I just read through the other comments and responses so I'll give you some more feeback based off that new knowledge. I wouldn't say you lack imagery. I can clearly see Raiden hopeless and distraught in the stormy parking lot. The problem is, we don't know why he's there. There just seems to be a little bit of context missing, you know? Maybe y... Read More

Submitted on Fri, April 13th, 2018 6:33pm

I' going to be honest, I'm not sure what's going on here. I understand that Raiden is sad and dying alone, but what does the ending mean? Rain is usually attributed with sadness so maybe even though Raiden died in the light of the sun he could still feel the depression he had when in the rain. That's my only guess. I can see that you used great det... Read More

Submitted on Fri, April 13th, 2018 6:16pm

Alright I'm getting a little frustrated that I can't tab using my iPad. I don't have a computer that connects to the internet so I'm reduced to mobile stuff. I can't format this properly without a tab key/button. I copy pasted this from a Pages document and the formatting is still messed up. Please bear with me until I can find a way to add all the... Read More

Submitted on Fri, April 13th, 2018 5:42pm

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