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You're good with the descriptions, no doubt about that. As one of the other reviewers commented I'd also like to point out that it may be worth mentioning the names following a dialogue exchange to make it more clear who is speaking. The paragraph structure is somewhat inconsistent, particularly the first one. I'd advise breaking it down acco... Read More

Submitted on Tue, February 9th, 2016 2:12am

by Sayer

''For Hunter, chess was a place of relaxation. A place where he could clear his head and not worry about his dad.'' I think me and Hunter can find common ground on that one. This was a very light-hearted intro until that intruder came, I wouldn't wish that predicament upon my worst enemy. Good job Sayer.

Submitted on Tue, February 9th, 2016 1:59am

A chilling prologue. It really did give off some eerie vibes. It's clear that you're a seasoned writer. The descriptions so vivid that the reader's eyes and Kiana's become one. A very underrated piece of work that is undoubtedly worthy of more recognition! It's often very difficult to make an 'escape' chapter so gripping and detailed yet you did a... Read More

Submitted on Tue, February 9th, 2016 1:23am

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