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Here are the editorial comments for this chapter: Commercial? Maybe. But so much information has been skipped from Chapter 1 that it feels more like a proposal for a graphic novel. Before we get Nathan running through the woods we need to hear about his rehab - release from the hospital - feelings toward his family - how changes manifest themsel... Read More

Submitted on Tue, February 26th, 2019 4:36pm

So - based on just the Prologue - here are my general editorial reactions: - Commercial? Maybe. Any book editor reading this would wonder how the story will differ from the hundreds of other "origin" stories we are acquainted with. - Coherent? Yes. Thank you for using carriage returns to break up the text. - Dialogue. Good - not great. It ... Read More

Submitted on Mon, February 25th, 2019 8:06pm

Here are the editorial notes for this: 1) Some good lines - I'm particularly impressed when someone can dig up a quote from Mark Twain; 2) You appear to be much more comfortable in the narrative passages than reporting dialogue; 3) and the dialogue does need work - frequently stilted - and doesn't really sound like two people talking; 4) for Chapte... Read More

Submitted on Sat, August 4th, 2018 6:18pm

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