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Hmmm... I think you really need to slow this down. It's a good start; however, I think you really rushed it and you need to take everything slower and really explain things and get into some of those nitty-gritty details that make stories. Don't just from one thing to another; let the story flow. x) Other than that, it's pretty good. :)

Submitted on Thu, December 27th, 2012 7:39am

You had commented on my prologue about this and I'm sorry it's taken so long to read/comment, but: WOW. Please please please keep my updated. You are incredibly talented!

Submitted on Sat, December 8th, 2012 3:00am

Hi there! :) You had read the prologue to my novel "Fleeting" and asked if I'd comment so here it is: Prepare for more comments because I'm not putting this one down! :) This is awesome and so realistic and mysterious and I love it. :*

Submitted on Sat, December 8th, 2012 2:57am

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