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Hi! Just returning your request for a read here. These are my specific impressions, then the overall thoughts: I got stuck on "a thousands trains," The comma is making me read it as "a train sets off a thousand trains" and the "of thoughts..." gets a bit lost. An angry giant showering off his wrath is a strange image, especially when compa... Read More

Submitted on Thu, January 22nd, 2015 4:23am

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Hello! I thought this was a really creative way to introduce Charon. He really doesn't get as much love as he should! I like the note on which you ended this chapter. You tied in all the introduced elements into a few cohesive sentences. It leaves you feeling like you know a little bit about Charon, but there are so many more questions about wha... Read More

Submitted on Tue, March 12th, 2013 11:46am

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Alright, without reading comments to induce, bias, here is my review of the first chapter, since you sent a request to my page: Given that the date is bolded, I'm not sure why the beginnings of the following sentence need to be. Maybe it's just for looks. You used three adjectives describing the grass: thick, lush, soft. You really only nee... Read More

Submitted on Thu, January 31st, 2013 8:52am

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