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Very cute story, and easy to read. I saw one commenters opinion about the story being somewhat confusing. On the contrary I appreciated the curiosity it instilled. It's easy to lose interest in a story that's too predictable. Yours is charming the way it is written, imo.

Submitted on Fri, August 23rd, 2019 3:51pm

I like the story so far, but the grammar needs a bit of work. I'm no expert by any means, but there are a lot of run on sentences that can easily be split into different sentences. It's a tad hard to read as written. I feel as though you may have a future in writing, just clean it up. Then take the world by storm.

Submitted on Thu, August 1st, 2019 9:24pm

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