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What's cool about this poem is that it captures the feel of an internal struggle while keeping the details vague. The reader is never sure what exactly the narrator is struggling with, which can make it more relatable.

Submitted on Sat, June 13th, 2015 8:34am

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You set up the story perfectly in this first chapter! It had the right amount of backstory that made the close even more heart wrenching. The pacing is also excellent. Good work!

Submitted on Thu, June 11th, 2015 5:32am

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The pacing of this first chapter is perfect! It doesn't dwell on anything for too long and moves along at an exciting rate. I'll be reading more of this. Well done!

Submitted on Wed, June 10th, 2015 5:10am

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Booksie 2019 First Chapter Novel Contest

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