Book by: Adaza

Chapter 1: Noosed Heart

Reads: 696
Comments: 11

Noosed Heart </3

After 16 years of being overshadowed by her older, yet less successful sister, Chasen is finally ready to emerge from her sister's shadow during her junior year. After years of straight A's and perfect behavior, she finally see's her chance when Gemma's grades and attitude slip below acceptable, only to find herself cast to the background when her sister attempts suicide by car crash.

Now, she's even more overshadowed, gaining attention only for questions about her sister. With her two best friends, who hate each other, begin to drift away, Chasen finds herself, a usually loud, outgoing girl, being pushed towards the quiet cover of the darkness. The only light in her life is the senior heart throb, Levi Hayden.

After a brief encounter with him at the hospital where he's working as a janitor for some extra money, Chasen can't seem to escape his mind. She's see him everywhere around school now and can't help but smile.

With her sister's recovery going downhill and her family alienating her even more, Chasen starts to dread every morning that she has to wake up, but her thoughts of suicide die the second she thinks about them. Unfortunately, not as much can be said for her sister.

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CHARACTER PICTURES!!!

Chasen Calson (16)

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The youngest sister of the Calson girls. Very sweet and usually loud, tries her hardest to stay out of trouble and get good grades. She feels bad about her parents having to deal so much with her older sister, but realizes that some things are just out of her control. Her talents include guitar and chello. She's on the top band for her school and frequently gets the best solos. She's very cautious with her heart, but is willing to make a new friend. She refuses to believe what other people say about her or anyone else, but she's quick to join into gossip when it's present.

Gemma Calson (18)

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As the oldest sister, she's ready to get freedom from her parents and head out into the world. Though she's very naive about things, it's her way or the highway. She's oblivious about how her actions affect the rest of her family and friends. Though she can be a sweet herat and the perfect older sister sometimes, her mean side comes out to play more than it's hidden. Rumor's flock from her mouth whenever she finds the need to knock someone down. She gets around school, but never lets any boy go all the way. Strongly disliked by many boys and girls, they claim she's the queen bitch but not hot enough to pull it off. Frustrated by the lack of atttention by her peers and upset about her home situation, Gemma resorts to self harm and eventually a suicide attempt to escape her problems.

Levi Hayden (17 but about to turn 18)

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To most girls, he's the senior hot throb, but he gets tired of the high shool fame and fortune. Captain of the football, hockey, and baseball teams, he knows he can get any girl in the school. Girls line up for just a chance to be with him, including Gemma who's been clinging to him like glue, but he ignores most. His job at the hospital is nothing more than job expierence and the chance to help those that are disabled. He's laid back and cool, but gets protective of those he cares about. His father, who is CEO of a rental truck business, hopes to gain his son's attention back and push him towards the career fo truck selling. He doesn't want this though, he doesn't want to stay in his suburb town for much longer. Levi promises that one day, he'll mvoe out to the city and buy a few acres to build a farm on. He wants to be under the stars where the city lights can't reach him. He loves nature, little kids, and being alone or with a few good friends. More than anything, he loves listening to music.

Cammie Ahill(16)

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Cammie is Chasen's best friend. They share everything together and would never leave each others sides. That is until Cammie begins to get frustrated with Chasen's mood once her sister will live. Cammie is always ready to party, and finds herself getting mixed up with the wrong kind of people. Her only anchor out of the life of parties and drugs is Chasen, but when Chasen's time splits to accomodate those that matter, Cammie beigns to feel left out. She's a total city girl, and doesn't plan to mover out of her parents house until she's married. The future scares her, so she prefers to live in the present where she can control everything.

Derek Miser

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As the bad boy of the grade. Derek is already a starting varisty player for football, though he's only a sophomore. He's tall and hot...beyond hot. But his mysterious behavior and refusal to talk about anything keeps him from having a relationship for more than a few weeks. All girls want him, though he's just a fling for them. They want a taste of the dark side of high school, the one with sex and parties. Most girls keep him as their dirty little secret, though Derek doesn't mind. He's Chasen's best friend and has been so since kindergarden. When she needs a shoulder to cry on, he's there. But the problem is that his relationship with Cammie screwed everything up, forcing Chasen to hang out with one at a time. Derek's home situation isn't much better as his father deliberately disobeys his mother's requests for him to stop gambling on horse races. Derek's younger brother, Christopher Jones (CJ), is only three and thus doesn't understand why he's frequently left with his big brother. Though Chasen swears they're just friends, everyone else believes there's something more. Well is there?

Autumn Scuvy

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Gemma's best friend. Don't know why i put her picture in here,i just thought she looked pretty.

ANYWAYS: i might add more characters but we'll see.

And I want everyone to comment on this and tell me what i'm doing right or wrong, but respect what the characters do because a lot of this stuff is based off of my life. No, my sister hasn't committed suicide and she won't. But I'm the younger sister who is always overshadowed by anything my big sister does. She's a D student while i'm an A student, she fights with my parents all the time while i don't say much, everyone always tells her how pretty she is while i'm left out.

Also, some of the other character's situations are similiar to those of my friends.

So really this is just a way for me to get out all of the feelings i have towards my family. But in no way do i wish that my sister would die or anything, i love her to death and i wouldn't trade her for a different sister. i mean come on...SHE BROUGHT ME HOT CHOCOLATE IN FIRST HOUR TODAY...how could i hate her?

And now i'm not dating the senior heart throb..wish i was. haha

ANYWAYS PLEASE LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK. THE FIRST CHAPTER WILL BE UP BEFORE THE END OF THE WEEK! I PROMISE!!!

(oh and for those who read my profile...MY SHOULDER HEALED!! YAY. i'm still not supposed to write but i do anyways. i'm such a rebel!!!! hehe)

Submitted: April 10, 2012

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Comments

Charli Elyse

Tue, April 10th, 2012 11:12am

Author
Reply

haha thanks love!!!! well i would totally **** justin beiber so it's chill :)

Tue, April 10th, 2012 4:31am

Meggie1495

OHH i love this, would you keep me updated for the first chapter plz!? thank! :D

Tue, April 10th, 2012 2:18pm

Author
Reply

for sure!!! :)

Tue, April 10th, 2012 1:00pm

blackNblue101

i love the pics:) nice personalities

Tue, April 10th, 2012 5:55pm

Author
Reply

thanks!

Tue, April 10th, 2012 12:59pm

Charli Elyse

Dude. Da fauq. It deleted my comment.

Wed, April 11th, 2012 12:28am

MyEditorFriend

I read chapter 2 before this one so I would like to comment further on the summary or back story. The summary should be used to get us to read your story over the others competing for our limited attention.

When a back story is presented at the beginning, it often will kill off further reading because its boring. It I wanted to be bored I'd read a Chemistry textbook. I want to be entertained. A brilliant way to present the back story is to present a nugget of info here and another there until all of the back story is revealed. This may be contained in your compelling opening, the protagonist is grieving, but in her own lifeless way, as is the family as they bury their oldest daughter. The further despairing and emotionally numbing sense of her draws us into her plight, because you have us caring for her.

Try it out and when you succeed, you will be further along as a commercially successful author.

Sat, April 14th, 2012 7:48pm

Author
Reply

noted, thanks for the suggestions!!! :)

Sat, April 14th, 2012 2:20pm

onlyinred

Hey! Interesting characters! I'm the oldest in my family and I do see where you're coming from! In my family we all strive for amazing top notch grades, but my mom doesn't really recognize it so much. She's just like 'eh, good job' But like, Gemma, if everyone thinks she's perfect, then she must be under pressure to commit suicide! That's crazy! But Awesome job, I really liked how you explained the story and then showed us the character pictures with an explanation of their personalities and lives! Going on to the first chapter!

Mon, April 23rd, 2012 12:11am

Author
Reply

thanks!

Sun, April 22nd, 2012 5:31pm

RubyRose81196

Gosh, your such a r- HOLY CRAP! Umm... right. OK, cool. Bush turkey sitting on fence outside window. Totally normal situation. Well there you go... umm... right. Just because I named a scrub turkey Lennard! He totally suits the name. You just look at him and you're like 'OMG, it must be called Lennard!' OK, so when it was a cute little fluffy ugly baby it adopted our back yard and we can't seem to get rid of it. I think it's trying to replace my dog, who disolved into nothingness... hahaha...

anyway, as I was saying -ebel!

I'm the younger sister, but I don't really get overshadowed. Guess I'm just naturally lucky. Though it usually is "which is the one who went to France" just because she went on exchange, but meh. just, ya know, cash spilling out my life story to randoms on the internet. Cool one Ruby, cool.
Oh, and cello is spelt without and 'h'.

And you want me to tell you what you're doing right and wrong, eh?

*loud shouting voice*
YOU ARE DOING THE WHOLE THING ENTIRELY WRONG! IT'S A CRAPY STORYLINE AND YOU'RE TAKING ENTIRELY THE WRONG APROACH! YOU'RE GOING TO TRY AND I CAN TELL JUST BY READING THIS THAT YOU'RE GOING TO JUST FALL FLAT ON YOUR FACE BY THE 3RD CHAPTER. THE BEST ADVICE I CAN GIVE YOU IS TO GIVE UP NOW!

nah, I'm kidding, sounds good! KMU!

Wed, April 25th, 2012 12:35am

Author
Reply

you're lucky you don't get overshadowed!! haha wow, you talk a lot. i can't even imagine what you're like in person. :)

Tue, April 24th, 2012 6:24pm

RubyRose81196

OH right, chapter two... cool one...

Wed, April 25th, 2012 12:36am

RubyRose81196

And yeah... I was totally just talking to myself... I'm just too cool like that...

Wed, April 25th, 2012 12:37am

Author
Reply

fer sure!!!!

Tue, April 24th, 2012 6:20pm

RavenStars

Hellooooooo Derek Miser! Haha .... I love your character pictures.. they are great! Anyways off to read your story. This has really caught my attention :)

Mon, May 7th, 2012 11:17am

Author
Reply

Thanks! Ik, I want derek!!!!!!

Mon, May 7th, 2012 4:26am