When I was younger, my mom said that it’s okay to be different. She said that it gave me spice and made people want to get to know me. I’ve been told numerous times that I’m too charming, but what can I say; I know how people work. Not that I’m complaining though, my undeniable good looks and spot on personality do manage to get me free drinks whenever I go out. A personal favourite of mine “Hey, Is there a mirror in your pants...? I think I can see myself in them”. Works. Every. Single. Time.
Despite everything though, there was one person that all this didn’t seem to work on. Having spent 5 years of school with Bella, you would have thought that she would have at least had a conversation that lasted more than 5 minutes with me. But nope, she seemed to be the only one that was immune to my charms. Whenever I sat next to her in a lesson it was silent. Which I must say, is very unusual for me. You can’t stop my mouth from running most of the time; it’s like a continuous shit storm exploding from my mouth. But Bella was a hard nut to crack. I’d tried so many different ways to get her to be friends with me. I’d invited her places and she’d just decline my offer politely. The fact that she was so nice all of the time is probably what made me start to fall for her. She’s the complete opposite of me, I can be nice when I want but most of the time you should expect a sarcastic answer. The good thing is that people don’t take it to heart and just laugh it off. The bad thing about that though is that an insult doesn’t really have the same effect. For an awkward example; I told my teacher that his trousers were so tight that you could see his boxer line after he asked for my homework that I didn’t have. I told him that it was very unflattering but he just laughed and said he’d wear looser trousers just for me tomorrow. I have no clue why that didn’t get me a detention or for the homework, he just kept mocking himself all lesson. The prick didn’t even lose his smile.
I’d tried to charm my way into Bella’s life, I’d done everything to get her attention but none of it seemed to be working. I’d try to talk to her in lessons, pair up with her in gym, even going as far as 'falling' over near her and grabbing onto her for 'support', I refused to let go until she agreed to speak to me. One day when we were in gym class, she seemed to have enough of my constant pestering to hang out though. I just really wanted to get to know her, I really like her. I don’t really see what the problem was, she laughed along with my flirtatious joking all of the time. We were friends to me but she didn’t want to hang out with me without other people around. I remember what she said to me that day. It changed everything. It’s not her fault though, it was me who lied.
She burst like a freaking damn that day. She screamed at me telling me that she didn’t want to date me so I should stop asking. I must admit, I was shocked for a few moments. I hadn’t directly asked her out on a date. I just asked her if she wanted to hang out, I don’t see the harm in that. It’s not like I was going to introduce her to my friend Chloroform. I’m joking guys, don’t kill me. But either way, it still stung. My intention was to become close friends with her, and then it wouldn’t be as awkward in the first stages of our relationship. But now, thanks to my little lie I don’t think I’ll ever be getting that relationship. I’ve accomplished the first steps; I’m closer to her than anyone else in the world. She knows everything about me and me her. Except one thing. I lied to her and it wrecked everything even though she doesn’t know it. I know, I’m a dick. You don’t need to tell me. The worst thing you can do is lie to your best friend but at the time it was necessary. I would have lost her otherwise.
You see, I told my best friend I’m gay.
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Book / Humor
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