Created by Justine Challis & Andre A. Molina
Story by Andre A. Molina
Written by Andre A. Molina
Weeks had gone by. The Days were darker than ever. After the return of Captain Shitbag things went downhill for the cities of the world (not to mention the president). Douche Dude had beaten him. But as soon as he escaped, Captain Shitbag had quickly taken over the white house (because we all know they can't do shit!). People had no more fears of being eaten alive by human eating living toilets, or being turned into mutant nuts (ok…). It was a natural way of death these days. There was also no more car sickness (that feeling you get when you monthly car payment is due).
The world was in turmoil. It had split in gangs and groups with different (weird) goals (which I'll only repeat once because you might lose your lunch). The Shitsy Gangsters were one of the biggest gangs formed. They wanted everyone to eat their shit instead of putting them in bags (that's just not right).
Then came the Pink Panties. This was a group of women that for no apparent reason decided to go on a rampage making men wear (soft) panties. These women wanted a world filled with panty-wearing men (not gonna happen).
There was also the Cableman men. They were secretly not planning a non-existant plan to not defeat the captain and not bring peace to the world (gee, I hope they can do it). But the worst evil was Lord Peanut butter and his mutant nuts. He had returned and now was fighting for the ruler of the world. No one was a friend. And war was everywhere
"Hahaha!" yelled The Captain, "It is complete!"
The Captain had created a lazer machine that turned dead people into living farting zombies (that's gonna smell). Soon Armies of farting zombies arised. And Douche Dude, the Justice Shits, and the Cableman men had joined to make their own army. The Shitsy gangsters and the mutant nuts were ready to fight. The Pink Panties were ready to throw their panties (I'm sorry, but I have to say I'd like to see this happen). "Now we will see who is greater!" declared Douche Dude. He knew that it was up to him and his allies to defeat the Farting Armies.
The first part of the last part of the war began one morning. Douche Dude and the Douchebag army met with the Pink Panties. A very long (oh), hot (oh yeah), strong (oh yeah baby!), and wet (oh god yes!) with sweat from battle battle occurred. Many panties were thrown. But in the end, the pink panties joined the Douche Bags. The first part of the last part of the war was won.
The second part of the last part of the war began lunch time (today we're having chicken). Lord Dipshit Peanutbutter and The Shitsy Gangsters were ready to fight the Douche Bags. A very big (oh), long (oh please yes), hot (oh god yes!), and destructive fight occurred and a lot of shit was eaten and nuts were crushed. The second part of the last part of the war was won.
The last part of the last part of the war began in the afternoon. The Zombies, the turds, and the evil human eating toilets were way too large and strong for the Douche Bags. But Douche Dude knew what had to be done. This would be his last chance to finish the Captain and bring peace to the world. The fight began. The turds were flushed, the toilets were electrocuted by the Cableman men, and the zombies farted on Octopussy. Douche Girl was in a locked epic battle between two toilets, Octopussy was fighting a zombie, a turd, and a toilet. Mute boy was fighting a turd that couldn't talk (Please stop reading if you feel your breakfast coming back). Then during the battle, Douche Dude met Captain Shitbag. The final fight started.
Douche Dude was hit by a bag of shit. Shitbag knocked down by a douche punch. Then Captain Shitbag poked him with a giant stick which happened to be lying on the ground. "Oh no!" yelled our hero, " How did you know my weakness?" "The end is near!" said The Captain, "Now the world will see the end of Douche Dude!" Suddenly Douche Dude had an idea. He used his Douche Lazor and before anyone could say "mamawannapieceapizza" , The captain was destroyed, the zombies were beaten, the toilets flushed their last flush (until I had to use the restroom), the turds were eaten (unwillingly), and the war had been won. But there would be no tomorrow for our hero.
Douche Dude lay on the rocks with a stick through his ass. His quest was complete. He closed his eyes and went to Doucheland (where all the little douche fairies fly).
But Don't worry, He'll be back again. When the world needs A Douche to save the day.
Thanks Douche Dude, The last part of the last part of this story is over.
© Copyright 2016 Andre Molina. All rights reserved.
Book / Humor
Miscellaneous / Other
Book / Poetry
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