Shitty Adventures of Douche Dude (The SADD Saga)

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

Chapter 7 (v.1) - Episode VI; Return Of The Douche

Submitted: September 10, 2010

Reads: 170

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Submitted: September 10, 2010



Created by Justine Challis & Andre A. Molina
Story by Andre A. Molina
Written by Andre A. Molina

Once upon a time there was a hero called Douche Dude who saved the world from Captain Shitbag, Lord Dipshit Peanut Butter, and Master Nudist (has anyone else notice how stupid these stories have gotten?). Douche Dude had defeated these villains. But at the cost of losing his powers (wait, the douche isn’t dead!?). Those who saw him that day saw him transform back into Bob Douche who had no recollection of the events that had transpired before. He left the battle field as Bob Douche. For the next two years he worked as a mailman. Until one day (oh when the saints) a terrible earthquake erupted in the city and troops (go marching in!) were called to help establish order. (Oh when the saints go marching in! Oh-)

what are you doing? (Singing) Why? (I thought we’d make this episode a musical).
You know the last 5 episodes you’ve been giving me constipation (you know that’s something someone would say if they made a remake to this story). That’s true and you’d probably say “Yay, constipation!” (like this? Yay constipation!) Yeah like that, now lets continue we just wasted a quarter of this episode and now the person whose reading this is falling asleep. (sorry).
Okay reader, we will now be skimming through so listen closely. Guy loses power, Guy magically gains power by taking the biggest dump of his life. Guy becomes Douche Dude again. Earthquake reveals a giant monster living underground that looks like Jelly but smells like pee, which we’ve called {Looks like jelly, Smells like pee} monster.

“Now that I have my douche powers,” said Douche Dude in a Douche tone, “I will now use my douche lazer!”

(Ok, you can ask now about the douche lazer. You see when Douche Dude bends over he grabs his head and uses all his strength to push out an explosion of douche that comes out of his “douche trunk”. It then turns into a ball of light and blows up in his enemy’s face giving them a face full of…) Anyway so the Douche lazer hit {Looks like jelly, Smells like pee} monster. (Yay constipation!) Not funny. (It is kinda funny…) Douche Dude had no choice but to use the one strong technique he never used, the Douche Of Fire! (Say it like they say the ‘ring of fire’ in that Nemo movie).

He yelled out to {Looks like jelly, Smells like pee} monster.
“Take this you jelly looking, pee smelling monster!”
“Arghhh!” the monster said.
And with that a dramatic explosion happened. Douche and jelly was everywhere. But Douche Dude had returned. He flew off into the night happy to have saved the city once more.

Thanks Douche Dude! We can always count on you to leave us covered in shit and jelly!!!

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