Memoirs of A Forgotten:

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Chapter 4 (v.1) - Entry 4: Of Shields and Promises.

Submitted: April 11, 2007

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Submitted: April 11, 2007



Memoirs of a forgotten

Entry 4: Of Shields and Promises

He was there again Journal, this being that mocks me with a shield not even I can puncture without his guard being lax.

He never lets down his guard though! Its infuriating that out of all of that crowd this... This man... This living breathing man...Appears two-dimensional to me.

I cannot grasp upon his emotions! Only the faces and tones he uses in speech. I know not the next movements of his hands whether they will be balled in anger or open in friendship! If I was not what I am, this would not only infuriate me with curiosity but also make me step back with wonder and a tad bit of fear; have humans truly evolved that much already that they rival us? Nonsense!

The most infuriating part is he seems not to realize he's doing it. He knows nothing of the vampiric, nothing about vampires save for the legends. Good gracious! He even had to have a shield explained to him. I laughed as one of my vampiric friends sat him down and said since he felt familiar she'd answer his questions and explain that shields are the mental barriers one puts around one's mind to protect it from others. It was plainly obvious to all though that she just wanted to get into his pants as the saying goes.

I never truly understood that saying though I understand the second meaning. I understand sharing clothes and the sexual connotations of the phrase but being in another's pants while they are wearing them seems ridiculous to me...

She was the sort of vampiric who drew their energy in the throws of passion when the energy would be at its richest and the tender sensuality gives over a robust and fulfilling feed. Not at all an unpleasant way to sate the ache and thirst, but... It's been over done and the minute you say the words vampire or vampiric to one who is unknowing, images of the sex-idols the modern age has portrayed comes to their minds. I shake my head at this because for all the bellyaching about throwing off the stigmas that myth and legend have placed on them and by association me, some of them waltz right into the stereotype's confines and willingly run their tins upon the bars.

To his credit he didn't fall for it and simply addressing her with a small smirk launched into a philosophical debate with her over whether or not the barrier. He even used air quotations. Whether or not the barrier was two ways, on one hand being something someone puts up themselves to protect themselves and on the other being the person poking their nose in believing a multitude of various things about the person they're taking from. Like, he reasoned, say that the taker believing they were more powerful of mind than the other, the barrier would seem resistant but easy to give way. Where as the taker believing that they were weaker of mind, or that they subconsciously shouldn't know about the victim, would find it extremely difficult or neigh impossible to do so.

For someone who had to get the concept of shields explained to him, he sure was able to grasp quite a bit very quickly and twist it against her. It made me wonder.... Going on his interpretation, if there was something subconsciously that was making even me, a vampire; have difficulties reaching into his mind.

I laugh at this and remember the arts I learned from my true Lord. I could block myself from the gaze of his kind while I was mortal simply because he had taught me to believe with my whole being that their gaze held no power over me. If my belief faltered even for a brief second, I was enthralled to their will. Could this human have learned that simple truth without realizing truly he had? Or was he just born cold, his emotions and thoughts giving off no heat unless he willed them too.

This mortal intrigues me and I resolve to watch him within the confines of my sentence. The council did not so much as sentence me, but made it clear I was not to leave the city or the country without their knowledge and my reasons stated else wise I will be killed... Since I don't want to lead them to this mortal I'll stay within their boundary of me. I do not want them to kill him for his knowledge without truly knowing, simply because had made my acquaintance and my curiosity gives him value to them of being something they could exploit against me. No... I will keep my own council, save for here of my eagerness to know what is behind that shield.

It thrills me to no end that even changed the council or their varied associates seem to fear me or think me a threat. I laugh in the dark chambers of my room as the sun creeps over head. I chuckle at their incapacity to see what I know and what my true lord taught me, with their own eyes and essence. I roar with mirth believing them to be stuck in their evolution, confined as I am to our bodies; the capabilities of that body in life, immortalized, frozen in evolution and becoming all that one is capable of in a Vampire's life.

With a smile, a purpose and a plan for tomorrow, I will rest your weary pages Journal and lay down my pen.

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