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So by now about a month has past its September 28th. Me and Tia enrolled in school and have been going, some days. Most days were just like any other smoking and drinking. Today was Friday, obviously the best day of the week. We were at lunch, stoned off our asses chilling with Adam and his biker gang. You know none of them had girlfriends, at least not at school. I wonder if that’s why Adam never made it official. Anyway we’re were there hanging out, I was sitting on Rex’s bike, eating a sandwich I got from school, usually gross but being stoned you’ll eat anything. They were all talking and they brought up a party tonight; it was the city over and I guess a bunch of people were supposed to show up. Adam looked right at Tia, because she kind of has a big mouth and told her to not to tell anybody because it was for older people and not for high schoolers.

“Okay, fine but then why are your lame asses invited, I wanna go.” Tia said looking from Rex to Adam.

Rex answered her while giving Adam a sinful look, “Okay, you and your little friend can come.” Referring to me.

“No, Tommi’s not going.” Adam practically yelled it.

Obviously not knowing why he said that I shot him a dirty look, “I don’t wanna go anyway, I rather smoke weed by myself at my house then go somewhere I’m not wanted.”

“No, really fuck Adam, I want you guys there.” Rex said, looking charming for once in his life.

“Great it’s settled, we’re going and we’re gunna take my mom’s car, k Tom?” Tia looked at me with big eyes like it would give me the guilt trip; but it always worked. Plus I spent my money for the week already so I had no way of getting some until next week, I mean I did but I really didn’t wanna hook up with Drooly David again.

“Fine, I’ll see you guys tonight then.” I said standing up and giving Adam a nasty look. Why didn’t he want me there? Was he embarrassed of me? Did he have an older woman at the party? We weren’t technically together, I’ve seen him kiss other girls it didn’t bother me. Why was he being so weird? On the bus ride home he tried to talk to me but I ignored him, all the way home. I got off the bus and went to my house. Fridays Aunt Shannon had off so I knew I’d have to ask her if I could go to this party, but I knew since I went to school almost every day this week I had a pretty good chance. I asked her and I was right she said yes, but then again that was because I told her it was in town, and Tia’s mom was dropping us off and picking us up. Aunt Shannon doesn’t like Tia’s parents because they remind her of my birth ones, but she doesn’t wanna hurt Tia’s feelings so she always caves in.

Tia came over around seven to get ready, she told my aunt that she walked here and her mom was coming later when we were ready. I knew tonight was the perfect place to wear the outfit I stole from the mall. I had on my black dress that barley covered my butt, and had a deep dip in the back pretty much my whole back showed. I wore those tall red high heels and did my hair super curly, I looked at least three years older with my hair curled; and of course a super sexy smokey eye. I was the shit at makeup. Tia wore a royal blue mini skirt and a white, tight crop top with white high heels. She kept her hair straight and did her makeup blue. We looked so hot- so over 18. We yelled “I love you” to my parents and ran out the back door, if they seen me dressed like that they would never let me, or Tia leave the house. Tia parked her moms Honda down the road, a small green two door Honda, but at our age we were cool to even be driving. Tia had me text Rex and ask him the address, it took him twenty minutes to even reply. Finally he did, and we went on our way. I had two bowls left and we smoked them before we walked in. when we went inside it was mostly all men, all grown men. They looked at us a whistled, yelled, whatever they were doing it was obvious they were already drunk. Me and Tia, we took that as a compliment. They offered us drinks after drinks after drinks until I could see straight. Finally I bump into Adam, he tried to make me leave he pulled me and yelled at me. I was so pissed at him from what he said at school I didn’t even listen to him. I wish I did though…

About two hours into the party I was looking for the bathroom for the sixth time, and I found some room. I walked into it and it was a bunch of old biker dudes smoking, but it wasn’t weed. It was meth. As drunk as I was I knew I didn’t want to be around that. I turned and went to leave when one of them shut the door in front of me, he told me in his grizzly, deep voice that I wasn’t going anywhere. I tried to push them away, I really did but it didn’t work. Before I knew it they were picking me up and putting me on the bed. I screamed and screamed but nobody heard me. I yelled for Tia, Adam, even Rex. Nobody came. They raped me. Four big buff old biker dudes raped me, and I couldn’t do anything to stop them. I’m kind of glad I was as drunk as I was otherwise I would remember it way more clear. All I remember is lying there on the bed, blood everywhere not sure if it was mine or not and Tia crying trying to get me up. She was yelling something I can’t remember, she sounded scared, Tia was brave, and right now she sounded more scared than I was the day I saw my sister dead on the floor.

I woke up the next day, around noon in my bed at home; Tia was awake starring at me. As soon as I woke up she was all over me crying. “Are you okay?” I asked her if my parents had seen us come in and she said no, I remember crying nonstop and eventually I asked Tia to leave. She kept apologizing to me, it wasn’t her fault though. We knew our buddy system and we both didn’t stick to it. I had texts from Adam reading, “I’m so sorry Tom, I love you.” I hadn’t heard or seen that in I very long time. I just cried some more. I cried all weekend, I took at least ten showers that day. No matter what I did I couldn’t get their smell off of me, the feeling of it not being my body. I hated myself. I told my parents I couldn’t go to school that week, they almost made me go but I broke down and told Aunt Shannon what happened to me, she tried to make me go to the police; but I lied to her and told her I didn’t remember anything at all and if I did I would tell her. She let my stay out of school for as long as I wanted, she was picking up my homework of course. I ended up staying out of school for a month. I seen Tia every weekend she came over and spent it with me, she snuck in some weed and we smoked. By the time I went back to school it was almost Halloween, it was October 29th. I was scared to go back but I knew I had to. I knew everybody was going to be in costume, and I wanted to be too. I didn’t want to look like I’d been raped. I wanted to look like my normal self, and I did. 

Submitted: September 01, 2015

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