The Accidental Mate 2- THE FORBIDDEN MATE

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Chapter 15 (v.1) - 13:

Submitted: October 30, 2010

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Submitted: October 30, 2010

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Chapter 13: Good-bye

"When you look back on times we had, I hope you smile...

Whenever you remember times gone by, Remember how we held our heads so high...

Whenever you remember, I’ll be there...

When you think back on all we’ve done, I hope you’re proud...

When you look back and see how far we’ve come, It was our time to shine...

Whenever you remember times gone by, Remember how we held our heads so high...  

Whenever you remember, I’ll be there...

Remember how we reached that dream together...

Whenever you remember..." -Carrie Underwood; 'Whenever you remember'

Isa-

I wake up as I feel the familiar bumps of the driveway. I can't hide my cocky smile when I still hear the radio blasting one of the most annoyings songs I've ever

heard. I glance at my father from the corner of my eye to see him gritting his teeth as if it were physically killing him to hear this song. I want to laugh and scream

'Paybacks a bitch!' at the top of my lungs, but some how I hold it back. But my happiness is abruptly ruined when I see Tony and Owen walking up cover in oil and

grease from working on a car.

"Where's my brother?" I ask.

"Which one?"

"The only blood relation that cares for me of course- Dj. Who did you think I was speaking of?"

"Listen Isabel, You're attitude will disappear-"

"Oh! Like you did when I woke up scared and confused? What will you do, daddy? Will you send me back? I dare you to try." I growl. As if he heard my calling Dj

steps out of the forest in shorts and nothing else, I jump out of the car and run to him.

He spots me and meets me half way. When I collide with him I wrap my arms around his neck and he pulls me tight against himself. "I've missed you so much,

Isa!" He whispers.

"Me too," Is all I can get out.

I hear Tony and Owen approaching. I automatically feel the rumble of my chest and so does Dj, "Don't, Play it nice and you'll get more freedom faster. pretend your

'healed', Pretend you're considering Tony as a potential mate. You'll get your freedom that much sooner." He whispered logically. I turn and force a believable smile.

"Hey, guys," I see Owen's head snap up in surprise. "I missed you guys too, but since you didn't write me I thought Dj deserved the first hug." I couldn't help but

throw in the little dig.

We all go into the house and I pretend every things perfect. Like the last 7 months hadn't happened. And with the medication mom had no doubt put in my food from

my 'doctor' it was quite easy.
Every one was there papa and ma- daddy's parents- and Maw- momma's mother. Me and papa were always close and I liked how he didn't treat me any different. I

also liked how he kept throwing glares at my daddy, when ever I pushed my food around my plate. I hadn't had this much food in 6 months.

After dinner I climb the stairs  to my room and I immediately go to my window needing to get out of the house. I pull and push desperately- I realize I've traded one

prison for another- my window is now plastered shut, so it can't open- well, it can, but they'd know I left.

I drop my forehead to the glass and let my sobs free, just as I was going to let my knees drop Papa's there holding me gently and pulling me into his warm

comforting embrace. My sobs grow louder and less controlled. Papa's hand stroke my hair lovingly, murmuring quietly.

"It's okay, baby girl, you've been through so much, you just cry. I won't let you go back to that place, I promise." I sob again and clutch my arms tighter around his

neck.

"You're okay, You're with me now. You're safe." He whispered rocking me back and forth. When I hear someone else come in I look up through blurry eyes to see Dj. He stood there unsure of intruding on me and Papa's moment.

But Papa eases that as he whispers "Come here, boy." For the first time in my life I look up to see Papa crying, and so is Dj as he comes over to hold me too.

When I wake up Dj is in my bed with me and I curl closer needing some kind of assurance I wasn't alone. "It's okay, Isa." Dj murmured but I start crying anyway.

Because even though my brothers voice is comforting- it's not the one I'm craving to hear ease my fears. His hands weren't the ones I wanted comfortingly stroking

my back and shoulders.

After I convince my brother I'm really okay and get him to go to his own bed. I find my diary taped to my new hiding spot under my desk. I pull it down and go to sit on

my bed to flip through it. Stopping at the last diary entry I'd written before being sent to that hell they called Halo.

Dear Tristan,

I used to think  Love was just a word, but I found a meaning of it when I got to know you.

Now I know how much it can really hurt, if you aren't careful. To love someone with everything you are- it's like every breath I breathe is for you.Why did no one tell me

it could hurt like this?

It is hard to understand what my family is saying- that the love I feel for you is nothing but an illusion, a sickness, a disease. Could it be possible that my love for you

is only that?  

It's hard to think that my family could ever understand. That they don't seem to care about how I feel.

It's so hard to keep everything bottled up inside- to pretend everything is perfectly fine the way they want me too... All I really want is to just hide from their calculating

and judging stares.

Sometimes it gets hard to breathe. I'm feeling so alone- now more then ever. All alone...as if I'm falling away... Slipping from grace.

I wish that you could be right here beside Me. Taking me in your arms and holding me tight... but that doesn't matter does it? Because wishing only works in fairy

tales. This is too painful, to have a happy ending- so it has to be reality.

I know nothing will change for me. I have to try to move on and be strong without you. I have to ignore what I am feeling for you. But it's hard to see that the love I felt

there should mean absolutely nothing here. My family acts as if it was nothing but a dream I've had.

It's hard to know that all I've ever wanted has disappeared so quickly and right before my very eyes. I'm wondering if you're some kind of evil Magician... My loving

family couldn't care any less about what I think.

They expect me to keep my feelings locked up inside at all times. They wish me to think of you as a monster, but I can't seem to push the memories of us being

together away- even if I'd wanted to. Which I don't. Those memories are all I have left of you. Of me when I was whole.

It gets so hard to breathe... Sometimes I think you are my breath. But that thought only leaves me feeling more alone. So achingly alone...

I never knew that life could be so painful, or pitiful. How do they expect me to just pretend that nothing was there? Because these tears keep on falling and no

matter what I do, nothing can really wipe them away... I can still feel them- the dampness of my cheeks that never seems to dry.

It's impossible to believe that the love I feel for you is only a sickness of my mind. I refuse to believe that.

Forever yours,

Isabel

Reading the passage makes me cry, but I know what I have to do. Tristan's words come back in full force; 'If things were different... I would spend the rest of my life

happily by your side. Making you happy. In a fair world- I would give you everything you wanted. Anything you asked for... but I can't.'  He'd confessed,'Never doubt my

feelings for you. I love you, Isabel. Only you.'

I Let the final tears slip down my cheeks, as I remembered his promise to me,  'I will go on as I had before I fell in love with you. But I won't forget.'  I closed my eyes

and wrote my promise to him in my diary, My hand shook as I did, but I knew it was the only way to get through it. I knew he'd want me to be happy. So I wrote.

It'd been so long since I'd written in my 'diary'... and my first letter was going to be a good-bye. A good-bye to what could have been... Would have been... Should

have been.


Tristan,

I'm going to start out by telling you how much I love you. How much I miss you, and how badly I want what can never be. I'm going to start out by promising the same

thing you've promised... No matter how much this hurts I know it must be done.

I'm writing this because I need closure, a clean break. And that's exactly how this feels. Like I've broken a limb and I'm refusing to mend it. If this was a broken bone

I would go to the hospital and they would fix it quite easily, I'd have pain medication most likely. Right now I'm acting as if I've broken a bone and I'm pouring

Rubbing alcohol on it It may keep it clean- but the pain will always be there.
I'm giving up on the rubbing alcohol- meaning I'm giving up on waiting for another miracle to come by. Papa said everybody gets one miracle- if they're lucky. Turns out...I was a lucky one... You were my miracle. And that's it for my miracles, but believe me it was so worth it. Even the pain- the numbness. I would fall in love with

you all over again- even knowing the pain I feel now.

So here is my promise to the both of us, It's quite simple and fair- you gave me the same promise the day you drove away- I promise to go on as I have before I fell

in love with you- but as you promised- I swear to never forget. I swear to always remember every day of my life. To remember your voice, your touch. The way you

taste. The way you loved me... The way I will always love you. I will remember the soft kisses, the playful brushes of your hands and lips against my skin. I will

remember your sweet voice whispering words of love and comfort and praise.

I will remember you were my first. My first for everything. The first male I shared a bed with. The first I'd touched so intimately. The first I gave my body to. The first

-and only- one I gave my heart to. I will remember you as my Romeo- my forbidden mate.

I promise to love you everyday of my life, but I must keep the first promise as well, the one promise that will never fully take the pain away- it will always there, I don't

think I'll ever really heal properly- But it will help... distract me from it now and then- Our promises... they will have to take the place as my pain killers. Until- if- I find

something stronger.

All my love forever,

Isabel

I finished writing my name and wiped the tears from my cheeks. I had a half hour calm down and begin to make good on my promises to Tristan. I would go on as I

did before I fell in love with him- but I'd never forget.

I closed my diary and taped it back to the bottom of my desk. After I was sure it was secure I walked to my sealed window and looked out at the snow that was on

the ground. With a sigh I turned around and made my way to the shower hoping to start my old life back up as if I hadn't fallen in love with Tristan.

***

After my shower I changed into my favorite cloth shorts and a too-big-hoodie that I'd stolen from my brother a long time ago. As I went through my drawers I found

the T-shirt I'd worn of Tristan's when he'd brought me home. I thought seriously about putting it on, but instead I took it out and folded it to fit perfectly in my pillow

case.

I bounced down the stairs- where of course only momma and dad were up. Dad was sitting in his spot as usual sipping his coffee and had breakfast in front of

him. I waked over, I didn't miss how momma and dad glanced at me nervously. I decided I would make amends- but I wasn't ready to forgive. Not yet.

"Momma, Daddy..."

My momma turned around and daddy put the coffee mug down. "I don't want to fight anymore. I just want to for get this whole thing happened- all of it."

I saw momma let out a deep breath she'd been holding she came to me and wrapped me up in her arms. My dad sat there, unsure of himself. After momma was

done hugging me, I took a step closer to dad and plucked a piece of bacon off his plate- like I always had... before. I watched my dad's eyes soften immediately.

Then he smiled, "Good morning, Isa."

"Good morning, Daddy," I said back and leaned in to kiss his cheek. Daddy caught me in his arms and I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"I'm so sorry, Isa. Never- I'll never let you go again."

"I know, daddy." I couldn't say I forgave him- because I couldn't, not yet- but I knew he was truly sorry.

I sat on his knee and took a drink of his coffee. As Momma put more food on the plate and before I knew it my brother's were filling their plates. I caught Dj's eyes

and nodded. He smiled, or tried to. I think he was still mad and so was I. But we had to try to get over it, I had to try to keep my promise to Tristan.


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