I get out a cotton cloth and put it aside, along with a bottle of alcohol. No, its not what youthink. I'm not an alcoholic. Don't jump to conclusions.
I get the cotton cloth and part it in two. I open the bottle of alcohol and place the tap away from the bottle. I lay the cotton cloth on top of the opening of the bottle and turn the bottle upside down. Alcohol seeps through the cotton and thats when I stop. I look at the cut on my arm and sigh. Its deep but not that deep like the others.
I breath slowly and shut my eyes. I've gotten used to the pain but I still get nervous about the stinging feeling I'm about to feel. Quickly I put the cloth on the cut and start rubbing. I clench my eyes shut and hiss in pain.
I sigh in relief and walk out of my room and throw the cotton in the trash. I come back and sit down criss cross applesauce. Without realizing that I hit the bottle when I sat down every single drop of alcohol poured into my cut.
Tears fell rapidly and ran down my cheeks. I sobbed and curled myself into a miserable ball. Miserable thats what I am. Thats what you call me but you take it back as soon as you cause me pain. You don't want to lose me I know that. And for knowing that and letting myself slip into someone else's arms I end up with the worst consequences ever. I've convinced myself that I really do love you and that its just a phase of what I'm going through.
Me cheating on you, but for the better. Every time I'm with him I'm healed, but when I'm with you my wounds open once again. You don't know I prefer him than you. You start thinking I'm with someone else other than you, but I lie and you bellieve me but at the same time you don't.
I let you take advantage of me and I let myself drift off with you when you force me. I can't defend myself. Helpless as always. My name is Brianna and I am forced to love my boyfriend David. I loathe him, but if he finds out one of us or the people I love will end up dead.
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