Chapter Prologue : Prologue

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Science Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

Reads: 21947
Comments: 13

The Rapture

When hundreds of people vanished on the same week, Matthias Cole, a former military aviator, was called over by the National Space Administration regarding the issue. But not only did he find himself in an interstellar enigma, but also in the hands of an atrocious monarch in whom lies the inevitable doom of mankind.

*~*~*

 

Prologue

 

Nightfall superseded the eminent skyline of the vanishing mid-autumn daylight. Armadas of stars emerged from beneath the horizon of the Earth with the ballad of robins in close pursuit. The moon hung in the stellar heavens, vastly exposed and crowned conqueror of the nocturnal hour with dominant radiance. Its glorious presence lured various wildlife in yearned fellowship while for some others as an urgent deadline—for dread of hostile carnivores—to withdraw back to their individual dwellings.

In the midst of the swiftness of this perplexing yet seemingly monotonous cycle of nature’s assembly, a sole figure sat on the edge of a bridge suspended over a stampede of water. She resembled a finch on the lofty branch of a willow bent over a creek. Never did she know of the peering eyes that lurk in the concealment of the thickets and bushes surrounding her in a wide radius, biding their time.

Unaware of the activities around her, she pressed her palms on the mould of a floor and absently swung her legs back and forth. The bridge—or the “Little Rainbow” as she used to label it for—was now her only abode. Throughout the seasons, the marble bridge had always remained intact. Indirectly, it had become hers. From the times she attained the experienced to walk with her deceased father; to the venue where she excitedly skipped to every afternoon from school. It was, indeed, her little rainbow, from which she would still believe it would hold precious jars of gold. And, for her, it was true. It was the place where she would dejectedly sit and let the river inhale her cascading tears in delicate ripples. Where the sparrows would euphoniously greet her at daybreak and where the trees would console her with unspoken words unbeknownst to anyone but her.

Her auburn hair was uneven and smudged with dirt, her pale face more prominent. Her clothes clung to her abused form, threadbare and not feasible enough to be worn by even those who had the slightest of food. The reflection on the face of the river was the core to her attention, regardless of the tender visibility the moonlight offered. She stared unwaveringly down, her face the absolute expression of morose. Her eyes which used to glisten like precious sapphire, like lucent pools of water, or like the clearest blue the sky has ever shown, were dim with affliction. In her weary vision, she perceived a vulnerable and most finite juvenile, her hair veiling her sunken visage. She gazed deep into her own bloodshot, calamitous eyes. In them, she saw her contemptuous step-mother and her ceaseless rage; her snobbish, egoistical cogency and her prone to maniacal, drunken demeanor.

The youth lifted her head, the heavenly hosts biding her mournful farewell. The trees and crickets lulled a yonder adieu. A melancholy smile reached her lips; her departure anon. With less than a mere push, she plummeted towards her demise.

 



Submitted: March 01, 2016

© Copyright 2020 BigBang. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

Keke Serene

Powerful imagery

This so excellently written! Your imagery is like, amazing! You do a great job with it. Your vocabulary is also quite diverse, (though the first sentence kinda too me for a whirl becuse of the word supersedes- it a word I've never heard before and I got kind of, braintied(?) reading eminent after wards! Just try saying it out loud! It's a brain twister hah!) But yeah, you have serious talent!
Thiught the description of the moon, was quite eloquent. Or should I say grandiloquent. Just like, all of your imagery was great! Very much impressed as usuuuuallly I have to prod people about using more imagery, especially concerning world placing, ugh. But you do a great job in such a great way...!!! :D
Nice use of metaphor btw, comparing the girl to a sparrow on a willow! I thought that was quite original :)
Kinda creepy that someone or sonething is watching her though? Another person? Maybe...?
The backstory of the "Little Rainbow" is very nicely weaken into the story. The personification of the river as sonething that "inhales her tears," is a brilliant line! :D
The poor girl is poor and starving and hungry (wait, that's the same thing!), just like me, gwarh, I'm always hungry, not starving but hungry. I wonder if she's an orphan since her father is dead or something...?
A little confused at this point as to how far this bridge is up? It just be pretty short as far as stature if she can see the reflection of her eyes. (You do a great job describing her eyes btw, the contrast as well.) Oh, okay, so her mom is abusive and terrible. What an awful thing for moms to be. I really can't understand that since they literally gave birth to that living breathing thing!! Its pretty much procreation save for the inkling of DNA that the male contributes..so how can you hurt someone that's so very much you....? But I guess not all moms are perfect or have a nurturing nature. To think such is a 50s sentiment. :)
Her suicide seems very like, tranquil but yet and still it is still a tragedy. I wish we got to know her better... :(
Well, that's the prologue, or what I think about it:! Interested to see where this is going, seeing as how it might involve space and space travel? Not a huge fan of intergalactic/time travel novels, but we'll have to see :)

Tue, March 1st, 2016 1:27pm

Author
Reply

Hi starsthatfellonrandumgirlatnite! Thank you so much for your comment. It means a lot :) well actually I look up for uncommon words with the help of my thesaurus because English is not my mother language lol haha ;) but thank you for reading all of it! Well the bridge is not that much high from the river surface :) just that the moon's quite bright to enable her to see her face. There will be more explanations to the prologue in the next chapters! Thank you very very much for reading :) I appreciate it. ~BB

Tue, March 1st, 2016 5:35am

ShadaStorm120

Wow, oh how I missed your writing. You have no idea how much I loved this. You know what’s funny. As I was reading this, I was thinking, starsthatfellonrandumgirlatnite would absolutely love this writing. I know how much she loves imagery and descriptions. Then I scrolled down and saw her comment. Haha, yes, I knew she’d love it, and I do too. Your descriptions are outstanding as they usually are. Actually, I think they are even better than what I remember. They are soo good and they just add to your writing and your style. Way more people should be reading this because it is so awesome and I love your writing so much. I have found absolutely no flaws in your writing. I didn’t even see any spelling mistakes or anything, so great job. I would love to see where this story is going, but that ending… wow. Anyway, wonderful job. Pllleeeeaaassseee keep me updated :D

Mon, March 21st, 2016 7:23pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much, shada! :) Sorry I kind of missed on your comment hahaha :) Well, my writing is actually very very full of flaws, but thank you so much for your compliments :) It means so much to me. Thank you for taking your time to read this, shada :) and I sure will kyu.

Fri, May 13th, 2016 1:57am

ShadowLight120

Incredible, I could picture everything from the girl, to her surroundings. This is one of the most descriptive stories I have ever read, it kept me interested all throughout. You really used the imagery to your advantage, describing how beautiful her eyes once were, but then how different they are now. I loved this piece of writing, it was amazing. You really are a talented writer.

Mon, May 2nd, 2016 9:44pm

Author
Reply

Thank you! :) Thank you so much for reading it. Well I'm planning to continue the story but currently found a big writer's block in the middle of the plot so the story's still going nowhere until I find a solution :) But thank you for reading! :) ~BB

Mon, May 2nd, 2016 4:24pm

sslade

The amount of detail you give is extraordinary. It was so easy to imagine myself in the story without any issues. Also, it flows very smoothly. You have great grammar and it was not too much information to absorb. Overall, I think it was very well written. I cannot wait to see how the story unravels!

Tue, May 24th, 2016 5:15pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much for reading, sslade :) ~BB

Tue, May 24th, 2016 5:57pm

Amy R. Beckett

Very atmospheric - there's a wonderful poetry in your descriptions. I will be reading on...

Tue, May 31st, 2016 5:20pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much for reading, Amy. ~BB

Tue, May 31st, 2016 6:01pm

melex1997

Big fan???

Tue, May 31st, 2016 5:20pm

Author
Reply

I'm not quite sure what you mean by that, but thanks for reading, melex1997 :) ~BB

Tue, May 31st, 2016 6:02pm

Jerilaw

Speechless, I Have Not seen so much use words before and using it perfectly nailed it , loved it and would be keeping an eye out for it

Tue, May 31st, 2016 7:38pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much for reading, Jerilaw :) ~BB

Tue, May 31st, 2016 6:04pm

BrieBlakmyre

Wow, off to a powerful start! I think you establish the setting well, and I totally get that eerie, unsettling vibe that works for all scifi books. My only major advice would be to be careful with use of big vocab. It's clear that you have an expansive vocabulary which is awesome! However, it can bog the reader down during the more intense scenes. Overall, I really enjoyed it!

Wed, June 1st, 2016 3:39pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much! :) Yeah I think I'd have to reduce those uncommon words for the following chapters. You're a great help! Thank you so much for taking your time to read, BrieBlakmyre :)

~BB

Wed, June 1st, 2016 4:35pm

melex1997

It came out wrong sorry I meant I am a big fan great plot

Wed, June 1st, 2016 9:48pm

Author
Reply

No worries :) Thank you so much for your kind words, melex1997 :)

~BB

Wed, June 1st, 2016 4:42pm

B Douglas Slack

An incredible piece of writing, BB. The verbal imagery was spot on, giving me full view of the scene as set by you. The wording was, perhaps, a bit flowery for my tastes but within my comfort zone. One felt an abject sorrow for the young girl, knowing beforehand what her fate would be. Definitely a page-turner.

~Tom

Sun, June 5th, 2016 3:16pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much for reading, Tom :) I hope you will enjoy the following chapters.

~BB

Sun, June 5th, 2016 8:18am

marissajesserai

Wow, I'm very shocked by your vocabulary! This was written very beautifully, very elegantly. Just flawless! I'm wanting to have a bigger vocabulary myself, did you take classes?

Mon, June 6th, 2016 4:49am

Author
Reply

Thank you so much for your kind words, Marissa! :) Actually, there are so many flaws it pains me to read it haha :D Well, just English classes at school and weeks of re-editing :) Once again, thank you so much for reading, Marissa! I appreciate it :)

~BB

Sun, June 5th, 2016 10:14pm

Rose Burg

I loved the connection you've established between the girl and nature, it was created through a surplus of beautiful, and certainly well-written, imagery. For a prologue this was very succinct which was nice, and it gave a good idea of the eloquence of the piece to come. Loved it :) - Rose xx

Tue, June 7th, 2016 3:12pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much for reading, Rose :) It means a lot to me. I hope you will enjoy the following chapters :)

~BB

Tue, June 7th, 2016 8:13am

LeParadisNoirPoetique

BigBang there is no way you are ordinary. You are quite extraordinary. I have to agree with all of the comments here. Now it's Dexter's turn, so don't fear. Your vocabulary is magnificent, and some of the words you use you don't hear anymore. This is such a delight to read with an open door.
Such stunning imagery that may be better than mine. I'm the imagery king, but if yours is better, that is fine. It's so pleasing that this is in third person, because I picture her surroundings, and it's so visual. You are brilliant, and not unusual.
I picture her surroundings with nature, and the descriptions of the moon, and to the lands around her are such a written dream. I could melt in it and eat ice cream.
When I begin my new career, I want to take young writers under my wing so I can help them achieve anything. You are one of them, because success will be like wearing a ring. I'm glad your not an enemy because you would be a thorn. A star has been born :)

Fri, June 10th, 2016 5:33pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much for reading, Mr Draven :) I appreciate it a lot. My vocabulary's not that great, though haha, but thank you so much for your kind words. They mean a lot to me :D Once again thank you so much, and I wish you the best of luck in your new career!

~BB

Fri, June 10th, 2016 5:59pm

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