But I Wasn't Scared

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

Every man wants to think he is strong and brave. But when you come up against one of these...

But I wasn't Scared!




Let me tell you a little story, about a man named Bob,
just your average everyday working class slob.
Who lived out in the desert with his son and his wife,
surrounded by nature, now this was the life.

And in this land where the animals play,
there would come many visitors, every day.
Coyotes and rabbits, squirrels and hawks,
creepies and crawlies, out from under their rocks.

Now occasionally, as life would have it,
something would end up in the house for a visit.
I believe in live and let live, and what's mine is yours,
But my house is for us, and they belong outdoors.

So one day with family gathered around,
one very scary looking creature we found,
wandering around on the living room floor,
must have come in through a left open door.

Big and dark and hairy was he,
with eight legs and fangs and eight eyes to see.
A tarantula, across the floor he did scurry,
and the people around him sure got up in a hurry.

Now my brother and I sat and watched him come in,
and he looked over at me, and said with a grin,
"Go ahead, pick him up, you know he won't bite."
And everyone got quiet, would I do it? I might.

Now, I wasn't really scared, just cautious, you know,
but I wasn't really sure how well this would go.
So I got up with a groan, and bent down to say "Hi!
My name is Bob, how you doin, big guy?"

I put out my hand, a meet and greet, as it were,
and up my arm he did run, eight legs just a blur.
And onto my neck, right tight to my ear,
as if some spidery secret I needed to hear.

And I still wasn't scared, oh no, not a chance,
I just had this sudden urge to learn a new dance.
The spider jig, where you jump and you spin,
and you scream like a girl, let the fun begin!

Of course the dance was an instant hit,
I could tell by the way they all laughed at it,
But the spider wasn't thrilled as I channeled Astaire,
he just held on for dear life, all eight legs in my hair.

They say all good things must come to an end,
And I was ready to say goodbye to my spidery friend.
Somehow my feet had led me outside,
the tarantula happily along for the ride.

Into my trembling hand he did go,
back onto the ground, a little dizzy from the show.
And I turned to my family, and took a deep bow,
Said, "Well that was fun, so what do we do now?"





 


Submitted: January 05, 2012

© Copyright 2022 bobthebuilder. All rights reserved.

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Comments

dibbledabble

Great way to tell your spidery tale, So descriptive and amusing. You had me laughing. Love the Astaire dance bit.

Very funny and well written

Dibs

Thu, January 5th, 2012 8:25am

Author
Reply

Thanks, Dibs. I had to work to make this tale into a poem. I'm really glad it made you laugh.

Thu, January 5th, 2012 5:02pm

attanasio

This is pure gold Bob! Your story makes me feel like I was there watching. Most of my family would have passed out and missed the whole thing! Fun stuff!

Thu, January 5th, 2012 12:02pm

Author
Reply

It really was funny the way that stupid spider caught me by surprise like that. I've handled them since with no problems. Really glad you liked it. Thanks!

Thu, January 5th, 2012 5:08pm

Mike Stevens

Bob I would have handled it much differently than you; I would have started screaming like a little girl when I first saw the spider; for some reason, I HATE spiders. In fact, I started screaming like a little girl just reading this wonderful poem! It was so well-written, I forgot I wasn't actually there; excellent!

Thu, January 5th, 2012 2:45pm

Author
Reply

Thanks, Mike, for the generous comment. Thank goodness I have never really paid for my foolishness other than with a little pride.

Thu, January 5th, 2012 5:22pm

TwoStepz

You screamed?! At least you admitted it! Putting in a brave face can be so hard-.-!
Haha! This made me smile like mad!
Well done mate!x

Thu, January 5th, 2012 7:57pm

Author
Reply

My memory is a little fuzzy. Did I say screamed? It really was quite unexpected, crazy a** spider anyway. I'm glad you gave me the opportunity to exercise my writing skills and tell this tale in a new way.

Thu, January 5th, 2012 5:18pm

KarolynRisk

Hahaha that was funny. I can just picture a man with his family running around because of a Spider. Lol nice!! Kmu

Thu, January 5th, 2012 8:32pm

Author
Reply

A tarantula is the king of spiders, this one was about 4 inches across. You can't imagine how creepy it felt on my neck. I kinda freaked a little. Ok, a lot. Thank goodness they rarely bite. So glad you came by!

Thu, January 5th, 2012 5:12pm

Brian W

I do not know about anyoner else but I read/sang this to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies it seemed to match perfectly...Well written and very funny

Fri, January 6th, 2012 4:24am

Author
Reply

That's too funny! That was my idea at the start, but then I gave up trying to fit it to the song. But the first two lines for sure.

Fri, January 6th, 2012 5:43am

divyansh

a very funny tale of yours and you very well presented it in a rhyme.....the dance part was the best....though i smiled and laughed through the whole poem but that dance bit gave me a real laugh.............
thanks for sharing

Fri, January 6th, 2012 8:26am

Author
Reply

Thanks for coming by! It was pretty cool to be able to put this out there and have people enjoy it.

Fri, January 6th, 2012 5:41am

brucek

that was so funny! i would have done the same thing, trust me. i'm getting shivers all the way over here in iowa. yikes!

Fri, January 6th, 2012 10:07pm

Author
Reply

Yeah, I still get the chills thinking about it. Glad you came by to check it out. Thanks!

Fri, January 6th, 2012 5:45pm

haunt sorrow

An awesome peom. I wish I was their to see it in person. It was funny. Totally love it.

Sat, January 7th, 2012 7:03am

Author
Reply

It was not one of my finer moments. I'm glad you came by and read a couple, it means a lot to me. Thank you.

Sat, January 7th, 2012 7:47am

individualstar

haha, great poem! :D I'm glad I saw it :)

PS I'm terrified of spiders, so glad I don't live near you :P

Sun, January 8th, 2012 3:28pm

Author
Reply

So glad you liked it! It really happened. Thanks for coming by!

Sun, January 8th, 2012 8:39am

writersbug

Very funny, you can sure use the poetic form to get your point across, and make a humorous anecdote.

Tue, January 10th, 2012 9:26pm

Author
Reply

Thanks for coming by! You should have seen it in person!

Tue, January 10th, 2012 6:47pm

Lee Edward Neale

Ha ha hilarious. My healthy respect for large spiders just got healthier. Good one!

Wed, January 11th, 2012 12:00pm

Author
Reply

Thank you! Looking forward to yours.

Wed, January 11th, 2012 5:25am

My Overactive Imagination

a grown man screamed (;
i laughed so much at this! i would have ran from the house screaming... so well done you for dancing instead (:

Fri, January 13th, 2012 9:31pm

Author
Reply

Hey, I said I wasn't scared! Just REALLY surprised. Yeah, that's it. Thanks, I'm glad you got a laugh out of it!

Fri, January 13th, 2012 10:33pm

californiadreamin

I love spiders, but the ones I encounter here are not nearly as imposing as those big guys. This poem is fantastic. Made me tingle all the way down my spine at the thought. Wonderful imagery. Thank you for this!

Mon, January 16th, 2012 12:38am

Author
Reply

Ah, the things you do when you are old and foolish! I say, never stop! Thanks so much for the read and the comment!

Sun, January 15th, 2012 7:40pm

Ian Dawn

Bob your a better man that I because I would have been doing the bash my head against the wall dance. As you know we have loads of spiders out here and they can all kill you so eight legs = bad.

Wed, January 18th, 2012 3:27am

Author
Reply

Tarantulas look really scary, but are pretty mellow, and their venom is not very potent. Killer spiders and Santa Jaws, what a combination! Lucky you!

Tue, January 17th, 2012 8:57pm

Wilbur

Don't care WHAT you do or did, you can't top that! And if you are able to channel Astaire, c'mon'a my house and do me a dance! I'm old enough to've never gotten over my crush on that slim elegance. It made a great rhyme for a great poem. Congratulations, wonderful word pictures you drew - felt and saw it all.
Very best regards, Wilbur

Wed, January 18th, 2012 8:24pm

Author
Reply

You should have been there. It takes a lot to get me rattled, but that sure did it. I'm glad you liked it, I had to work at it to put it into a rhyming poem. Thanks a lot!

Wed, January 18th, 2012 5:14pm

haters are not welcome to chat with me

GAH!!!! the picture scares me but it was a good poem and i enjoyed reading it :P keep up the good work *clicks the like button* by the way are you scared of spiders? i am they freak me out Megan has loads of them living with her in her house O_O

Sat, January 21st, 2012 6:04pm

Author
Reply

Thanks for coming by. I'm so glad you seem to be having a good day with your friends. I'm not scared of spiders, but I don't normally go around picking them up. We had tarantulas as pets when we were kids, as well as snakes, lizards and anything else we could catch. Yes, I am a little weird.

Sat, January 21st, 2012 12:47pm

Rhia2910

This was truly HILARIOUS!! I enjoyed and laughed every single second of it! XD I am terrified of spiders myself, and after reading this, it seems you took it pretty well hahah. Glad I got to see this!

--Rhia:-)

Sat, January 21st, 2012 6:27pm

Author
Reply

I really appreciate you taking the time to read and leave a comment! Yeah, I'm not always the brightest bulb in the box.

Sat, January 21st, 2012 12:48pm

the dead poet

I seeeeeee it the dance. Hahhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahaahhahaha seem you use a good story and funny as well, it's kinda like a prose poem.... Nice to read a prose poem done well on booksie.

Sat, January 21st, 2012 6:29pm

Author
Reply

I really appreciate the comment, I worked hard to get this to be a rhyming poem, tried to make it fun to read. Thanks so much!

Sat, January 21st, 2012 12:50pm

Rosiejb

haha, love this i hate spiders so much i can watch any type of horror movie without so much as a shudder but i see a spider i would scream the house down.
This is so a well written poem on the best i have read very good job.

Sat, January 21st, 2012 7:25pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much for the generous comment! I hope the story made you laugh. Have a great weekend!

Sat, January 21st, 2012 12:56pm

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