The Night Before Halloween

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

I originally wrote this in high school, back in 1976 or so. Thought it was really clever back then, not so much now, but thought you might still get a kick out of it. Enjoy.

Twas the night before Halloween, and all through the house,

not a creature was stirring, except a dead mouse.

The children where hung by the chimney with care,

in hopes that Count Dracula soon would be there.

 

The mummies were wrapped up all snug in their beds,

while visions of torture chambers danced in their heads.

And mama in her coffin that I closed with a snap,

we had just settled in for an eternal nap.

 

When out in the graveyard there arose such a clatter,

I awoke from the dead to see what was the matter.

Turned into a bat, and flew like a flash,

tore through the cobwebs, the slime and the ash.

 

The moon in its glory gave light to the show,

the apparition manifest o'er the tombstones below.

When what to my bloodshot eyes should appear,

but a coffin on rails, pulled by demons in fear.

 

With a decrepit old driver, so fiendish and sick,

I knew in a moment, it was my nemesis, Ick.

As rapid as lightning, these demons they came,

and he cursed and cajoled and he moaned out their names.

 

And they cried and they wailed and they spat as they flew,

pulling a coffin of death, and old Ick, too.

With a screech and a thud they arrived on the roof,

I could hear the scraping of each cloven hoof.

 

I drew my sword and stood my ground,

down the chimney he came, and looked all around.

His cape was all covered in blood and in gore,

with long claws and teeth, he was ready for more.

 

A bundle of weapons he had flung on his back,

and he gave me the chills as he opened his pack.

His eyes, how they glowed, his scars, how disgusting,

they gaped open and weeping, with maggots and crusting.

 

His fangs glistened whitely, so sharp and so long,

and he drooled as he stared, he looked so very strong.

Then he smiled as he saw the victims arrayed,

on the mantle and hearth, hands tied and feet splayed.

 

He went right to work, in a flurry of death,

and he stole all their lives, to the last gasping breath.

Then he bade me farewell, told me this night I would live,

thanks to the hapless souls I did give.

 

Up the chimney he rose, like smoke he did go,

with the newly damned souls of his victims in tow.

He sprang into his coffin, issued demands,

and off they then flew, to far away lands.

 

But I heard him exhale, as they flew into the night,

Happy Halloween to all,

and to all a good fright!

 

 

 

 


Submitted: October 30, 2011

© Copyright 2022 bobthebuilder. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

attanasio

Your poem was clever in 1976, and it holds true the test of time. Very nice and of course as always.... timing is everything. Thanks for posting.

Sun, October 30th, 2011 8:30pm

Author
Reply

Thanks for reading and especially for the comment. I typed the thing into the box, read it off an old notebook. Cut and paste won't work over the ether!

Sun, October 30th, 2011 5:12pm

Cyber Dood

Great poem and timeless. Your style of writing is to be admired. More people should read this one.

Sat, November 26th, 2011 11:26pm

Author
Reply

Thanks, glad you liked it. It ends up a little dark, especially because I spoofed it off a Christmas Carol. But, it was for Halloween, after all. Real nice of you to take the time to leave a comment!

Sat, November 26th, 2011 4:06pm

Brian W

I must remeber not to visit you on Halloween....You have talent many years ago as well...I enjoyed the read

Mon, November 28th, 2011 6:32am

Author
Reply

I really had fun with this, glad you liked it!

Mon, November 28th, 2011 7:49pm

Mike Stevens

You said you now thought of this as less-than-wonderful; For what my opinion is worth, and 'tisent much, you're way wrong; I thought this was extremely talented writing!

Fri, December 23rd, 2011 10:09pm

Author
Reply

Thank you, kind sir.

Fri, December 23rd, 2011 5:36pm

Wilbur

Oh good lord above. By the third line I was making garbled noises of choking laughing/snorting/tee-hee-hee-ing. And you complimented my fractures! Good heavens, man - I didn't know I was waddling along in the wake of a truly dab hand!
Thanks for pulling my coat and sending me over for a shudder and hoot. Happy Halloween indeed. You are so GOOD.
My very best compliments to you, sir. Regards, Wilbur

Tue, December 27th, 2011 4:02am

Author
Reply

I'm really glad you liked it. I really enjoy your style of fracturing fairy tales, and this seemed like something you would get a kick out of. Thanks for coming by!

Tue, December 27th, 2011 6:22pm

ita

It is still clever and unusual)

Thu, December 29th, 2011 6:24pm

Author
Reply

Thank you! It was fun to write.

Fri, December 30th, 2011 5:10am

siirdarkmaz

Wow! I am amazed. Never saw a poem so spooky! great job! I loved it

Sat, January 7th, 2012 7:55pm

Author
Reply

Yeah, the ending is a little darker than I like, but I was a lot younger when I wrote this, about your age, actually. And this was without all the horrible video games to inspire me. I'm really glad you liked it!

Sat, January 7th, 2012 2:08pm

JessCuzICan

clever haha i liked that.

Mon, January 9th, 2012 5:08am

Author
Reply

Thank you. I was probably close to your age when I wrote it.

Sun, January 8th, 2012 9:39pm

moonphish

horrific and terrific....ick...lol...love it

Mon, January 16th, 2012 3:03am

Author
Reply

Yeah, so not my usual style. I keep forgetting about this one. Thanks for the read and the comment!

Sun, January 15th, 2012 8:02pm

PrinceEdward

I love HALLOWEEN :D lol

Mon, January 16th, 2012 4:48am

Author
Reply

I bet it's a blast over there. I've been to some great Halloween parties. We did a few here with Fear Factor as the theme. Great fun. It's not a success if at least one person doesn't throw up! Thanks for taking the time!

Sun, January 15th, 2012 9:22pm

EmmaElizabethHall

Nicely done, twisted into a very dark, almost deranged fractured poem :)

Mon, January 23rd, 2012 1:52am

Author
Reply

Yeah, I put the screws to this one. So not my style any more. I put this together many years ago. I appreciate you taking the time to read and to comment.

Sun, January 22nd, 2012 8:46pm

rebeccapadington25

This was very spooky and descriptive. I loved the words that you used, also when I read this I actually thought of the narrative bits from the grinch because this is so well structured and professional. Thank you for writing this brilliant piece because it truly shows that you have lots of talent and potential.

Mon, January 30th, 2012 5:15pm

Author
Reply

Wow, thank you so much for the generous and encouraging comment. I'm really glad you liked it.

Mon, January 30th, 2012 7:57pm

TwoStepz

Reading this poem I would have loved to be your friend in high school! Your way of writing is so original, it's crazy, as well (as said) timeless!
I know Jealousy is a sin, but reading your work sets that one emotion off -.-!
Still, it had a darkness to it and that's pretty good to scare kids just before halloween ;P!x

Sat, February 4th, 2012 3:53pm

Author
Reply

Hey, great to hear from you! I actually was a pretty fun guy in high school, have some fond memories. Thanks for the generous comment!

Mon, February 6th, 2012 5:59pm

Ian Dawn

In 1976 this was a gem that sent the girls packing but now it is the insightful look back on the mind of the current Bob we all know and love and I say it again the level of fun and play in your work is undeniable because even when you describe the harrowing plight of fighting off a demon I saw the fun and the atmosphere because of the flow and musicality behind the words. This was and is awsome in any decade! thanks for letting me know it was here Bobby!

Thu, February 28th, 2013 4:40am

Author
Reply

I thought you might like this one. I'm so completely blown away by your generous comments. There will be no living with me now.

Thu, February 28th, 2013 6:08pm

Patri Poe

This was extremely clever and such a witty parody. I think it is just as brilliant today as it was when written. The rhyming is near perfect and the content is superbly creative. The fact that you wrote this in high school shows what a natural talent you have for writing. I loved it :)

Sat, April 13th, 2013 6:01am

Author
Reply

Thanks for reading! It was fun to write, although it is a little darker than what I write these days.

Sun, April 14th, 2013 11:49am

Angie Blake

I so loved this poem too! I love Halloween and you did such a great job with this poem!!! :)

Sat, August 31st, 2013 4:38pm

Author
Reply

Your visit has made my day! I'm curious if you tried to listen to the recording. I added it only yesterday. I've noticed that I am not able to play many of the ones I've seen on here. Thanks so much for the reads and the comments!

Sat, August 31st, 2013 12:43pm

Tragedienne

I LOVED this...

I somehow see a line ghouls simply gearing up to do the Monster Mash.

Again another brilliant piece of work. Kudos!

Mon, September 16th, 2013 6:24am

Author
Reply

Thanks so much! Halloween is coming, so I hope this is a good one for the season.

Mon, September 16th, 2013 12:38pm

Lisa Ayers

Hi Bob! This must have taken a lot of time to compose. You hit it right on time! You are talented. This was a lot of fun!

Fri, September 27th, 2013 7:28am

Author
Reply

Hey, great of you to come by! Thanks so much!

Fri, September 27th, 2013 3:52pm

masharocks

Nice one :) great job!

Sun, October 6th, 2013 8:49am

Author
Reply

Thanks for coming by! I really appreciate it!

Sun, October 6th, 2013 8:45am

AbstractKash

Wow! This is such a Great Poem :) I've never read a poem with a theme quite like yours. The rhyming of the poem is so FLAWLESS and I enjoyed reading it. Even more awesome since you mentioned you wrote it in 1976 xD Well written. I'd surely love to check more of your work~

Sun, October 6th, 2013 11:30am

Author
Reply

Thank you so much! It was fun to put together, though as a parody, maybe not completely original. But I'm really glad you liked it!

Sun, October 6th, 2013 8:49am

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