Reads: 483
Comments: 7

1 year ago...

My head burst out from under the cool ocean water. I ran my right hand through my wet, dark black hair and dipped underwater again.

I loved the ocean. The crisp air, the white sand, and the sparkling salty blue water. I backstroked out from the shore. I was number one on my high school's swimming team, the Dipping Dolphins. In my room, there were tons of medals and golden trophies on top of my book shelf and even some on my window sill.

My breath began to grow quicker. I've been swimming for an hour and a half and my arms and legs have grown weak. I stopped and just paused, my head over the water before heading back towards shore.

Suddenly, a burst of pain blossomed through my left arm. I screamed. Everyone at the shore turned to stare at me.

"Tori!" my mother yelled, her eyes widening at the pool of blood in the water...right around me.

I stared at my arm and screamed again. A great white shark had it's teeth sunken into me...and it seemed as if it was never going to let go until he'd taken my whole arm off.

"Help me!" I yelled, crying from fear and pain.

But it was too late. The shark had my arm and left me bleeding in horror.

I'll never swim in the ocean again.

Submitted: May 03, 2009

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Add Your Comments:



OMG!!! You had me scared for her. I thought maybe the shark wouldn't leave. Up date soon. I want to know what happens.

Sun, May 3rd, 2009 1:38pm


thanks! yeah, i was scared too even though i'm the one writing the story! lol, jk! :)

Sun, May 3rd, 2009 7:10am


Oh My God! No!
Sharks are one of my worst fears!! Poor Tori! I love this though. You've caught my attention, and I can't wait to read more!
I love how you've described Tori in the ocean. :)
Your very good, update me please. x)
xoxo, Gracie.

Sun, May 3rd, 2009 7:25pm


thank you sooo much! yeah, sharks are scary! i'll try to update later today. :)

Mon, May 4th, 2009 5:52am


Omigosh!! Shark bite! Ooh.. Please update, this was pretty cool!! =P =] =D XD

Sun, May 3rd, 2009 8:10pm


yay! i'm glad you like it! thank you! :)

Mon, May 4th, 2009 5:51am


Ouch! That really sucks :'( Poor Tori.
Let me know when you update :)

Tue, May 5th, 2009 1:10am


okay! thanks! really scuks. :O

Tue, May 5th, 2009 4:57am


I don't know whether to find this funny or scary. I loved it though, you had a great beginning. I hope you keep your character alive, armless... It would be cool to see what kind of enviroment you put her in.

Last thing, don't take my first sentence the wrong way. I live next to cold water and we don't have sharks in here... My biggest contact with a shark biting someones arm off is on the comics.

Anyway, I look forward to reading what you'll come up with. UPDATE!

Tue, May 5th, 2009 7:18pm


haha, thank you! don't worry tori is still alive. nah, it's okay. thanks again!

Sat, May 9th, 2009 6:18am


PD: In the story it says 1 year ago, but in the summary it says one... So... is she 14 or 16 now? I'm confused :S LOL

Tue, May 5th, 2009 7:20pm


oops, sorry about that. don't worry, i edited it! :)

Sat, May 9th, 2009 6:17am


OMG! I got really scared. Poor her! Update soon and tell me, kay? I can't wait to read more! Thanks! :)

Sat, May 9th, 2009 10:39am


thanks! yeah, it's scary! :O

Sat, May 9th, 2009 6:17am

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