The Weenie Fairy

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

a naughty story about the weenie fairy. not intended for younger or more sensitive viewers. And a special thank you to Teri Cross Chetwood for her help and encouragement when i was stuck. thanks!

Long ago, in a land far, far away, a girl in her teens is lying in her bed with her arms around her pillow.  She closes her eyes ... I saw that boy in the market again.  He has such beautiful eyes, and his shoulders are so strong and broad, and he was wearing those tight breeches ... and ... oh dear, oh dear, what is wrong with me?  I wish, I wish, I wish ...

She opens her eyes when she hears a tinkling, harp-like sound from the corner of her room.  A sparkling swirl is forming into a beautiful woman with shimmering, transparent wings.

GIRL:  Who are you?

FAIRY:  I'm the Weenie Fairy, dear.  I heard your wish, and I'm here to make it come true.

GIRL:  The Weenie Fairy?

FAIRY:  Yes.  Weren't you wishing for a weenie?

GIRL:  I ... I guess so.

FAIRY:  There's nothing wrong with wishing for a weenie.

GIRL:  Did you hear my whole wish?

FAIRY:  Yes, dear.

GIRL:  Oh my!

FAIRY:  I may not be able to find a weenie the size you were wishing for, but all weenies can be wonderful, if you believe in them.

GIRL:  Really?  I didn't know.  Small weenies too?

FAIRY:  Oh yes.  If you believe in them, and gently sprinkle them with love.

GIRL:  And then something wonderful will happen?

FAIRY:  Yes!  Something wonderful and magical!

GIRL:  Yes?  What happens?  You're going to tell me, aren't you?

FAIRY:  I CAN tell you, but wouldn't you want to be surprised on the special day when you have your first weenie?

GIRL:  I'd rather know right now.

FAIRY:  Well, alright dear.  You see, if you love your weenie, and believe in it, something wonderful happens!

GIRL:  Yes?

FAIRY:  It will magically grow!

GIRL:  It will grow!?  Even a really, really big one?

FAIRY:  (sigh)  Yes dear.

GIRL:  Mmmmmmm!

FAIRY:  Just remember, every weenie can grow for you, no matter the size.

GIRL:  Could I uh ... um ...

FAIRY:  Yes? 

GIRL:  Could I have more than one?

FAIRY:  Oh my, yes.  You can have many weenies in your life, if you want.  When you're through with one, you'd be surprised how soon another will come along ... you weren't talking about all at the same time, were you?

GIRL:  Um ...

FAIRY:  Look girl, I don't do those kinds of wishes!

GIRL:  Oh ... I'm sorry.

FAIRY:  That's perfectly fine dear, happens to me all the time.

GIRL:  Okay ... So, when will I get my weenie?

FAIRY:  Patience dear, patience.  Let me see what I can do.

Beautiful music starts to play as a cricket walks out from under the bed and begins to sing.

When you wish upon a weenie,

Makes no difference if it's teeny,

Any weenie you desire

Will grow for you!


Submitted: March 02, 2014

© Copyright 2022 brucek. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

Mike Stevens

Very funny, this!

Sun, March 2nd, 2014 8:40pm

Author
Reply

thanks mike!

Sun, March 2nd, 2014 1:14pm

B Douglas Slack

I love this. Had me chuckling almost immediately. I guess my mind works as strangely as your apparently does. Great work!

Mon, March 3rd, 2014 2:22pm

Author
Reply

now that's a scary thought. glad you liked it. did you sing along at the end?

Mon, March 3rd, 2014 7:20am

B Douglas Slack

Yes! As a matter of fact, I did. How did you know?

Mon, March 3rd, 2014 9:03pm

Author
Reply

just kinda flowed. i know i sang it.

Mon, March 3rd, 2014 7:10pm

Joseph Mark

That's a funny one!

Tue, March 4th, 2014 12:06am

Author
Reply

thank you. i thought so!

Mon, March 3rd, 2014 7:12pm

J J Citywall

Ha ha. Oh man. This was really fun!

Tue, March 4th, 2014 1:50am

Author
Reply

thank you so much!

Mon, March 3rd, 2014 7:13pm

Teri Cross Chetwood

I like it, Bruce. Very funny and cool.

Tue, March 4th, 2014 10:50pm

Author
Reply

thanks. you helped.

Tue, March 4th, 2014 7:05pm

Dennis1984

I like it. it's a very funny piece

Wed, March 5th, 2014 9:51pm

Author
Reply

why thank you sir!

Wed, March 5th, 2014 6:39pm

sherry1

Had me laughing so hard. Great way to start the day. Funny. :) Sherry

Thu, March 6th, 2014 4:31pm

Author
Reply

thank you! "when you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are!" come on, sing with me! if you want, we can sing the weenie song!

Thu, March 6th, 2014 7:17pm

Insane Membrane

Bruce ... What's a weenie ?

Sat, March 8th, 2014 10:40pm

Author
Reply

a tiny little hot dog that you eat with beans. or..... (use your imagination)

Sat, March 8th, 2014 7:17pm

Iskah E Shirah

Oh dear oh dear oh dear. You had me giggling from the start, and I'm in the middle of a class ;P

Tue, March 18th, 2014 3:33pm

Author
Reply

do you have a fairy you talk to in the middle of the night? or have all of your weenie dreams already come true? hope so. oh, and his heart and mind too.

Tue, March 18th, 2014 7:52pm

kyoshi

Clever. I liked it.

Thu, June 19th, 2014 6:01am

Author
Reply

i'm glad. i thought people might.

Thu, June 19th, 2014 8:13am

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