"Paid My Dues"

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

A dark poem about being bullied in middle/high school, but being able to become stronger from it all.

Remember I do,
Of the darkness that was my growing pains,
Never a cruel joke or a cruel act wasted,
At my expense for your amusement,
No shame, no soul, no care
Just a laugh,
A point of a finger,
Spit out words of hate,
Just to see me break and shatter like glass,
Try learning the lessons in class,
Just a blur from all the insults,
You and your posse of friends,
Inflected upon me,
Concentration impossible,
Overwhelmed with a sea of emotions,
So dark and painful.
 
Run home to an empty space,
A room that was mine,
But felt more like a cage,
Only sanctuary that was safe,
Still heard the whispers of everything,
Uncontrollable I couldn’t keep the pain inside,
I cried wishing an escape,
From the pain and suffering,
Taste of salt from the tears,
Falling from blue eyes of such an irony,
If tears had turned to blood,
Tears of blood from my soul,
Dead and empty inside,
Thoughts of forever darkness fill my head,
What method of choice,
Can one choose to end the suffering?
Conscious mind of reason,
Stops my suicide from happening,
Realization the coward that was me,
Foolish of the thoughts,
Went through with it,
They win.
 
Turned the tides around,
Fought back from being pushed to a wall,
Turned my anguish,
Into a personal triumph,
Prove them wrong,
Paid my dues,
Never did you imagined,
I’d rise from the ashes,
Crying on the outside no more,
Lessons learned,
Bridges burned,
Thanks for all your hatred,
Everything you say,
Everything you done,
Turned me into a fighter,
Only made me wiser,
Thanks for making me stronger,
Not holding back,
Don’t let the truth hurt you,
Try as you might,
Already gone,
And moving on with my life,
Never again does the pain you inflected upon me,
Will make me fall into the hole of despair,
Just only makes me fight harder,
More determined to prove you wrong,
Looking back in the present,
Only loser I know,
Is not the one I see in the mirror.


Submitted: March 27, 2012

© Copyright 2022 Christian Taylor. All rights reserved.

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Comments

Maybeth

I love this poem! I see bullying happening every day at my school, and although I've never been a victim, I can see the damage it does. Please, continue to write. You're a great author.

Tue, March 27th, 2012 5:56pm

Author
Reply

Really?! Thats awesome; thank you for your kind words! Bullying is a huge problem that we have and I've been the victim of bullying; its not something that anybody deserves to go through.

Wed, March 28th, 2012 5:29pm

Blackmirror

Wonderful job. :)

Tue, March 27th, 2012 7:55pm

Author
Reply

Thank you! XD

Wed, March 28th, 2012 5:31pm

darkism

great poem, really liked it

Sun, April 1st, 2012 8:45pm

Author
Reply

Thanks friend! XD Glad to see your back!

Sun, April 1st, 2012 2:45pm

Semoyia

It's a wonderful poem and really shows how different life experiences can help shape who we become

Mon, April 2nd, 2012 8:23pm

Author
Reply

Exactly! Thanks!

Sun, April 8th, 2012 11:27am

SmileValentine

it's dark but i like it.. really good..
i know how it feels being bullied by someone.. actually, this happened to me many times when i was fifteen. and in return, i became one of them.. it's really embarrassing to remember that i'm always involve in this kind of event bcoz im a girl and they say that i punch harder than boys could.. and so, i realized that i made some mistakes somehow..i proved that im also a loser.. lol

Tue, April 3rd, 2012 11:06am

Author
Reply

Sometimes people feel the need to bully others just to feel accepted by their peers...I'm guilty of becoming a bully as well after going through years of being the one bullied. Looking back...I made mistakes, but like life...its lessons learned.

Thanks!

Sun, April 8th, 2012 11:25am

Lilcc cupcakeswagger

That was a great poem. I was being bullied all the time and i STILL AM. I was thinking about killing myself but you have made me feel moch better and when I well down I read this peom :)

Wed, April 4th, 2012 8:14pm

Author
Reply

Wow! I'm really glad you changed your mind due to my poem. Means alot that I left an impact on you. Bullying is not a fun thing to go through; and I can understand what your going through.

For me, the bullying was so bad...I dread going to school when I wake up each morning because I knew what was coming. If I was able to avoid being bullied by lunch break...that was considered a good day! I myself, had suicidal thoughts during this time, but I never could go through with it. Because it would make me look like a coward and I knew I'd be hurting alot of people in the end.

So I took the bullying and I used it to my advantage. It made me stronger and I proved that I was not what those bullies made me out to be. My best advice to you is... Hang in there! Life after high school is a blessing!

Don't forget that!

Sun, April 8th, 2012 10:54am

Davinder Ranu

I got bullied and dissed in high school I can relate to this and now when I look back and think about it whatever happened it happened for good reason...I will prove all of them wrong that I can be someone in life...If I ever see anyone from the past who dissed and bullied me....things will be different...loved it!

Mon, April 16th, 2012 6:48am

Author
Reply

Awesome dude! Yeah, I got bullied in middle and most of my high school years, but looking back it happened for obvious reasons and I know that I've become stronger from those dark times. If I ever saw any of the bullies again; I would just walk away pretend that I don't see them.

Mon, June 11th, 2012 6:17am

BITSxOFxKINKY

i think a lot of people will relate to this school years are so hard and children can be so cruel good write ... we have many posts you may not of read if you would like to come by to read some if you have time :)

Wed, April 18th, 2012 3:09pm

Author
Reply

It would be a surprise if only a few people comment on this because I think everyone has gone through this at one time or another.

Mon, June 11th, 2012 6:13am

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