Kaya's P.O.V (Kie-ya)
I stared at the hard set of Casen's face in exasperation. I could not believe how hard-headed and un-sympathetic he was acting. Sure I could understand why he would not want to see Emmerson, but they had once been best friends and I could not figure out why he would turn his back so cruelly now.
"Kaya do you really think it would be good for me to see him after everything that has happened? Do you want to see me come undone and undo everything that the military has done for me?" Casen asked with a rather scornful touch to his husky voice.
As much as I wanted to tell him how sexy he looked when he was in controlled anger form I also couldn't help but roll my eyes and heave a heavy sigh.
"Case you're being stupid and pig headed. He was once your best friend and all Addy is doing is trying to look out for her brother. She says he is trying to get off the drugs. She's scared can't you see? You know how people look Case, they lay there and shake and are so pale and clammy. It would scare anyone in there right mind."
I watched as his eyes flickered in Addison's direction and almost instantly knew what he was thinking. Nobody that knew Addy thought that she was in her right mind. I for one didn't blame her for being a bit batty. She had lived and still lived an extremely hard and testing life.
For as close as I was watching it was no wonder that I seen the smallest movement of his mouth and knew he was urging forward speech. I held up a silencing hand and made my gaze level with his.
"Look if you don't want to go then that's all venus fly traps and daffodils, but I am going and you will not stop me," I mustered up all the authority I could find within me and made sure it came through in my small speech to him.
I could feel that his anger was simmering just below his control level and hoped against hope that he would calm down and choose to go with me for I didn't know what was up ahead.
I chanced a quick glance at Addy and saw that she was wringing her hands and shuffling her feet while her eyes flickered back and forth between the two of us. As my gaze settled back on Casen I saw the small sag of his shoulder's signaling defeat and exhaled a huge sigh of relief.
"Thanks baby," I muttered and he walked up to take my hand as the three of us headed to Ole Delilah.
With a feeling of unease in the pit of my stomach I saw the ramshackle house come into view just over the small hill. An old rusted Volkswagon Beetle sat nestled in an overgrowth of vines and dead grass that looked to come up to a persons mid thigh atleast. Barely any paint still clung to the rotting boards of the small house and the porch would more accurately be called a hole. No screens covered the windows and most of the panes were terrorized by cracks if not completely gone.
It hit me so suddenly that had I not been sitting I would have been knocked over by the sudden mental blast. The images seared my brain and as I looked up at Casen I seen the creases appear in his forehead and the pained expression in his eyes and knew that he to was being attacked.
I squeezed Casen's leg in understanding as his hand's were busy gripping the steering wheel. Hot tears sprang to my eyes and I fiercely dabbed them away. I couldn't believe five months had passed since that horrible night. Five months since we had set sight on this house. Five months and still the pain was so fresh it felt as if it were yesterday or possibly even hours ago.
I jumped visibly as the engine sputtered to a stop and gave a low whine as the key was turned off. As soon as we had came to a stop Addy had sprang from the truck and ran to the shack she called a home. Casen and I more hesitantly made our way from the vehicle and still more unwillingly set off at a slow pace towards the "house".
I could sense the tension that filled Casen's body and noticed the sweat that layered his hand which was clamped tightly to mine. His movements were stiff and jerky. It was hitting him full force..I could tell. I feared looking into his eyes as I wasn't sure if I would find tears there or the many images that I was trying so hard to push from my own mind.
Suddenly a blood curdling scream issued from somewhere deep in the house and I felt that my heart had skipped a year's worth of beats and left me completely without the feeling of life. I felt dead, frozen in time as I felt Casen's body stiffen and halt in mid-step. For a moment I thought I had imagined the scream for it was the exact same one that had echoed the walls that night five months ago. But then I saw Addison hurtle out the front door, her foot catching one of the gaping holes of the front porch causing her to collide knee's first with the unforgiving wood that remained. Her body shook violently and I had the sudden impression that she was going to be sick.
Her frantic eye's sought us out and she mouthed words that I could not make out. She couldn't seem to find her voice and appeared angry that we did not understand the lightning speed at which her lips were forming words. The suddenly her voice was found again and she screamed two words.."HE'S DEAD."
Casen finally sprung into action but it took me a little longer to make my shocked body move even the slightest bit. As if I was a walking corpse my body took it's own control and moved me towards the house that Casen had now disappeared through. I stooped to help Addy to her feet and together we made our way into the house and she pointed to where we should go next.
The musty smell of the house had me gagging and wishing for fresh air. A small path had been made but that was the only visible part of the floor. As we entered the next room my knee's buckled and sent me falling to the floor with a dull thud. I could not tear my gaze away from the sight in front of me and I could only hear the loud sobbing of Addison.
He was just hanging there, a thick rope pulled taut around his bloodless neck. A small trickle of blood stood out on his chin. His eyes were thankfully closed. A chair lay on it's side beneath him and Casen stood there in front of him frozen.
I couldn't move but somehow took in the movement of Casen's hand moving and snatching something from Emmerson's dangling, pale hand. A piece of paper it seemed to be and as I tuned in I could hear the faint murmer of his voice as he started reading.
To whomever may be reading this,
The battle became to much and I had to end it myself.
Life is hell and I wasn't strong enough for it. Especially
not without my Claudia. She was my strength and everything I
lived for. You all know that I watched her life being corrupted
and ended right in front of my very eyes, for the stupid
mistakes that I myself had made. I couldn't live with myself
after that. I tried to quit the drugs, I really did. But
the cravings always overcame me. Had I been a stronger man
I would have found the demons that destroyed my Claudia
and made them pay. But I was weak, even I myself know that.
I can't make up for my mistakes, and I know I don't deserve my
friends forgiveness. But to Casen,Addy,Kaya, and Claudia I do
send my deepest apologies for ruining your lives. Think positive about
this..atleast now you won't have to put up with me any longer.
Me and my pitiful, pathetic ways have now been ended.
Addy stay strong and remember bubba loves you. Casen you're a great
man and I'm sorry your sister's life was ended so brutally
because of my mistakes. Kaya you're beautiful and a great lady for my
best friend. I'm sorry for taking your best friend from you. Claudia my love
I know for my sin of suicide I will not come to reside in Heaven with you..
but please feel my apologies and know that I am truly sorry for what
happened. I loved you with all of me and can't believe I let the drugs win.
With my life,
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