"D-Daddy," I sniffled, holding back the tears that were threatening to fall. "Daddy I don't want to get back on Talula," I pouted as I stood up and dusted dirt off my blue jeans. My little legs wobbled and my hands shook as I walked over to my dad.
My dad jumped from the fence, stirring up a cloud of dust as his worn Justin boots hit ground. "Your a cowgirl, dust yourself off and show that horse who's boss, what have I always told ya Kaya?"
"If you fall off, dust yourself off and try again, don't ever let the horse get the better of you," I said, a small quiver in my voice as I stared in the hard set of my dad's face.
Giving a small smile, he bent down to my level and looked me in the eyes.
Cowgirls don't cry, ride baby, ride
Lessons in life are gonna show you in time
Soon enough you gonna know why
It's gonna hurt every now and then
If you fall get back on again
Cowgirls don't cry
A smile spread across my youthful face, and I stood up taller. Proud as my daddy sang me the words of that inspirational song. I couldn't let him down. He had never let me down. I wasn't going to let this horse get the better of me.
He grinned and kissed my forehead. Pushing himself back into a standing position he ruffled my hair, "That's my girl," he beamed.
(End of Fb)
Stretching my legs out in front of me, I shifted restlessly on the rock I was currently sitting on. Staring absentmindedly into the rippling water of the small creek, I smiled forlornly as the memory faded.
I missed my daddy so much. The man who made me stronger. He had always been there for me. He had made me want to be so much more than I ever thought I could amount to. He made me proud of myself, and proud of him.
But then with no warning. With no reasonable reasoning. He had walked out on me and momma. He had chickened out on the hardships of a relationship.
For the first part of his leaving he had called. Although the first couple weeks I wouldn't have anything to do with him. I wouldn't say a word to him. Instead I would tell momma to tell him I wasn't home. Or I was busy, anything at all to keep me from having to talk to him.
Momma had eventually talked me into speaking to my father. I fell back into the role of being his beloved baby girl. I went to visit him every weekend. We would ride horses and camp out. Go to rodeo's or just have movie nights.
I was sixteen years old, waiting on the front porch, duffel bag in hand as I waited anxiously for my dad to show up. I was like a small child, giddy with excitement and restless with pent up energy.
"Kaya sweety, come into the house. You've been waiting out there for over an hour. It's getting cold and it doesn't look like he's going to show up."
I shuffled around slowly and looked at my mother through the screen door. "I'm fine momma. It's not all that cold and I have faith that he will be here soon," I grumbled.
She looked at me sympathetically and opened the door. Holding her hand out she gently pushed a light jacket into my arms. "Atleast put this on sweetheart," she sighed.
I took the jacket and slipped it on. If that made her happy then I would do it. "Thanks momma," I whispered."
(End of Fb)
I had waited for nearly three hours that day for my dad to show up, or alteast call. But he had never done either one. A week later he had finally called. Drunkenly slurring his words as he attempted to apologize. I had hung up on my dad that day and hadnt heard from him in nearly three years.
Tears where now welling up in my eyes. What do you think you are doing?, I scolded myself, Cowgirls don't cry.
I lightly ran my hand over my belly. Tears still jumped to the corners of my eyes, but I somehow managed to hold them back.
My fingers gently caressed the baby bump. "Oh sweet little angel what am I going to do?" I whispered. As if in response to my question, I felt a tiny bump against my hand.
I started in surprise and my eyes widened. If I had felt right, I was quite sure my baby had just kicked me. I moved my hand back to my stomach and sat very still. There it was again. The smallest of nudges against my hand.
I smiled widely and jumped up. It felt now as if all my worries had been lifted away. I gave a small skip of joy. "Oh sweet angel you have made mommy very happy," I cooed into the wind.
Suddenly feeling light as a feather I turned to exit the woods. I couldn't wait to find Casen and tell him the baby was starting to kick. Our baby was showing life already.
Smiling ear to ear I stepped from the protection of the tree's and out into open field. Looking out across the pasture I hoped to see Casen on the tractor somewhere near by. But instead I squealed in surprise as a figure stepped in front of me and wrapped his arms around me tightly.
"Babygirl," he beamed.
(AN-Btw-Girl or Boy? What should Casen and Kaya's baby be?)
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