Freedom at last.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

Hey guys and girls of booksie, this is my first piece of work I have submitted on here. It is a poem about a creature that is trapped and yearns for freedom. I wrote it last year as an assignment for English, I hope you enjoy it.

I see birds flying high in the sky and grass ever so green.

They are things outside my cage that for me can only be seen.

I wish to go back to where my home used to be.

I want to see my family and friends and I want to be free.

Metal bars, darkness and a small space, is the environment I now live in, it’s not a nice place.

I feel trapped and alone and this place I now live I shall never call my home.

Here I weep every day and every night.

Why don’t they know that keeping me trapped here just isn’t right?

I have tried to escape this place before but I did not succeed.

They think I’m happy and have all I need.

But they are wrong.

I may have food and water and a roof over my head.

But what about freedom, love and a decent bed.

I am determined to leave this awful place even if it takes me forever.

So I won’t give up not ever.

As days turn into months and months into years my hope begins to die.

All my dreams of escaping I have kissed goodbye.

I lie in my cage and begin to mope.

With my shattered heart and broken dreams and I now don’t know how to cope.

I see the creatures that keep me here in this cage.

My sadness begins to turn into blood boiling rage.

They open the door and set me free.

I think they saw all the suffering and pain they caused me.

I run outside to the world that’s as beautiful as I recall.

I am so overcome with happiness and joy my eyes begin to brawl.

I don’t even mind how many years have passed;

the only thing that matters to me is that I got my freedom at last!


Submitted: April 19, 2012

© Copyright 2022 Courtney Fields. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

lilyrose 1997

love it great work! amazingly worded and layed out! keep writing maybe cheeck out some of my work :)

Thu, April 19th, 2012 6:22pm

Author
Reply

^.^ Thank you, I couldn't get the setting out right on here, i'm still an amature XD. Thank you for the comment as well, I will be sure to read some of your work. :)

Thu, April 19th, 2012 11:32pm

GuiltyPleasure

Intense! I could feel the pain and rage of the caged.

Liked!

Fri, April 20th, 2012 10:02am

Author
Reply

Thank you for reading my poem and sharing your opinion on it ^.^ I will read more of your stuff when you post some okay :) Again thank you for reading, I enjoy getting feedback :)

Fri, April 20th, 2012 3:14am

Becks101

Amazing :D I loved it keep it up :)

Fri, April 20th, 2012 1:15pm

Author
Reply

Thank you for reading, taking the time to reply and sharing your thoughts. I am eager to read more of your works :)

Fri, April 20th, 2012 6:16am

Soul_Dreamer

That was really lovely. I loved it, I hope you write more poems like this one. If you do then I'll definitely read them!!!
Xxx

Fri, April 20th, 2012 1:49pm

Author
Reply

Thank you, I am glad you liked it. I will be sure to read your works aswell. Thank you for taking the time to read and share your thoughts on my poem. :)

Fri, April 20th, 2012 7:11am

Vibrant Shadow

I really enjoyed it. It was a quick emotional roller coaster! You had me seeing the world outside the cage in the opening and feeling the sorrow as the creature weeps,(I imagined a birds song slowly dying.)I almost feared that the creature was going to retaliate though as the cage was opened, but then your ending inspired hope.

Fri, April 20th, 2012 1:57pm

Author
Reply

Wow, I love the reply, thank you for sharing your thoughts through-out the poem, I am glad you added your own imagination while you were reading. I will be sure to read some of your works in the future.

Fri, April 20th, 2012 7:07am

abobakr

it's very expressive i can feel that >
also i feel yr pain and dream.
GO ahead!

Fri, April 20th, 2012 2:04pm

Author
Reply

Thank you for taking the time to read and share your thoughts on my poem :) I am glad you could feel the way the creature in my poem felt (I mean this in a good way though) :)

Fri, April 20th, 2012 7:10am

Jaywrite44

Well written and from the heart.

Fri, April 20th, 2012 3:44pm

Author
Reply

Thank you. I am glad you liked it and I appreciate that you took the time to read it and leave a comment. :)

Fri, April 20th, 2012 5:08pm

John Stark

Very good poem, As previously mentioned by someone else, i really think you did a good job on showing the desperate feeling of being trapped with no way out, and the joy and relief from being set free. The violent contrast between both those emotions really creates a powerful feeling while reading this poem! Hope you keep up the good work! :)

Fri, April 20th, 2012 4:07pm

Author
Reply

Thank you for both reading and leaving a comment. I am glad you liked it and felt something from it. Also thank you, I will write some more poems when I can. :)

Fri, April 20th, 2012 5:07pm

JamesPacheco

This was great. Good work.

Fri, April 20th, 2012 8:50pm

Author
Reply

Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment :)

Fri, April 20th, 2012 4:53pm

Aphrodite88

this was amazing i loved it you have real tallent keep writing :)

Fri, April 20th, 2012 11:26pm

Author
Reply

Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment. I will be sure to read your works too.

Fri, April 20th, 2012 4:52pm

azelakhil33

This is really good, glad your free now! Check out the beginning of my novel and let me know what you think!

Sat, April 21st, 2012 12:32am

Author
Reply

I will and thank you. I am glad you liked it and took the time to read and leave a comment. I will check out your novel soon.

Fri, April 20th, 2012 5:47pm

forbiddenlove4

Well done :)

Sat, April 21st, 2012 12:59am

Author
Reply

Thank you for reading and leaving a comment I am glad you liked it.

Fri, April 20th, 2012 6:02pm

justanormalgirl

I love this :)

Sat, April 21st, 2012 2:23am

Author
Reply

Thank you very much. :)

Fri, April 20th, 2012 7:26pm

RaisedByChimps20

it was pretty good. are you more into poetry then? if u want criticism i will only say that the rhythm was off, but now reading it im sure it wasnt really meant to have a solid rhythm through out. the story was good though, very simple but good enough to be entertaining and maybe even relateable to some. if your into poems i got a poem thats literally like 8 lines, its short and sweet and would love your opinion on it. and thanks for reading my novel too, that was really nice of u. im definetly into poems so if u write any more poems shoot me a message and ill check them out. btw i just uploaded ch. 9 of the novel. u dont have to read it but it would be appriciated :)

Sat, April 21st, 2012 2:59am

Author
Reply

I will read chapter 9 when I can also thanks for your opinion. I do enjoy poetry but I also enjoy stories too. When I write I favour stories since there is more imagination involved but poems usually take less time to write, hence my first upload being a poem. Yeah I amimed my poem to simple and relatable for some but I also wanted that touch of sweetness (not sure if I succeeded with that though),i'll go check out your poem as soon as I can and I will leave a comment. I am happy to read most of the things people post and reply with some feedback. I thank you for taking time out of your day to read and review my poem.

Fri, April 20th, 2012 8:10pm

fallen words

great poem i have no words to appreciate ur poem

Sat, April 21st, 2012 4:09am

Author
Reply

Thank you very much. :)

Fri, April 20th, 2012 9:18pm

poetgirl7397

omagawsh i so love it. i may have a 'unique' style but u definitely have a gift. iv felt like how u described before, all caged up, and i think u described it perfectly. please please please WRITE MORE!!!

Sat, April 21st, 2012 4:32am

Author
Reply

I am glad you liked it and thank you for saying I have a gift, you have one too :) I promise to write more poems and or stories when I have the time. Also I am sorry to hear that you have had a caged up feeling before. Anyways thank you so much for reading and commenting on my poem, it means alot :)

Fri, April 20th, 2012 9:39pm

AshleyRose

This is like a story and it's really good. My heart was breaking while reading your poem. Truly marvelous. Good job :)

Sat, April 21st, 2012 5:01am

Author
Reply

Thank you, it means alot that you took the time to read my poem and respond. I am glad you liked it. :)

Fri, April 20th, 2012 10:04pm

MyVintageFairytale

this is really good you have a great writing style i like the way the words flow.


MyVintageFairytale

Sat, April 21st, 2012 5:13am

Author
Reply

Thank you, that means alot. I am greatful that you took the time to read and comment on my poem.

Fri, April 20th, 2012 10:17pm

Pharaoh888

Wow! You really knew how to display the narrators POV so greatly! The descriptions and rhythms are so strong it kinda made me feel that I was in her/his place thirsting for freedom. Although it has a frustrating atmosphere, yet it carries a warm beneficial message. This poem really has a lot of movement in it, and it is remarkably well written.

Well done, and thumbs up ;)

Sat, April 21st, 2012 11:33am

Author
Reply

I like your comment :) Also thank you, getting feedback means alot. I am glad you enjoyed it and I am glad you could imagine the feelings of the creature and the atmosphere surrounding him/her. Thank you again for taking the time to read and comment on my poem. :)

Sat, April 21st, 2012 4:39am

steven cooke

nice work. A little wordy in places, but excellent subject matter. Freedom is so very hard to find these days.

Sat, April 21st, 2012 12:32pm

Author
Reply

Thank you for reading and repling. Also yeah I tend to write a bit much in one sentance so I will try to work on that, thank you for pointing it out, criticism is usually just as good as praise when it comes to a story or poem. I have to agree with you about little freedom. Even now we aren't exactly free, we are trapped by our technology and this trapped is by our own will.

Sat, April 21st, 2012 5:39am

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