Metagore, The Battle For
Reads: 49176 | Likes: 8 | Shelves: 62 | Comments: 234
Book by: D. L. Stewart
Comments
I loved this chapter, you showed the emotion of love between Topaz (my character) and Brighton. I can't wait to start my story with them later when I get home! :)
Im enjoying this story a lot!
Author
Reply
Thanks. I'm glad that you like it :)
Solid beginning that promises a complex, epic story. Many characters, which is a must for classic fantasy genre; hardcore politics intertwined with personal lyrical interludes, etc. You've created a detailed setting with its own lore, that's something very important for fantasy. Keep it up! :-)
Author
Reply
Thanks for your feedback. I hope you continue to read on & enjoy the rest of the story
This chapter does well to set the scene for the treaty, but is light on descriptive and character development and how the treaty works out appears a little too tidy. Surely there'd be more arguments and claims to the overlordship? Just my thoughts on that though.
Very few silly errors which is always a good thing as I have a tendency to stop reading if something is full of them. I am going to add this to my reading list to see how it develops.
Author
Reply
Thanks for the feedback...this chapter is a new chapter that I added after I started writing the story. I had originally had this inotice about the treaty in with the prologue/introduction, but I had a lot of people say that they would prefer this be an actual chapter. Hence why the treaty seems too polished & there weren't any conflict. This chapter is mainly a backstory to the main story...I do hope to hear from you on future chapters, & I hope you continue to enjoy the story
This looks really good! It seems so interesting. I hope you can finish it soon.
Author
Reply
Thanks, I've been working on writing more chapters
I absolutely loved this chapter :) Brighton riding on his griffin is pretty cool, though I would love to know if he gives his griffin a name :) So Topaz is a fire-vampire? That would be cool having a fire-wielding vamp in Metagore. The politics between the kingdom is pretty interesting, but being a girl in her adolescence, I must say, I am very much interested in this romance between Topaz and Brighton. This is a very promising first chapter. I will continue to read the rest. Great job! :)
~BB
Author
Reply
Thanks for reading...um this chapter is still kind of tied into the prologue, and the next chapter jumps ahead 735 years...this chapter and the prologue were to give you, the reader, a better understanding on the land and it's past before the story actually starts up...but I do hope that you continue reading on into the story. There are multiple 'romance' scenarios and match ups through out the story. And as for Topaz, I don't know what you would really call her. So far in the story she's the only person that has the fire element, so for now she is one of a kind, but there will be more implemented sometime down the line.
Your writing is excellent! Sad to say the story is not really my cup of tea, but I enjoy your descriptions, and the emotion that comes out of the page.
Author
Reply
Thanks for your feedback. I wish you all the best of luck here at Booksie.
I checked this a while back when it first started and it looked good. Now it looks even better.
Author
Reply
Thanks. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.
Brighton & Topaz seem lovely together. The treaty was kind of rushed, but it was still very good. I'll read on later
Author
Reply
Thanks for your feedback. I hope you continue to enjoy the story
This is certainly promising! I noticed that the next chapter is 700 years later. If this chapter is mainly backstory, I would suggest removing it altogether. Prologues are rarely as necessary as we authors think they are :) It's much better to simply dive in to your main story and reveal the backstory as you go along. I'm looking forward to reading more!
Author
Reply
Yeah, I was thinking about removing it. Originally it wasn't in here, but I added it so it would connect two different stories together...but after I finish the first draft of the story, I do think I'm going to remove it..I can't wait to hear back from you on later chapters, & I hope that you enjoy them.
A good start, it lays out the politics and characters for readers well. Your world building is excellent and the physicality of the characters is developed brilliantly.
Author
Reply
Thanks. I hope you continue to read on & enjoy the story
Nice!
The prologue was quite fun! I loved the detail, I wish I had the ability to out every detail into word as I seen them the way you do.
I look forward to reading the rest as time permits
J
Author
Reply
Thanks. I look forward to hearing from you soon
I love, love, love the way you describe each and every scene in this chapter. The first part got me reading and the prose is just amazing. Everything's in full detail, which I really liked. Though there are a few grammar mistakes and errors here and there, I really enjoyed the story's beginning. It's really interesting how you can have quite a creative mind to create such setting. It's a brilliant start and I will be reading more of this.
Author
Reply
I'm glad you enjoyed it, & I will be going back and fixing the grammar mistakes later on. I look forward to hearing from you on future chapters.
LOVE THIS CHAPTER AND GOOD WORK
I absolutely love this story and I am so happy to see someone picking out images of their characters to help further develop them and mapping out the location of the fictional universe OMG I thought I was the only one who did this. I'm only up to Chapter 30 but I'm steadily reading and cringing lol Good work!
Author
Reply
Thanks for the support, If you notice the chapter numbers get all wonky, but that's because I've started writing the second draft of some of the chapters...so don't get startled and think you've missed something or something somehow got deleted. Also I have a video gaming software that I used to make the characters look as closely as I could to how I want them to look. I'm still new to the software and haven't figured everything out yet, but I am slowly working on it, and updating the character pics that I have posted. And I am very thankful that you enjoy looking over them as well. I have put a lot of time into creating a vast fantasy world, including many kingdoms that aren't on the map, but are overseas that you will hear names of, and at some point I'm sure I'll post a global map of all of them. Again, thanks for your support, and I hope to hear from you on future chapters.
Wow! this is awesome!
Hello, I'm going to be honest, while I do enjoy fantasy stories, my main interest is more supernatural or horror stories. That being said, what I've read here is highly intriguing, I'm curious to see the outcome! Keep up the good work!
A very good first chapter. It is very detailed and I felt I could see from each of the character's points of view. Brighton and Topaz sound like a lovely couple that truly love and understand one another. I will read on to see how the next chapter plays out.
very good effort i love your story
Wow you are on chapter 99 . Greate work do read my book aswel its called cursed
Your book is amazing, definitely better than mine in word choice and creativity. I can't wait to read the rest and learn some tips on fantasy writing.
Author
Reply
Thank you. I hope you enjoy reading and learn what you need to, to better your own craft.
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