Chapter 7: Goodbyes.

A/N: Blood is now off hiatus! Isn't that amazing? Anyhoo, just to refresh you memories, here's a quick recap of what happened during the last chapters. :] After Anthony had a breakdown in Chapter 4, he was brought to the hospital and diagnosed with severe psychotic depression. After a few days the doctors said he would recover with adequate rests and anti-depressant medications and he was sent home. But he didn't change. He became more and more of a zombie as days passed and it depressed everyone. Lana and Jason didn't go to check on him anymore because they couldn't stand seeing him suffer. Only Ray and Jess checked on him. But since Ray's always working, looking after Anthony has become Jess' major obligation. Lana's worried that Jess is becoming dead inside like Anthony due to the gradual decrease of her emotions. And Jess is starting to question her sanity too.I really suggest reading that recap so you don't get confused. Enjoy! I'm posting the next chapters shortly. Just make me feel loved. :d

Chapter VII

-Lana’s POV-

The funeral for Haley is scheduled tomorrow morning as said by Ray when I got home.
We all gathered in the living room, without Anthony, of course.
I looked around and noticed that Jess, too, was missing.
“Where’s Jess?” I asked Frank.
He replied with a funny look. “Do I look like a lost-and-found for crazy people?”
It’s amazing how he can still make jokes even after all this mess.
It wasn’t a joke though, we all knew what he meant.
“Her car is in the driveway when I got home, so she’s probably upstairs.” Ray replied.
I nodded, counting the people in the room.
Jason, Me, Frank and Ray.
It seems incomplete.
As a matter of fact, it felt devastatingly incomplete.
Without Haley and Anthony.
And Jess.
I didn’t noticed that I zoned out until Jason shook my shoulders.
“Huh, what?” I looked at them.
“We were talking about the funeral tomorrow…Remember?” Ray stated.
Oh. Yeah.
“I’m pretty sure Jess is going, but I don’t know about Anthony.” Frank said.
Everyone nodded.
“We’ll take the van, since Louise is coming too.” Jason suggested.
I gasped.
Louise.
Whose to tell her the truth?
Whose to say it’s her mom, we’re burying?
“Lana?” I heard them say.
“Whose gonna tell her what happened to Haley?” I muttered, not sure if everyone heard me.
They all looked down.

…Next Day.

The wake and funeral was scheduled at 9am in Belleville Memorial Church.
Roughly, an hour-drive from home.
It seems strange enough that two big cities in Jersey are sharing one common Church.
There should be few churches in each city, right?
Since it was an hour-drive, we had to get up at 6:15 so we could eat breakfast, and prepare for the wake.
It wasn’t included in the plan to bring Anthony with us, but Jess insisted that he must be included in his wife’s funeral.
So we brought him too.
Jess was in his room for 30 minutes and when they came out, Anthony looked quite presentable.
He’s still a zombie, nonetheless.
I made breakfast (and ate with everyone, excluding Anthony & Jess) then got Louise ready.
Now, we and the guests are just waiting for the mass to begin.
Some people were gathered around Haley’s opened casket.
Obviously having a conversation, but it was too faint for my ears to hear.
Louise slept on my lap as Ray and Frank sat next to me.
Jess sat by Anthony, acting as a support whenever she’s needed.
When she was assisting Anthony inside the church, some people, Haley’s & Anthony’s friends shot Jess a weird look.
Kind of like a ‘geez-now-what-she’s-fucking-her-sister’s-husband-too’ look.
I wanted to go there and defend Jess.
They don’t have a single idea on how hard this has been for Jess.
And if not for her, who knows what had happened to Anthony?
I gazed at the clock on the west wall of the church.
8:59am
It’s almost time.

-Jess’ POV-

Many attendees of my sister’s funeral were her friends.
Some were our relatives.
Distant aunts and cousins.
But I never saw mom and dad.
I don’t know if Haley’s death still remains unmentioned to them
That’s very unlikely, however.
I could be pretty certain that they know what happened to her.
They just decided not to show their fucking faces.

(Flashback)

“I was a freshman in high school on that night. It was the night that changed all our lives.

‘Mom, dad, please,’ my sister begged. I sat on the top of the stairs, listening to their conversation.

‘No. We had dreams for you. Me and your mom—but you just destroyed all of it. You and this useless piece of shit you call your boyfriend!!!’ dad yelled. Even though I couldn’t see what’s happening downstairs, his tone and words painted the scenery right before my eyes. I noticed tears welling up on my eyes and Haley cried. Mom wasn’t saying anything, just weeping.

‘Please Mr. Connors, she can still go to school and finish college. Even with the baby.’ Anthony begged.

‘Shut up! I’m not asking for your opinion! You poor and pathetic asshole.’ dad screamed.

‘That baby is your daughter’s and mine! And as a matter of fact, it’s us who has to decided what’s gonna happen to our fucking baby!!’ Anthony yelled back.

‘“Oh really? Mr. Price why don’t you fucking---‘ dad started but Haley cut him off.

‘DAD!!! ANTHONY!!! STOP IT! Please…I want to keep the baby!’ she begged. I cried.

‘Your miserable little life isn’t fucked up enough for you? Then fucking go and have fun screwing this mess you fucking call your life with this bleeding sod and that bloody child!’ Dad spat in sheer revulsion.

‘Dad, please—‘ Haley began but dad retorted, ‘Don’t fucking call me dad! When I get home, I want you gone including all your shit like you never fucking existed.’ and with that, the front door opened and slammed closed, followed by the screeching of tires. I knew Haley and Anthony are going to go up stairs anytime soon to pack her stuffs, therefore, I swiftly, yet quietly, ran to my room, shutting the door behind me, as gentle as I am capable of.

I was not wrong. A few minutes afterwards, hushed footsteps came up the stairs, then to the room next to mine. I listened intently but heard nothing but Haley’s sobs and drawers being opened. It seemed like every second stretched into a sea of eternal delay, as a newborn pain nibbled on the edge of my being. My family is being crushed, and after what my father had made his mind up to, there was no longer a family. Just the remains and pieces of what it used to be, just as half-incinerated photo album, with some of its pictures charred to ashes.

I didn't know that four years later, these excruciating reminders would still haunt me. I had no idea her face, torn between gratitude and pain, when I told her I will go with her and Anthony, would be embedded in my mind forever. And that it will weaken me and send me grasping for air as I held myself in one piece.

She tried to convince me to stay with Mom and Dad, but I firmly stood my ground. Mom struggled to stop me but I refused to grant her wish. I knew what I wanted. I wanted to be a part of a family that didn't care about what the neighbors will say, or what the relatives will say. I wanted to be a part of a family that existed peacefully without fights. A family full of love and compassion.

Though, we knew we were far from our happy ending. They were barely old enough to survive on their own, and so was I; but that didn't stop me from doing the right thing. The odds against us didn't stop me from sacrificing my future to help them. To give up a pleasant future in exchange for theirs' to be safe and secure. I didn't know why I helped them, or why I sacrificed my own happiness. All I know is I didn't want them to end up on the streets like some people I knew.

And even though I felt a little anger towards Anthony, I couldn't blame my sister for choosing a non-existent, hazy future with him and their baby, because every time I see her look at him, I know she's happy. I don't only know it, I feel it. That's why I know my sacrifice isn't going to waste. Every time she looks at him, its was like he's the blue sky, she had never seen before. The way he moved around her, seemed choreographed. The way he always stood protectively next to her, like he would dodge a bullet for her, or jump in front of a bus to save her. Or simply, love and protect her the rest of his life.

How they loved each other was unrealistic and wonderful. But I knew it was as vivid as blood on snow, it was as tangible as life and death. I felt that they were one of those, meant-to-be souls. That whatever period in time they are in, they will find each other. They would be happy together, they would perish together, and their cycle of love will start again.”

All of us were just pieces used to build their perfect romance. Lana, Jason, Frank, Ray and Me. We are just minor characters in this play, while Haley, Anthony and Louise are the main roles. It was our duty to make their life merry, and all we deserved in return was their joy. As we should build our lives around that insignificant, perfect, joy. That joy built our worlds, it imprisoned us, taught us how to eat, how to breath. And I though I would throw up will all the joy in me. I disliked that joy, because I wanted my own joy. My own happiness. My own story.

I looked around, pass the scrutinizing eyes of people, searching for the minor characters. Frank, Jason, and Ray were talking to some of their friends back in high school. Lana was standing by the deep purple casket, sadly talking to some people I don't know. She turned to me and nodded, and the woman she was talking to followed her gaze. I dropped my eyes to the milky marble floor before she could give me a similar glare. I'm getting sick of that same scrutinizing, judgmental stare. I have not the faintest clue what's it for. Nevertheless, it annoyed me. I will cut a bitch if I get another stare like that.

I examined the floor. The marble was a very light shade of brown, almost milky with a dab of butterscotch, with random and unique swirls and ribbons of deep mocha laces interlaced with thick threads of liquid bronze. Through squinted eyes, you'd notice the tiny crack-like lines along the edges of the interwinded ribbons. They were all bunched up together in different spots, blending well with the exquisite stone. They produced deep shadows, making the swirls appear 3D. But all you wouldn't notice their existence. They're just pieces used to create a bigger masterpiece. Without them, marble wouldn't be marble. It would just be another piece of stone, ignored by everyone due to its normality. But because of these minor parts, little and insignificant, the marble became what it is. Though, no one really stopped and thanked the little crack-lines for what they've done. No one imagined what would've happened if they didn't sacrifice themselves to be parts of the marble. As a matter of fact, no one noticed them at all to thank them.

Just like no one noticed the sister who sacrificed her future to make her sister's better. No one noticed the boy who gave up his love to make his friend and the love of his life happy together, forever. No one noticed these two souls. All people acknowledged was the perfect little family we have helped shape. We were insignificant.

And when the marble crumbles and breaks, people look closely deeper into the surface. And for the first time, they notice the diminutive lines that once made the marble beautiful and perfect. But they still don't thank the lines. They judge and critic them. And they blame these faithful lines to be the cause of the entire marble's fall. They say that these lines were cracks and breaks in the stone, and they made the marble crumble. So they shout that they don't want these pesky lines on their new marbles.

And the lines' purpose and duty is forever lost and unknown to anyone. Except the lines themselves. They were materials to aid the stone be a marble, and they cannot leave and built another marble. Or perhaps, built their own stone. It will not be as exquisite and as perfect like marble, but it will be their own. So they will wither away too, along with the marble, along with their cause.

And we will wither away too, denied the right to build our own happy ending.

x - - - - - - - x
A/N: Did you like the long chapter? :d
Btw, I need to know which style of writing you guys prefer
And which is easier/more enjoyable to read.
The long standard paragraphs,
Or the poem-like lines, with one sentence in each line,
Eh?