Chapter 4:

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

Reads: 159
Comments: 4

Dear Diary,
So far today is a good day.  I have the house to myself all day besides my gram being home, but I normally just stay away from her.  Mom and dad are at a party all day.  I’m honestly not even sure when they will be getting home.  
It does scare me though.  It scares me to think that they will be driving home after drinking.  I mean, I know my parents are mean and everything, but I don’t want them to get into a wreck, or get caught by the police.  That would just be a huge mess.  
I am sorry I didn’t write to you yesterday.  It turned out to be a really bad day.  Sometimes Mason can be really mean, and little things set him off.  Although he never hit me, he can still act really mean.  
Yesterday I went to the shoe store with my mom to get new flip flops, and I sent Mason a picture of me wearing these high heals.  He flipped out saying that I lied to him because I wasn’t getting flip flops.  He also said that he didn’t understand why I always had to wear something sexy.  He can never get the thought out of his head; he thinks that I want guys to look at me that way, and that I want to show off my body.  I tell him that I’m not that way, but he doesn’t believe me.  He said if I had to wear a semi low cut shirt, or any type of sexy clothing, he wasn’t going to waste his time.  I just don’t understand.  
I’m not in chorus next year because he didn’t want me to be.  I guess I wasn’t able to text him enough when I had concerts and stuff, and he wasn’t sure that he would be at all the concerts.  He said that I shouldn’t have to do chorus; that singing in front of just him should be good enough.  
This makes him sound so wrong though.  He feels bad for me not being in chorus, and when he does bring stuff out on me, he beats himself up for it a lot.  Sometimes it’s like a huge roller coaster with him.  We have so many sharp turns and large, steep drops.  I could never break up with him, but I know if I pushed him too far he would break up with me.  The problem is, sometimes he does the same things that I do that upset him, and he doesn’t realize that I’m not flipping out on him like he would on me.  
Today was great though.  I got to sleep in, and I helped mom make lunch.  Mom and I were talking yesterday.  I don’t understand why she stays with my dad when she talks so many bad things about him.  I was telling her that dad doesn’t do anything around the house.  Mom runs his bath before he gets home.  She has supper ready for him before he gets off work.  She puts his clothes away, she makes the bed.  And when mom isn’t home, my dad expects me to do all these things for him.  I told mom this, and she acted like it wasn’t a big deal.  She said that he’s never lived on his own, and therefore someone was always taking care of him.  I asked her what she would do when dad started saying his bath water wasn’t hot enough.  She didn’t answer me.  I really think that she’s only still with him because he has a good job, and makes the money for our family.  She is just a bartender at a local club, and basically lives off her tips.  If dad were out of the picture, we wouldn’t have anywhere to go.  
I love my parents to death, and I don’t want to lose my dad.  It would kill me to lose another family member.  Although they treat me horrible, I could not bear them not being there.  Sometimes they have their times, and they treat me ok.  All I want is my parents to be parents.  I don’t care if they discipline me, or if they yell at me, as long as it is reasonable.  I long for them to be there.  I pray every night that they will realize what they are doing, and that they are hurting me.  Maybe some morning I’ll wake up and they won’t be sleeping off a hangover from the night before.  I can only hope.

Love, Saturday, June 26th, 2010.  5:25 pm

Submitted: June 26, 2010

© Copyright 2020 DearDiaryWriter. All rights reserved.


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Add Your Comments:



She sounds very hopeful. She knows her parents treat her badly and still hopes they change. Very nice. :D

Sat, June 26th, 2010 3:31pm


Thank you :) I'm really glad your liking it. I wasn't so sure with writing this, but it looks like it is going ok. :) It really means a lot when you keep commenting. :) thanks again!

Sat, June 26th, 2010 9:12am

Brii Morris

Wow, this is sad. I think one of her parents is going to die, and then she's going to get blamed for it, and get beaten badly. That's just my guess.
Must read more.

Sun, June 27th, 2010 12:52pm


:) We will see won't we? Thanks so much for reading and commenting!

Sun, June 27th, 2010 6:04am

sweet angel

nice one! I'm sorry I didn't comment coz my trip had gone to world's second largest mines yesterday (my birthday too!) and got to do lots of preparations! I love this chapter!

Thu, July 1st, 2010 12:40am


Yay :) Thank you! And don't worry about it, it's ok. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :) Thanks for commenting, and I'm so glad you like it!

Wed, June 30th, 2010 11:26pm

zainub ajmal

Awww i feel really sorry for the girl,

this is so sweet:D

Sat, July 3rd, 2010 9:21am


Thank you :)

Sat, July 3rd, 2010 6:05am