How many times has it been since my feelings have been cradled and then dropped, the sad hope and desires that people wait for , almost always gets stomped and trashed hopelessly with not a
clue its happening till they left.
People almost never realize what they got until they lost it, and it takes someone with real guts to admit to what they did wrong, even though maybe to you it’s not a problem but to others
it’s like the world on their shoulders.
About a couple years ago I was so shortly told that my life was going to end in a couple months. Now listen here, who tells someone that they have six months tops till they die and not expect
a single tear? I can’t live my whole life in six months. Let alone I haven’t even lived yet. I’m only sixteen. I haven’t had any fun, Mainly because I pretty much live at a hospital, and let me
tell you something it’s not much fun, because one minute I have some company in the bed beside me which I get every so often, but then their day comes and they’re gone. I happen to live in
Kingston, and it may not be the best place, but the hospital here is great, only because the other hospitals food tastes like crap, mean while the food here is great and they even give me a menu,
but only because I’m dieing and they feel sorry for me.
I’m Sixteen and dieing? To young, and they thought seeing pregnant sixteen year olds were a problem, but what about dieing sixteen year olds? I’ve never even had my first kiss; I have
had leukemia since I was nine. They said that all the treatment and chemotherapy would get rid of it soon enough and I’d live a healthy life. Here I am 7 years later dieing. I’m never going to get
married, have kids or even become a singer like I have wanted to since I could talk. How fair is that? People always said that God makes life for us to live and make our choices. I’m not living nor
is this my choice? God always said people deserve second chances. Why don’t I? I have never hit anybody? Killed anyone? I have been sitting in a hospital bed for almost seven years and I think I
deserve a chance to live. I mean wouldn’t you?
My life isn’t over and I am not going to let it end right here! Not at all, I know for a fact that my family would do anything to try and help me, but they’re always crying to me saying
I’ll get through this and it’s alright I’m here, but I’m not crying? They cry to me, I don’t cry to them, they know I’m dieing, but they still have hope. Hopes not bad to have, but I have lost all
hope, I know I won’t stop trying but it’s a waste of their money. What happens when I die? And they have no money trying to save their dead little daughter, R.I.P Tanya white.
Tanya white is my name. Not a very good name for someone if they wanted to be famous. Tanya white in bright lights at a concert, can’t see it.
I have no brothers or sisters, I have a mom a dad, and a fish named bob that sits beside me on the night stand, next to the pills I half to take everyday.
My dads name is Joe white, and my mothers name is Kelsey white. I look like her in a lot of ways; I don’t have hair but I did and it was dark brown but I have a wig and its dark brown past my
breasts. I have with brilliant hazel eyes, as my mom calls them. I don’t have freckles or dimples, I have rather long eye lashes and I’m about 5:5. I wish my parents would have tried for another
kid, because if I die, they have no kids, and if anyone asks if they have kids what are they suppose to say? Oh I did but she died? I think they’re afraid that if they have another kid they might
die of cancer to, but that’s very unlikely the doctors even said so, I guess they don’t want to be the one out of the million who has two children that’s diagnosed with cancer, understandable but
at least try.
I haven’t been to school since I was in grade three, but I’m not dumb.
I’m home schooled, hospital schooled if you want to be technical. High school, I always looked forward to that, but I didn’t picture it as me sitting in a hospital bed all day. I pictured me
with stylish clothes, cute boyfriend roaming the halls with my posy, but I’m not the bitch from the movie mean girls. All though she’s pretty so I wouldn’t mind her looks. I guess you can say I’m
pretty; I’ve got second looks for this guy who comes by all the time to see his mom. I feel bad; I wouldn’t be able to live with out my mom. My mom and dad are all I have, my other family feels to
bad to come and see me, because they don’t know what to say. What do you say to a kid that’s dieing?
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