We spent he next week going back and forth from the hospital and the cancer center in Sherman.
We filled out enough medical forms for the hospital the cancer center and the insurance company to sink a battleship.
Then came the first chemo treatment,what a ordeal she had to endure.
The chemo was a very thick liquid that was given intravenously. It was so thick it would take nearly two hours to drain into her. She described it as a very cold sludge advancing through her body.
We barely made it home before she had to run n to the bathroom and upchuck her lunch. Then the nausea hit her and laid her out for the rest of the day.
Knowing she would soon lose her hair from the chemo, she got her long brown tresses cut very short. By the third chemo treatment her hair began to fall out.
She and her Mom went shopping for a few wigs for her to have and then they went to a beauty shop and she had the shave her head. She did that rather than endure watching her hair fall out in clumps.
Between the chemo treatments and the med's she was taking she was nauseous most all the time. We spent the next twelve months living day to day,not talking about the death sentence hanging over her head. Our life had been put on hold.
Over the next twelve months ,The Doctors tried different types of chemo formulas and finally informed us that none of the chemo treatments worked anymore.
Basically they gave up and sent her home to wait for her death. They hooked us up with Home Hospice and they took us under their wing and proceeded to help her understand what was coming.
It,the black cloud,her death took only six months to arrive.
Her health went down at a rapid rate.
Home Hospice provided two topical gels to be applied on her arms to help manage the pain.
I had to apply it to her lower arms wearing two pairs of surgical gloves to apply it. These two gels had a cost of --one at a cost of $425.00 (per week)--and one at a cost of $325.00 (per week).
Her weight went from a normal 125 lbs down to barely 80 pounds at time of her death.
She was a living skeleton covered in skin.
Her last three months she spent on the living room couch. She said she went to the bathroom,looked in the mirror and saw Death looking back at her. It scared her so much she was afraid to lay down in bed again.
So for the next three months she spent on the couch sleeping in a sitting position.
She spent her time napping or dully staring at the TV.
I did every thing in my power to do anything to make her comfortable and let her know how much she was loved and that I would be with her to the very end.
The last month of her life the cancer had eaten her body away from the inside and she was in a constant mind fog muddled from the pain meds given to her.
The last week of her life she no longer recognized her parents,no longer recognized any of her friends,and could not even recognize our three dogs or remember their names.
The last two days of her life her mind was gone. She just sat on the couch staring off into space.
The Home Hospice nurse dropped by for a visit,checked her vitals and said her time was very soon and told me to carry into her room and make her comfortable in her bed.
When I picked her up I was shocked at how lite she was. I carried her into the bedroom and placed her on the bed and stayed by her side for the few minutes it took her to zone out.
I spent the next day sitting by her bed,holding her hand and talking to her...reminiscing back about the ten years we had together. I do not know if she heard or understood a word I said but it helped me feel better bringing back all the good memories we had together.
She never spoke another word,never woke up. She was in a deep coma and breathing very slow.
My wife slipped from this world into the next at 3:33 am . Her last few minutes her breathing changed and she was like a clock winding down just as she breathed her last breath she gave my hand a soft squeeze and her hand slipped from mine.....
and she was gone.....
All I could do was sit there staring at her chest my mind screaming
"Come On! Breath ! Just one more!Please..you can't leave me yet please just one more breath!
That breath never came.
The Message of This Story!!!
Ladies (and Men) if you smoke and if you love your family,prove it...for them..Quit smoking!
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