I ran as fast as I could until I reached my home and when I did I ran to my room and shut the door. I was going crazy. Valerie… she was back…she was here. What would happen if my mom knew? I was leaning against the door when I heard a knock on my door.
“Hey Tim are you okay?” I heard my mom ask.
“Um, yea I’m fine mom.”
“Oh okay well I made lasagna, come eat.”
“Okay.” I said and checked myself on the mirror. I looked normal enough.
I went downstairs and got my plate and glass. I served myself some lasagna and some juice and then joined my mother.
“So how was your day?” My mom asked as she took a drink of your wine.
“It was interesting.”
“Really, how so?”
“I don’t know, I made a new friend.”
“Nice, girl or guy?”
“Boy he’s six years old.”
“Nice, how did you two become friends?”
“He hit me with his ball.”
“Mom?” I interrupted as I set the fork down.
“Yes?” My mom asked putting her fork down as well.
“Um can I ask you something?”
“What would you do if you saw Valerie again?”
“Tim, I’ve asked you not to speak of her.” My mom said as she stood up and went to the kitchen and served herself a drink of wine.
“But why not mom?”
“Because I don’t want to speak of her.”
“We have to speak of her eventually, we can’t just…”
“Yes we can!” my mom basically yelled at me and then stopped and calmed down.
“Look Timothy she made her decision, she had a choice and she choose to leave, it’s not like I don’t think if her or…”
“You dint follow her either mom, if you loved her you would have gone after her, fight for her!” I yelled at her.
“Timothy, do you think I did not love her, they say that if you love someone to let them go!” My mom yelled back.
“That is a bunch of bullshit!” I screamed and ran out of the door. I ran and ran not knowing where I was going until I reached Valerie’s house. I knew I could have gotten there in such a small time but I had ran around some of the city before ending at her place.
I didn’t know what I was doing, it was already dark and I didn’t see any lights on, well just a glow but for all I knew it was just a candle. I knocked though, I knocked lightly and didn’t expect anyone to come but just as I turned my back, the door opened.
“Timmy…” I heard Valerie say and I turned around.
We stared at each other and I could see that her eyes were red and puffy from crying. She was wearing some gym shorts and a tank top. We continued to stare at each other, we didn’t move or speak, and we just stood there. I must have gotten closer to her without my knowing because next thing I knew she was holding me as I cried.
We stood there hugging each other and crying, we cried and cried. I had missed her so much no matter the pain she had caused me or my mom I missed her and now she was here, she was holding me.
We finally pulled apart after a while more and we looked at each other and busted laughing.
“You look awful.” She said as she pulled me inside and lead me to the living room.
“You want something to drink?”
“Water is fine.”
“I’ll be right back.”
“So how have you been, how has Sam been?” Valerie asked as she gave me the water and sat down across from me.
“Good and okay I guess.”
“Yea.” I said looking at her and actually taking in her appearance. Her hair was much longer than before and her eyes looked sad, but she also looked thicker, but in a pretty way I guess you could say, I don’t know how to describe it.
“Why did you leave Valerie?” I asked as I looked at her with sad eyes.
Valerie stood up and put her legs under her as she sat back down. She looked down at her lap where her hands were. I could see her tears but I didn’t ask anything more, I waited.
“I don’t know Timmy, I was scared.”
“Scared of what?”
“Love Timmy…I was scared of love.”
Valerie took a deep breath before responding, “I was scared of loving your mom and then loving Alex.”
“But you had my mom, just like we planned, you two could be together.”
“It wasn’t that simple Timmy.”
“Because Timmy your mom was my first woman, and Alex…she was someone else. I just don’t know I guess I just needed more experience to actually know what I wanted in my life.”
“And what did you find out you wanted?”
“I wanted your mom in the end.”
“How did you come to that conclusion?”
“I’m not proud Timmy, I made mistakes until I found out what I wanted.”
“What kind of mistakes.”
“I…I slept around with women,” Valerie chuckled before continuing, “I even tried going back to men before realizing what I wanted.”
“I heard about Alejandro’s father…”
“He…he wasn’t a good man.”
“Are you okay?”
“I wasn’t Timmy, I am now.”
“Why did he…you know.” I said a bit uncomfortable but curious.
“He heard about my past, he was a good old American child who believed that men were the only ones who could please a woman, that woman could not love other woman. So he tried to make his point and he died.”
“How did he…”
“I killed him.” Valerie said in a way that made me change the subject.
“You know my mom is here.”
“I assumed she would be.”
“Do you want to see her?”
“I can’t, she wouldn’t want to see me, and I don’t want to hurt her that way Timmy.”
“What do you mean?”
“Timmy your mom has been hurt by me too much, I don’t want to hurt her anymore.”
“I heard that war is easy but love is hard.”
“Ha, where did you hear that?”
“I think I saw it in that lesbian movie my mom was watching one day.”
“You were watching it?”
“No I was just passing by.”
“Wow, they are both hard Timmy, too hard for me to understand.”
“Love isn’t easy Valerie, but you shouldn’t give up.”
“I know but I just…”
“Look Valerie, I loved you once as my mother, and I still do but I can not call you mom anymore, not after what happened, but I would love to again.”
“Timmy…” Valerie began to say as I stood up but I sopped her.
“Valerie if you really do love my mom, you should go see her, this is our address, I have to go now.” I said and handed her a piece of paper with my address. I gave her a hg and looked at her before walking out and heading home to where my mom was waiting for me and she looked…worried.
“Where have you been?”
“I took a walk.” I said and I looked at her as I sat down.
“I was worried about you.” She said a she stood up and walked to me giving me a hug. I hugged her back and just held on thinking about Valerie.
“Mom do you still love Valerie?”
“Mom please just be honest with me.”
“Yes I still love Valerie.” My mom said as she looked at me.
“Because I…” I never got to finish because at that moment we heard a knock and I went to open it and found Valerie and Alejandro standing there.
“Hey! Valerie…” I whispered her name in the end.
“Tim, who is it?” My mom asked as she came walking towards us. I grabbed Alejandro’s arm pulled him aside.
“What are you…” Alejandro began to say but I shut him up and pointed to his mom and mine. He looked at both of them and then made an o shaped shape with his mouth before understanding.
“Valerie…” My mom said as she looked at Valerie.
“Hey, I just…I wanted to see you.” Valerie said as she looked at my mom and I looked at both who were looking at us. I looked at Alejandro and decided to take him to my room.
How can I describe how I felt as I saw Valerie there? I mean I was happy and angry. I looked at Tim and knew that he had something to do with this but he left with the boy.
Once we were all alone I looked at Valerie and couldn’t help but think how beautiful she was. Her hair had grown and her body has become more full with more curves, but her eyes. Her eyes looked sad and happy as she looked at me.
“Um would…would you like to eat something.” I asked and then blushed realizing what I had just asked.
“No thanks, can I come in?”
“Yes, please.” I said as I looked at her and motioned for her to come in. we headed to the living room and sat down. I went to get some water and handed her a cup.
I sat next to her without thinking and looked at her but all she did was drink her water and look down.
I took a deep breath before speaking, “What are you doing here?”
“In Rome or your house?”
“I live in Rome and Timmy came to visit me and to talk with me.”
“You.” Valerie said as she looked up at me.
“No, Timmy made me think and I will leave in the end but first let me speak.”
“Okay, so I did hurt you in the beginning, I don’t deny it, you were nothing but a game. However, I did fall in love with you in the end but you left and I don’t blame you. However then when I found you again you were with someone else so Timmy and I made a plan to make you jealous and fall in love with me and it worked. But I began to fall for Alex too, and I have no idea why. Maybe because I wanted to explore my gay side, I mean I really don’t know but when you finally decided to take me back, to think of me… I was falling for someone else. So I ran Sam, I ran as far away as I could and ended up in Afghanistan. I slept with more women and even tried men again but I wasn’t happy. You had my heart in the end because not once did I think of Alex just you but I didn’t expect to ever see you again.”
“Look, I understand if you hate me and stuff but I just wanted you to know the truth.” Valerie said as she stood up and began to walk away. I sat there for a second before hearing Tim’s voice in my head about it being bullshit to just et your love go so I wouldn’t let her go…not this time.
I walked behind Valerie and grabbed her arm turning her around. I saw the tears in her eyes and wiped them away as I looked in her eyes. I didn’t kiss her I didn’t hug her or anything I just held her face between my hands and looked into her eyes before saying the words that sealed the deal.
“Just don’t break my heart again.” I said before I pulled her in my arms and hugged her feeling her tears and heart beating along with mine…together at last.
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