I remember that day I woke up expecting to find Max there but I never did, she had left me with a broken heart and all alone. Today was my wedding and I was thinking about my lesbian lover ha, I wonder what my fiancée would think about that. I honestly didn’t care, he was the closest thing that reminded me of Max, so I accepted his proposal after all when I asked for her she never came. I’m going to tell you what happened that day and summarize the next two years until now.
It felt nice lying in bed after some amazing sex I could have laid there forever. I turned around searching for Max but she was gone. I really wasn’t afraid or anything at that moment I thought that maybe she went to get breakfast or spend time with Jennifer.
So I guess you could say that I didn’t think that she was gone. I didn’t think she would abandon me like that, I just expected her to come back. When I saw the note in the kitchen counter I just thought that she wrote where she was going to so I went to shower and once I had showered and come out I finally read the note.
I know that you will probably hate me, but I… we need space. I never lied about being in love with you, I am in love and always will be. Please don’t hate me I wasn’t using you. I guess I just wanted our last time to be together memorable. I’m leaving but I will wait for you to show me your commitment. I know that you desire men but I won’t deal with that. When you find out whom it is you really and truly want ask Nicolai for a way to contact me. However, if you never want to see me again I will understand. Just know that I will always carry you in my heart. I love you Natalie.
Sincerely with love,
I can’t fully remember what happened I think I fainted and passed out. However instead of waking up in the kitchen I woke up in a hospital bed. My parents were there as well as Robert and the police. I guess you could imagine that I was the center of attention for a while before they concluded that I really had no clue where they had gone. I finished the last two years of high school but hell they weren’t easy.
Now that I think about it, I think I was the slut of the school for running off with the lesbian and in the end being left. I began to cut at night and just lay on my balcony remembering her touches. I enjoyed feeling the pain of the blade on my skin it took me away from the pain in my heart.
I would go to the library and just sit against all the pillows remembering her cheesy words and phrases. I became too thin losing my luscious body and I really didn’t care. There were times when a guy would try to flirt with me and I accepted it, cherishing the fact that someone actually wanted me. I would fuck the guy and in the end leave him with his pants down while I walked away. I guess I just wanted to hurt them like she hurt me.
It wasn’t until almost a year and a half had passed that Jeffrey moved into town. He was athletic with short black hair. He had ark brown eyes and best of all he was a guy. He was so alike Maxine and yet so different. When Jeffrey first met me he wasn’t judgmental or anything like that he was geeky and kind but appeared to be athletic and stupid like any other jock.
He would come to the library and just sit there talking to me not caring that I gave him the evil eye or that I would listen to music. It wasn’t until school almost ended that he talked to me about my cuts.
“You know you shouldn’t do that.”
“It scars your beautiful skin.”
“You don’t talk much do you?”
“No not really.”
“I heard that you weren’t always like this.”
“No I wasn’t.”
“My lesbian lover left me.”
“I’m sorry, don’t you think that’s good though?”
“Why the hell would that be good?”
“So that you can be loved by God and marry a good man.”
“Ha like who, you?”
“Well yea why not?”
“You’re a pussy.”
“Look Jeffrey it’s nice that you take your time to be here but I love her and she loves me too.”
“Why isn’t she here then.”
“I don’t know.”
“She doesn’t love you.”
“You don’t know that.” I said through my teeth.
“Then why isn’t she sitting here by your side?”
“Because… because she can’t.”
“I have no idea just leave me the fuck alone.” I said as I began to run off but he grabbed my arm and turned me around so I could face him. He asked me on a date and I agreed. Why you might ask, well I wanted to fuck him and hurt him. I wanted to make him feel the pain she made me feel.
So that’s how it happened, after a while we dated and no matter how many times I hurt him he was always there. It was kind off freaky but he helped me turn back to who I was. I stopped cutting a little bit but at one point I always did it again just to forget about her touches.
When he touched me I felt repulsion but I was going to swallow it. I guess in a way I sort off felt that I needed him to better and if I left I imagined I would die. So that’s how it went we dated until graduation where he asked for my hand in front of the entire town. I said yes and I remembered seeing my parents smiling and cheering.
It felt nice to see them so happy so I stayed until now on my wedding. I am eighteen and am about five hours to getting married. I was ready or so I thought until I saw someone standing by my door someone I thought I would never see again. Even tough it wasn’t the sister I loved I was happy to see her.
“Hey.” Jennifer said as she blushed.
“What are you doing here, is she…” I didn’t get a chance to finish because she gave me a hug and shook her head.
“I heard about your wedding from Robert and I came to congratulate you.”
“Thank you, does she know?”
“Why didn’t she come?”
“She didn’t want to run your life again.”
“I still love her Jennifer I would leave if she was here I would.”
“I know sweetie.”
“Why didn’t she come back when I asked her too, when I needed her?”
“You never called.”
“Woo what’s wrong?”
“Don’t tell me I didn’t call because I did more than once, but every time Nicolai would tell me that she didn’t want me anymore but I kept calling.”
“That’s not true Nicolai told us you never even called and that you were dating a guy, so I called Robert and he said it was true and that you were getting married. Natalie Max has been a mess.”
“And you think I haven’t?”
“You don’t look like it.”
“Yea well you can’t always see the truth.” I said as Jennifer finally saw my scars.
“Use your imagination Jennifer, why do you think.”
“My God Natalie who knows about it?”
“I have to tell Max.”
“No if she didn’t want me when I called Nicolai then I don’t want you telling her anything.”
“Natalie you don’t get it he said that you never called.”
“He wouldn’t do that.”
“Oh really then what’s this?” I asked as I handed her my phone where she noticed all the calls I had and never erased.
“But…but why would he do this?”
“Lie to Max.”
“What do you mean?”
“He showed Max pictures of you and Jeffrey and always said you didn’t call, he lied about you not caring.”
“Why would he…”
“Oh my god!”
“What?” I asked getting scared and mad.
“He was trying to separate you two, he wanted to protect her from your cheating but he did wrong.”
“What do you mean?”
“He thought he was doing good but he hasn’t. Natalie Max has been getting into some bad crowds and she’s been getting worse thinking that you chose men over her.”
“I have to get to her and tell her the truth.”
“Wait Natalie what the hell are you talking about?”
“She has to know that you still love her.”
“Because she’s about to marry some stranger that she is just choosing to close the feelings and pain.”
“Wait you’re telling me she’s marrying a stranger?”
“No buts Natalie I have to go and stop the wedding as well as confront Nicolai.” Jennifer said as she started to walk off but before she could I grabbed her arm and stopped her.
“I’m going too.”
“Natalie what about you’re…”
“Nothing matters, I know that it wasn’t her fault. Max loves me, Nicolai was the one who twisted with my brains and I won’t let him do it anymore. I’m going with you Jennifer, it’s time to safe my princess and time to kick Nicolai’s ass for cheating me from my happiness.”
I let go off Jennifer’s hand and watched as she looked at me strangely before she gave me a smile and a nod. I was ready to go get my girl and there was nothing anyone could do to stop me, nothing.
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