“Where the hell have you been?” I screamed at her as she ran up the stairs.
“Nowhere get out of my fucking business.”
“Jennifer please come down here we need to talk." Robert called out.
“No!” Jennifer yelled as she slammed her door. I walked upstairs and started banging on the door.
“Jennifer, open the fucking door”
“Please can you open the door?” I asked as I calmed down.
“I need to talk to you.” I said as I leaned my head against the door both my hands on each side of my head.
“Where were you this afternoon?”
“I was out Max, leave me alone.”
“With my friends, can you leave me alone now?”
“No why were your clothes all…” I began to say but at that moment she opened the door and pulled me inside.”
“Okay what the hell do you want to know Max? Did I fuck a guy, well yes I did; did I get drunk, yes I did that too; did I see your phone calls and text messages I did see them and I ignored them all because I’m tired of being treated like a fucking baby.”
“Well I wouldn’t treat you that way if you didn’t act like one.”
“Who the hell are you to be treating me like one then?”
“I’m your sister! You know we’re this thing called family, twins does any of this ring a bell?”
“That’s it you are my sister not my fucking mother so why can’t you just leave me alone?”
“Because I care or you is that too hard to see?” I asked as I felt the tears wanting to break out.
“Yes actually it is if you cared for me you wouldn’t be yelling at me.”
“Then don’t do anything that is fucking stupid like oh I don’t know getting drunk on the first day of school not to mention having sex!”
“You act like you haven’t done anything with Natalie you probably already fucked her didn’t you?”
“You know what, not every girl out there is a slut and not everyone who is attracted have sex. You should know by now that I respect women more than that.” I said as I began to really get mad.
“You act like you’re a fucking saint Max but you aren’t, you are a dyke and you want to know what happens to dykes, they burn in hell! Oh but wait you’re also trying to act like my fucking mother but guess what Max she is dead so there is no reason for you to be acting like if you were her. You know what I don’t even know why I wanted you to be with me in the same place, everyone sees that as a joke, who you are, is ruining my life. I wish you had never found this place so that we could be separated.
Hey that hurt a lot but at least I’m proud to say that I didn’t cry in front of her. I looked at her, into her eyes; maybe it was because she was drunk and she was acting stupid, I honestly didn’t know. I looked and realized that behind all her words and the tears in her eyes and anger I saw a bit of truth there and I can’t deny that I felt like a demon was in my soul and was clawing its way out of me. I looked at her for a little bit longer as my ears sucked in the words she had said to me and memorized them. I left her room without shedding a single tear but I did leave a sad smile behind. I passed Robert on my way down the stairs and just walked out into the darkness.
I walked into the depths of the dark forest. I hadn’t cried yet but I felt like dying. The trees seemed to be laughing at me as I walked past them. Everything seemed to come alive only to torture me even more. The wind blew against me making me want to just fall onto my knees and cry. The trees, as I said before, were laughing swaying back and forth as if they were just happy and high. The moon shined bright above me making me realize that the darkness still had its light but I seemed to have lost my light.
I walked and walked until once again I came upon the waterfall. That’s when I let it all out again my screaming and my tears. I fell onto my knees and cried in sorrow, I knew that for now I had lost my sister. I saw as my tears were mixing with the water, it made me think of how many people cry and it seems that it no longer matters that one gets hurt now, the tears just disappear among the crowd. I don’t know what got into me but I walked towards the water and laid upon it. I didn’t care about my clothes I didn’t care about anything at that moment I just wanted to be part of the water so I laid there just floating on my back. My eyes were growing heavy and I think I must have closed them. I have no clue but before the darkness did envelope me in the end I remembered the conversation I had with Jennifer the first time that I realized I was gay.
I came home crying, my uncle had no clue what to say so he left me alone, but my sister came into my room. To be honest I think that was the only time she has acted like my older sister.
“Hey Maxine what’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I said as I kept crying.
“Baby, tell me what’s wrong.”
“I found out something bad.”
“What did you find out?”
“I'm... I’m gay.” I said as I cried even more hell I think I was sobbing to be exact.
“What’s wrong with that?”
“I‘m going to hell.”
“No you are not.”
“How can you possibly know that?”
“I know because you are amazing, you are kind and you have always taken care of me when I felt sad. You are an angel Maxine and it doesn’t matter who you love. You are a good person and I know that even though people may judge you, you will always have me by your side. I will never turn my back on you because you are my twin sister and no one can ever change the love we have no matter how different we are.”
I remember that I looked at her crazy and then hugged her in happiness but I continued to sob because my sister loved me how I was and no one was going to change that no one.
But I was wrong and today the present has proved that to me, Jennifer didn’t keep her promise and that has left a big hole in my heart so big that I don’t think I could ever be truly happy again. Anyways that was my last memory before the darkness consumed my thoughts. If you looked at me you would see me slowly disappearing in the water the moonlight shining over me as the darkness surrounded me.
© Copyright 2016 dlaura69. All rights reserved.
Poem / Poetry
Poem / Poetry
Poem / Poetry
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