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Comments: 11

EX0L8: The Experiment A novel by DracoWyrm/Blake D. Price

I don't remember my name, or what life was like before... the lab. What I do remember, was the kidnapping. I remember it was cold, and raining hard. I was with several girls and guys, probably 'freinds'. That is, if the definition of 'freind' is someone who will leave and run away while you get kidnapped.

We had been walking to... somewhere when the black vans showed up. I remember tire screeching, a terrifying sound that haunts me still. Doors opened and slamed, pounding feet thundered as men in black grabbed a hold of me and began to drag me to their cars. I remember vauge fury when my 'freinds' began to run for their lives, abandoning me. The last thing I remember is a sweet scent filling my nose, and then nothing.

A few hours later...

I wake up in a tank, terrified. A strange, thick liquid surrounds me, and I hold in the urge to scream. Various lab workers are observing me, and I shudder, feeling vulerable dispite the reassuring feeling of my clothes. Suddenly, I feel a terrible burning pain, as my skin feels as though it is bubbling, and my vision begins to blur, and I slump forward, arlarms begin to blare and men begin shouting. Everything blacks out.

The Director looks down on the sprawled, helpless girl, a deep frown on his face.

"Is she still alive?" He asks in a deep, commanding voice.

"Yes sir, but she's weak. Her genes rejected the modifications. We don't know how."

The Director nods breifly.

"That is surprising. Very rare. Once she has recovered, try again. And one more thing. The military team is NOT to touch her. Or else." As the lab assistant leaves,the Directorkneels down next to the girl and whispers,

"Don't worry, my pet. They'll not touch you. Ever."

Submitted: September 19, 2012

© Copyright 2023 DracoWyrm. All rights reserved.


Add Your Comments:



Really good... Please keep it going.

Thu, September 20th, 2012 8:02am


I will! Thanks for reading!

Thu, September 20th, 2012 3:37am

Yume chan

Hey there^^ Blake. Well since I cannot read on where I left of with other novel I thought I'd start reading this one :) its a very good start you've got. Leaves one wondering why they are doing those things to the poor girl and also has one feeling sorry for her. Like how you use first persone when she is awake, but as soon as she faints you use third person. Grammar wise also good. I'll read on as it has me interested. Has lots of chapters I have to catch up with though^^ good job, keep it up :)

Tue, March 12th, 2013 5:11pm


glad to hear you like it!

Tue, March 12th, 2013 3:15pm


Great start! I started my novel Master of Illusions off with a short, attention grabbing chapter like this too; I'll keeping reading this.

Sun, March 17th, 2013 10:40pm

Embrace the Weirdness

Hey. I think this prologue is pretty good for a prologue, it's a little short, but I think you obviously made it that way. Nice start.

Mon, April 22nd, 2013 9:19pm


This sounds like it's going to be great! Just fix those grammatical errors, it kind of distracts the reader from the point.

Wed, April 24th, 2013 1:06pm


Very nice, you've kept the action focused and it draws you in quickly. Very good way to get people interested in your novel.

Sat, April 27th, 2013 6:08pm


Wow really liked it and it's totally my genre i will have to read more.

Mon, April 29th, 2013 6:09pm


Why thank you, hope you enjoy the read!

Mon, April 29th, 2013 2:23pm


Awesome! I've never read anything like it :)

Sat, May 4th, 2013 5:32pm


It is worth reading :)

Wed, May 8th, 2013 2:11pm

Kayvon Paul

this is going to be a great story!!

Wed, May 8th, 2013 7:52pm

Kayvon Paul

this is going to be a great story!!

Wed, May 8th, 2013 7:52pm

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