His arms were wrapped around me his chest pressed against my back our legs tangled together and his lips at my ear. “I love you more than anything, more than my heart can contain. Sometimes I think I’m going to explode” his words made me chuckle “please don’t” I murmured turning up to see his big blue eyes shining right into mine. “I think loving you would be the best way to die” He said. But before I could protest his soft lips found mine and I found myself lost in his arms.
My eyes fluttered open and for one beautiful split second I forgot. I forgot everything, for one second the world was how it should be and he wasn’t gone. Until reality came back to me and the hole in my chest opened again.
I swung my feet out of my bed and felt the cold prick my legs. I lifted the shirt I slept in every night over my head and brought it to my nose. The smell was fading; it almost didn’t smell like him anymore. Like everything else it was becoming a memory.
I carefully folded the shirt and stuffed it under my pillow. I grabbed my towel and made my way to the bathroom.
Once the water hit me, I crumpled against the shower wall and let the tears fled. I didn’t realise how long I was in there until my sister jade knocked on the door “uh... Mia! Are you almost done...uh please?” I stop the shower. Two weeks ago before everything changed she would’ve banged as hard as she could and yell multiple swear words and insults at me. But now like everyone else she tiptoes around me trying not to hurt my feelings. I wish she wouldn’t.
I wish he was here.
I wrap the towel around me and open the door. Jade’s standing there with a pity look in her eye. “uh… thanks” she mumbles before running in the bathroom and swinging the door shut.
After changing in jeans and a t-shirt I make my way to the kitchen or as I soon realise into an ambush.
“Hi honey” my mum practically sighs wearing the same look jade had not moments ago. “Hi” I say as I sit onto the chair across from dad. “Sweetie we need to talk to you about something” My mum says while placing a plate filled with bacon and eggs and a tall glass of orange juice in front of me. Oh no this is going to be bad I know it. Bacon and eggs on a school morning. This only happens when my parents have bad news. Like when our dog died or when we found out grandma had dementia. “Mm mm” I mumble as I take a sip of the orange juice. “We’re worried about you Mia” dad starts “ever since Nathan... um... Past. You’ve been… not yourself.” I jumped when I heard his name and just like that, the hole in my chest ached. “It’s only been two weeks dear, maybe you should take some time off” mum said. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing; it was the first day of school. My parents would never let me skip a day off school especially the first. “Are you kidding?” I scoffed. My parents looked frazzled. “No dear” my dad said cautiously. “We’re worried about you.” “Well don’t be” I said rising from the table “I’m fine, okay everything’s fine.” “You’re not fine.” My mum said also raising her voice. “Your boyfriend died exactly two weeks ago and your acting like nothing happened! No, you’re acting like a zombie! You’ve been the perfect Daughter, coming home straight after school, always studying in your room; you don’t even go out anymore!” “That’s a problem?” I ask. “Yes” mum breaths lowering her voice “it is.” I didn’t know what to say. My parents have been here this whole time trying to get closer to me trying to help me throughout this “tragic time of my life” but I didn’t want to hear it. I didn’t need their help. I didn’t need anything. I just needed Nathan.
“I’m going to be late.” I say just loud enough for them to hear me. Then I grab my bag and fly out of the door, before they could stop me.
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