1…My Name Is
Magic isn’t real when it is on the T.V because they use special effects. Magic isn’t real when you go to a show in Las Vegas because they have all there little tricks hiding right up there sleeves. Magic is only real when it is in your mind, full of various bright colors and figures. Magic is only real, when you believe it to be real.
My name is Kalie Jonesey Mirramount. My real name is Carlina Jannis Mirramount. I have no idea who names there child Carlina Jannis Mirramount, but I guess the two folks that I call my parents do. I am 14 and since I have been given a name that doesn’t really suit me in the slightest; I have decided that I haven’t the choice but to change my name. Now I am Kalie Jonesey Mirramount. I realize that I have been neglecting to tell the rest of the world about my new name, but that is only because I lack the social skills that one would need to inform others about something as important as a name change.
I will forever be known as the girl who doesn’t talk much. The girl who is overly shy. So for now, I will be keeping my new name to my self…In this world at least.
I do have a father, and I do have a mother. They have bared another daughter other than me who they say is my sister. Agnus is her name. I almost feel sorry that they gave her the name Agnus, which is far worst of a name than mine, but I can’t feel sorry for her. Not ever. If I was to live in a household were things were at a normal point and it seemed as if my family/ sister cared for me, then I very well might possibly feel sorry for my sister having the name Agnus. For now though, I just go on believing that she lives in the same house as me, but shares none of the same blood I do. It is a lot easier to believe that than to believe she really does have any blood relation to me. They want me to be perfect all the time, my family. That is why I think I get the feeling I don’t belong in THIS world. I have lost all ability to feel sorry for my family members when they whine about all the day to day tasks they have to complete.
Mom, if you choose to be a stay at home mother, than please, don’t complain about having to watch after two girls and clean up all the time. Father, if your going to stay a physiatrist, then don’t whine about always having to work all the time and such late hours. And sister, if you’re going to be all girly and prissy and date all the boys you can and wear lots of make up and be dumb and annoying, and lots of stupid thing, then please, just leave this house and go whine about not owning enough cloths to some other sorry soul.
I imagine everyone spends some time or another staying in a place they do not want to be. I imagine some people are forced to spend a majority of time in a place they do not want to be. I feel like if I don’t day dream, and believe in magic...If I do not close my eyes to see colors and shapes, then I would just be dreaming in boring black and white images all the time. This is why I can no longer stay the Carlina Jannis that I was, and I must reinvent my self.
Kalie Jonesey Mirramount… Kalie Jonesey Mirramount… Kalie Jonesey Mirramount. I am writing this name over and over again in my head. I write this name because it has a nice ring to it. I’m dipping my small wooden paintbrush into my pink paint puddle I have created on the floor next to me and am writing this name all over these stone walls. I have pink paint dripping all over the place and creeping down both my hands, making a mess of my arms and knees. I love the feeling of the cold, wet paint. I love the feeling of not having to wash it off and I can just let it stay there. If this wasn’t my own world, I would be sent straight to the bathroom to soak my hands in water and then be scolded for being so absurd. My mother does not like pink paint. She does not like any kind of paint. I am not aloud to paint in the real world so I smile at way I move my brush with out being told what to do I’m MY world.
I am painting my 4th flower next to the 5th creation of my new name. The flowers suit my name. The color suits my name. This is Kalie’s cave now. In the real world, I am still known as Carlina Jannis, but in my world? I AM Kalie Jonesey Mirramount.
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