The Place Where I Don't Belong

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic

This a story based on my own experience in a place that I feel that I don't belong. Names have been changed to avoid repercussions, and it will most likely be somewhat difficult to read, because I plan to dive deep into my own mind to bring you this story, (and my mind can be a very scary place!) But anyway, if you read this, I only have a couple of things to ask of you all. Don't judge, and don't ask me to disclose any information about actual names or places. With that being said, please enjoy what is my most recent experience in life:)

Chapter 1 (v.1) - The Place Where I Don't Belong

Submitted: April 18, 2013

Reads: 191

Comments: 1

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Submitted: April 18, 2013



The Place Where I Don't Belong

Chapter 1: Arrival

I sat in the back seat of the car, thinking about how drastically my life would change. I look at the scenery around me. The trees, the river that I had grown accustomed to seeing when I walked out my door in the morning. Damn I would miss it. I told myself I was doing it for a good reason. I thought it would help me find work, become a more respectable person, but I was wrong. But I'm ahead of myself. Out the window, I notice the clouds had turned a dark grey. The scenery above me was heavy with warning. The foreboding of the sky seemed to be making the heavens themsels bow under its weight.

I sat quiety, barely speaking a word, having said my goodbyes to freinds and family, I was ready to say goodbye to the old me. My parents and I stayed one night with some relatives, my aunt and uncle. A few beers calmed my nerves for the moment, but did nothing for the sickeningly strong headache that seemed to center itself over my right brow.  I didn't show it. Worry was not the last feeling I wanted to leave my family with.

The next morning I woke up. The headache was still going strong, stronger even. I shook it off as I pulled the covers off of me, and pulled a cigarette out my pack. As the flame engulfed the end of that cigarette, I remember thinking nothing of it. It was just another lit deathstick. I smoked, puffing it down quicker than ever before. The stress showing more and more with each puff I added to the already accumulating cloud. I finished and proceeded up the small steps to the kitchen, seeing the dog, Frank, an adorable dog, strong even in old age. I had known that dog for years, and now more than any other time, I needed as many friendly faces as possible.

I stumbled into the kitchen, also clouded with smoke. My aunt and uncles' doing. I payed no mind to it, and smiled at my last favorable meal, and nodded at the group of mismatched, yet somehow care-free friends and family seated around the small, wooden table, eating happily. I took my place among them, and ate quiety, shy and lost inside my own mind. not sure what to say about the the events of late. I knew little to nothing about the place I was going, other than the fact that I was going to be living with people worlds apart from what I'm used to.

I ate, enjoyed a cup of coffee, and then, before I could even whipe my mouth or lick my lips, I was out the door, and back in the car, making the final stretch to the place where my life would change. I looked up at the sky again, and it appeared to be bowing so low, that I could touch it. I didn't try of course, but along with sky, my heart began to sink. It took about two hours before we pulled onto the campus. A small stretch of road enclosed on either side by buildings and cars patrolling. Immediately it felt like a prison. I wanted out then, but I didn't want to dissappoint my family. I stepped out of car, and went around to get the luggage that I had brought with me.

The luggage seemed heavier now, as though it had absorbed some foreboding from the sky, which was damn near on my head at this point. I smiled, despite my feeling of woe. my parents helped me carry my bags into the dorm. Dorm 18. The lesser of evils at the time, and room 18, where my parents and I met my first roomate. Axel Thorbe. It was an odd name, but nothing I had never heard before. I introduced myself to the man, or, child if you focus more on his mentality than his age. I stood, hand outstretched toward him. He took it, and shook firmly, stating his name. "My name is Jimmy Ira." I replied We didn't say much to each other after that, and he simply left me to relax and take in the environment. I walked out before long to smoke a cigarette, handing them out like candy when I got out there. The smoking area was a sight to behold. The cement pad, as well as the ground around was peppered with cigarette butts. Spit on the ground everywhere. It was disgusting. I lit the cigarette, and as I watched flame engulf the end of the cigarette like I had done a thousand times before, I couldn't help but identify with it. We were both burning now. Little did I know by the end of my stay in this place, I would be burning much hotter than any cigarette. I was in hell. The arrival was seamless, but the stay will leave an unmistakable print on my soul.

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