Its a strange thing, hindsight. You could of kept estranged friend A in hindsight, you could of said so much more to forgotten lover number 1 in hindsight. But thats the thing, its too late and the time has passed to build any bridges.
I’m on the train, back home for the first time in thirty-seven years and I am terrified to say the least. Too many mixed emotions. Chris had phoned me up, it must of taken him ages and said:
“Danny, hey Dan! It’s been ages buddy, a few of the old group are getting together for Laura’s birthday. She’d love it if you came, I know it.”
Not to be cruel, I love Chris and I love Laura but the last time I saw her was during a book signing back in the ‘20s and I completely blew her off. She gave me her life story in under a minute and that was the last I saw of Laura.
Chris I saw a few years later, he’d struck lucky and won tickets to the movie premier of one of my films. He had wanted to sit next to me but I had already had seats reserved next to friends that existed in my life at the moment.
I was clawing at my brain, my old and aging brain for some recollections of the past. So maybe I could talk to them about something. And it all came back to me one night. So much so I was in tears. The epic love stories I could of written for Lisa at the time, the level of hatred I felt for so many people and the enormous distance I forged between myself and the people that loved me. And that is why I’m writing this I guess. So that somewhere in a few thousand years someone will dig a copy of this up and know we existed, know that me and my friends were people with lives.
The year was 2007 and I was fifteen. It was my first day going to this rock club thing, The Hive, or something horribly titled like that. I was with Chris and Laura. She has never aged for me, she
will always be that shy pigtailed girl with no sense of direction, Laura had more paths in her life than most and she threw it all away on some rebel drunk wife beater, she had two of his kids and
spent five years raising them before he topped himself in a garage.
Chris has always changed through the years and I can’t quite remember if what I can recall of him is complete fact or total fiction, he’s just become one of my characters. He has gray hair now, be he didn’t when we were fifteen. It was brown I think, or black. Thats right it was black. We were all dressed horrifically, I wore some sort of cap I liked at the time. A pair or checked shoes and a pair of baggy jeans that were torn at the bottom I believe.
What the others wore I can’t recall, lets say Laura was wearing a red t-shirt and tight fitting jeans and Chris was standing out like he always loved to.
The music was loud and sounded the same to me. But I was enjoying myself. Chris was showing off his popularity by talking to everyone, the regulars. Laura was getting eyed up by boys dressed just as shamefully as myself.
I received no attention, I wasn’t shy by any means and I’m still not and I was definitely making an effort to be noticed. But to no real avail.
“Drinks anyone?” I piped up between songs and both of my friends nodded in confirmation. I always had more money on them, I always brought a spare fiver just incase, and the water provided at these sort of venues always puts me off. So I ordered three cokes and made my way back towards my friends on the dance floor when, WHACK.
Someone had bumped straight in to me sending my beverages flying. Normally I would of went off the wall, screamed and shouted demanded the money for those drinks. But when I regained my sense I
looked upon the single most attractive creature I have, to this day, laid my eyes on. Her face was small and round and she had big brown eyes and brown hair straightened to her shoulders length.
She wore a black and white striped t-shit and an abomination of a skirt, orange and black if I remember like some rejected halloween costume from the 1980’s. She smiled at me blinked and walked off
in the direction she came as quick as lightning. I stood, gaping for a minute. And that.
That was the first time I saw Lisa Hardy.
The days that followed were filled with excitement. Who was this girl? What was her name (I obviously didn’t know at the time)? What school did she go to?
I scanned the school photo, my parents insisted on buying it. It was huge and took me ages to find her, she looked nice. She wore the same smile she had shot me on Saturday evening and wore our school uniform. White shirt, black skirt and the wasp like yellow and black tie. So I knew what school she went to at least. Mine! Things had just gotten a lot easier. judging from where she was standing she was only a year younger than I was too, so certain circles might mix. The likelihood that I would see her again, even talk to her, was growing and growing.
My head was swimming with emotion, I had never felt like this before! I had had girl friends in the past. Real nice girls that I’d known for ages before asking them out, but I had never ever felt
this level of emotion with them. I pulled down a jigsaw puzzle and started to piece it together, it was huge five thousand piece I think, a whale or a shark or something sea dwelling. I needed
something to get her out of my head....
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