Oh dear ocean won't you be my friend?
Everything had boiled down to this last moment of brutality... Death is a sharp final last word that is so quick, it cuts through your ears. It causes the sound of beautiful life to disperse and come to a halt, replacing it only with the sound of cruel laughter ringing within your brain. This is what I use to think at least but now the word brings nothing, except silence to my ears. I realize now it is the sound of ever-lasting tranquility. Never cut short by life’s harsh reality. I suppose death is like a dream that goes on forever. No matter how hard your body tries to wake you up, your mind resists. Forever you shall lie without doubts, fears, regrets, and downfall. Forever floating in a world of happy lulled sleep.
I’m not scared of dying anymore like I use to be, now I welcome death like an old friend I haven’t seen in years. See when everything in your life begins to crumple around you and you have nothing left to lose anymore, death doesn’t seem to be the villain. Death actually comes to look like the hero, trying to save you from your misery and all the pain that this life has brought to you.
It feels like it’s been an eternity since I’ve actually laughed. The dull pain of the knife plunging in and out of my heart has resided by now, so I can finally almost feel the fresh air in my lungs again. Except for the constant reminder I have to live with everyday, for the crimes I’ve committed. I never knew what I was getting into when I met him. I never knew that he could make me feel like a whole new person and bring back the joy in my life. Of course all fairy tales must come to an end at some point, unfortunately mine happened to end a little sooner than I had originally planned.
I’ve tried so hard to look past all the cracks and faults that this life holds, but it’s too much to cope with. I know now that things can never change and the memories I hold can never be erased. I still have a tight grip on all the memories from that faithful night. Perfect images still flash through my head whenever I look at the ocean. One of the first real things I ever loved has betrayed me in its own way, for it has taken the one person that meant everything to me away. Now as I sit here on this sandy beach I realize what I must do. It all must end, for a new beginning to start. All the clear edges of the world have to fade away just as of an old movie. I must not leave a trace of the crimes I have committed here.
I stand up on my feet and begin to walk towards the ocean. I can feel the sand scrunch between my toes with each step I take. I’ve always loved that feeling of sand between my toes, once I leave this place though I shall never feel it again. I look behide me noticing my footprints, they will be washed away by the waves soon enough. They are the only thing that exists in this second of time proving that I really existed here on Earth. The sun is already starting to droop under the horizon as the sky is painted with a bright orange fire. I smile to myself thinking back to how he said the sun was created by the sky painters.
They would sit up in the sky all day bored out of their minds waiting for something to do. Then when they knew the sun was going to be rising, or falling soon, they would jump up at the opportunity and begin to paint the sky, a massive amount of colors. They'd paint hues of oranges, violets, grays and sometimes even a faint grayish blue. Although one day he believed that the sun would not rise as it would not fall. A day of dark would fall upon our world shielding us from the suns gorgeous rays. That would be the day the sky painters fall from the heavens and plunge into the ocean. He said they would be paying for not keeping their promise of always painting the sky, but the king of the sea would grant them a bargain. The king of the sea would toss them back up to the sky only if they can paint the sea as many wondrous colors as they had the sky. If not the sea king reasoned, they shall be his prisoners forever painting the sea in death.
Although when he said it he made the story sound more beautiful and tragic then I could ever make it sound. Those times are gone now, so I must forget them all and only think of my new life residing in the ocean. My feet creep towards the edge of the sand where the ocean and sand meet. Waves ripple over my feet as the tide begins to wash in towards the shore. In a matter of minutes the tide will consume me and I shall be with him. I close my eyes and feel at peace with the world, as the coldness of the ocean sweeps over me. Reaching higher up my body until it is up to my waist. My mind traces back to all the anger I’ve bottled up inside for my own mistakes and all the pain I have caused.
I open my mouth and allow a scream to fill my lungs as they try to make sense, of the burning sensation in them. The water is up to my chin now as it is beginning to fill my nostrils. My scream is only a gurgle and I can feel myself drifting far, far away. Into a place we shall be together once more. Where there are no boundaries or restrictions lie to hurt us, just him and me within the sea. Forever in his arms as the sirens of the sea hum our sweet melody.
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