Shit I thought to myself as I heard the door open. Mom had gotten home early from school. The teacher meeting must have ended early. I quickly exited out of the porn I was watching and zipped up my pants. I was luckily because I heard her enter the bathroom in our apartment. That meant I could also delete the history. So quickly, I did, and went into my cell to hide away from her.
After we moved from the country and forty acres of property to this little apartment I had a strong dislike for my mother. She was always at home making noise and that is why my bedroom is called a cell. I can hide from the fucking vacuum cleaner that’s going all the time. At the worst of times she would get going the vacuum cleaner, the television, and some oldies music from her day and age going all at once.
For now though, that sick feeling that I had not gotten everything off from the internet consumed my stomach making me feel sick. I wanted to curl up and die. I really had thought I would have time to get off before my mother would get home. I hated the fact that I was stuck in this room. There was no where else to go. I didn't want to look at my mom. And I couldn't go adventure off in the woods alone with nothing but a shaggy dog. I was completely stuck in this stupid apartment awaiting for something exciting to happen. However the wrong excitement consumed me when my mom hollered now from the computer room, “Jason, what the hell is this on the computer?”
I replied innocently like I had been just reading or studying in my room, “I don't know, what did you find?”
“Come here and look.” she said not giving a break in her terrifying tone of voice.
“What?” I said aggravated that she had been disturbing my “studying” time.
I walked in to see a video begin to play. My heart sunk thinking I had not deleted something from a while back when I was watching video porn instead of just picture files. Luckily it was just a video my brother Garret and I had made a while back of him drinking Vodka in his bedroom. I sort of chuckled to myself in relief as my mom had gone on to blabber something like, “ I don't appreciate having these videos on the internet...”
I interrupted asking her where she found them on the internet because I knew that she had not meant to say internet. I questioned, “Oh, they were on the internet?”
Confused by the interruption, “Yah, I just showed it to you.”
I replied, “Yah, but it wasn't on the internet.”
“Ugh, yah it is. It is right here.”
Getting aggravated at my moms stupidity, “Well log onto the internet and find it there then.”
She replied, “I don't mean the internet, I mean the ugh, ugh, ugh...”
Finishing her sentence for her in hopes to end this pain, “The desktop.”
She replied, “Yah, you knew what I meant anyways. I could get in trouble for having these videos on here if a federal investigator came here. I am a teacher.”
I was not impressed by her come back and just brushed it off, “Ok, ugh hah sure. I'm going back to my room to do homework.”
“I am serious Jason.” she failed at threatening me.
At this point she had gotten really annoying. I didn't even know that video was ever put on the computer in the first place. It wasn't even mine. I wasn't even the one being stupid in the video. And I highly doubted that anyone would care to come into this little shit hole apartment and look through the computer.
I thought this was going to be originally about the gay boy porn I had been looking at just five minutes ago. And if anyone did decide to come through they would be more concerned about that considering my mother was a teacher. But I would totally take credit for watching it if it had ever come to that. I have to much of a terrible conscious to let my mom be put away for something I had done over and over again. Something so revolting and disgusting. Though it always felt so good. But so wrong at the same time to me. I didn't know why I was attracted to the same sex. I had been doing girly things ever since I was five. So with this I felt my first swear word in front of my mother would be appropriate, “It's not even my fucking video. It is Garrets. Why don't you call him and tell him to take it off from there instead of getting on my case about it?”
Garret had been in boot camp in the Marines for about two months now. I was happy he was gone seen we always use to fight about everything. Usually we would get into huge battles and I would somehow end up in the bathroom locked up in a closet feeling like I was suffocating. The door had a random lock on it that was only used to lock me in when I was trying to get away from my older brothers. Sometimes I would spend up to an hour in that spot just infuriated that I had again fallen for the bathroom is going to keep you safe idea.
But now that Garret was off to boot camp I had no room to even enjoy my time without my brother being around. I was stuck with my oldest brother who popped in now and than and my mother who just popped in and stayed around. Life was suddenly all rather aggravating.
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