I put the letter back into the stack as I fought the tears. Who's Kimmy? "Char?" Kellan called. I rubbed my eyes quickly putting the letters back into the pile. I picked up my bag walking back upstairs as Kellan walked out of the master bedroom. "Hey, what's wrong?" I shook my head.
"Nothing." I smiled at him. I picked up Jamie as she lay between two pillows holding her ducky blanket I bought her.
"I wasn't sure which outfit you wanted her in so I pulled out a couple." I nodded picking up a yellow dress with polka dots on it gently pulled her head into it as she whimpered and gave me a cry.
"All done, Baby." I smiled at her kissing her head. She stuck out her tongue out before yawning. I lifted her up into my arms. "Aw Baby, go to Daddy. Mommy needs a shower." Kellan took her as I picked up my hand making my way towards the bathroom. I took a quick shower washing everything happy that my C-section wound is completely healed. It makes showering and walking so much easier. I got dressed quickly not wanting to spend too much time in here. I pulled on my strapless shirt and a pair of shorts. I ran a hand through my hand before sighing. I just need to forget about the letter. It's nothing. I know it is. Kellan wouldn't do that. I walked out of the bathroom as Kellan texted someone.
"You ready?" He smiled at me. I nodded at him picking up the diaper bag as he picked up Jamie's car seat.
"We need to set up the nursery for her. When do you start work?" I asked him as I put the diaper bag into the car.
"I have to be there at noon tomorrow." He said after putting Jamie in the back of the truck. "We can go in the morning I just have to be at the Fire House at 12."
"Okay then we'll go tomorrow morning to couple of stores and we'll pick everything out. I'm sure your parents or Ella can watch Jamie Wednesday when we set everything up in the house." I smiled at him as he pulled out of the drive way.
"I don't think we'll have the problem of having them watch her, Char. The problems going to be getting Jamie back from them." I smiled t him looking in the mirror as Jamie snuggled her head in the soft fabric of the little ducky blanket.
"She'll be a heartbreaker one day. She'll take after her Daddy." I couldn't help throwing in that dig at him. That letter still had me reeling. He left a girl when he came to see me in New Hampshire. He didn't tell her where he was going, or that he was going to see his baby being born. I am scared to talk about it because I'm scared at the answer I'll get.
"Let's hope not. You'll steer her in the right direction. I know you will." He smiled at me at I watched him. "She'll grow up to be just as beautiful and amazing as her mother."
"Yeah," I smiled at him gently. He always knew what to say. Ass-hole he is is a damn good sweet talker ever since I was young. Family trait I tell you, Elliot is the same way. "How's Elliot, Kellan?"
"My brother? The last I heard from him was before you told me about Jamie. I thought the two of you talked, well at least to Mia. You two were close." Elliot is Kellan's older brother, Mia's being his wife. I remember when they were still dating before Patrick was born, their son and my loving god son.
"I haven't talked to them in a while. I miss them." It’s an amazing story about how I became Patch's god-mother when he first came home and a week later had a bad case of colic and wouldn't sleep at all. I stayed up every other day to rock him to a comfortable lull so Mia and Elliot could sleep.
"They should be coming up soon. I know Ell wants to meet his niece. You know they've been trying for another." Kellan said as we pulled up to the house I grew up in.
"Yeah Mia was telling me that when we last talked. They should have a little one. They make cute babies." I laughed at him as we got out and got a sleeping Jamie.
"Oh Bob they're here!" I heard Kellan’s mom call as we walked up to the door. “Let me see my Grandbaby!” She swung the door open to attack us.
“Oh hello to you too, Maddy.” I laughed. She pulled the duck gently away from her face. “Oh look at her. She looks so much like you Kellan.” She smiled up at him. “I missed you.” She hugged me tightly. “You look great, Sweetheart.” She rubbed my cheek gently. “Come here you big butt.” She pulled Kellan into a hug. “She’s beautiful.” She leaned back as Bob came out and patted Kellan on the back.
“Let me steal my Grandbaby while we go have guy talk.” Bob kissed my head talking the car seat from Kellan. “Welcome back, Char.” He winked. “Come, Son.” They walked down to the basement as I rolled my eyes.
“Do you need help cooking?” Maddy smiled at me as we walked to the kitchen.
“Sure. Cut the peppers for me.” She handed me the green, red, and yellow peppers. I got a knife and started to clean the seeds out.
“So how does it feel to be a mother?” Maddy asked after a moment of comfortable silence. I used to always go to Maddy for advice; I lived with her for 5 years. I couldn’t help feeling comfortable around her and telling her everything, always wanting her impute.
“I love it.” I smiled looking at her from the kitchen island when I was chopping. “I can’t imagine her not here now. Everything I went through was worth it the minute I held her for the first time. She’s perfect.” Maddy smiled at me as she went to go put meat onto the stove.
“They change you. I remember having the same feeling when I had Elliot.” She laughed. “Bob thought I was crazy.” She cleared her throat. “Speaking of crazy Palmer men. How is Kellan? Is he being a good father?” We always knew Kellan wasn’t always a baby man. He wouldn’t even change a poopy diaper when Patch was a baby. He had a wussy stomach when it came to them. He could run into a burning building but this man couldn’t change a dirty diaper. Go figure. I’d always get roped in to change them for him. We always figured Kellan would stay childless to stay away from all the ick he didn’t like.
“He’s great. He takes on the midnight feeding when I just can’t find the energy to breast feed. He gives her Daddy cuddles when she cries. He even changes her poopy diapers. I never expected that from him. I knew he would take on the feedings, he loves bottle feedings but the diapers surprised me.” I finished off the pepper and moved onto the next.
“It’s different when it’s your baby.” Maddy said throwing in some spices into the pan. “Bob was the same, but I knew he loved Elliot. He grew up and we raised a fine boy, three great kids really. I could never regret having my three babies with him. He is just a big sweetheart.” She had that smile on her face like every time she talked about him. It was the smile of pure happiness. I hope one day I’ll have that smile when I think of Kellan. I want to smile with the thought of pure love.
“I know. He is such a great father with her.” I smiled to myself.
“How are you two? I know a baby can be stressful. How is your relationship?” My smiled dropped. I swallowed looking down at the peppers on my cutting board. I finished off the last pepper quickly. “Charlotte?” I looked up quickly before looking down. She walked to me putting her hands on the counter. “What happened?” I put the knife down putting the peppers into a pile.
“Where do you these?” She handed me a bowel to put them in.
“Baby talk to me.” I ran my hand over my eyes.
“Who’s Kimmy?” I watched her face drop. She knew. That hurt more than the note.
“Why do you ask?” She went into cooking dinner again. Oh she knew. She was avoiding eye contact. She always did that, she’s not a very good liar.
“Was he dating her before he came after me?” She looked at me biting her lip.
“I really think you should talk to him about this, Charlotte.” I shook my head.
“Please, answer me.” I felt the tears as I fought them back with everything I had. “I need to know.” She sighed nodding.
“Yeah. They’ve been dating on and off for over two years now. I don’t know when they broke up.” She looked down sighing putting her hands flat on the counter. “I don’t even know if they broke up.” I leaned down the counter putting my face into my hands. “They’re always on and off. All I knew was that Kellan got you pregnant, you left, and then he followed after you a month later. He maybe my son, but he doesn’t talk to me about this. I don’t know what happened in that time. You need to talk to him about it.” I silent sob racked my body as I fought to stay quiet. “Come here.” I felt her pulling me into her arms. “Why do you ask?”
“I found a letter from her on the counter. He didn’t tell her. How do I even know he told anyone?” I cried into her shoulder.
“Hush, hush baby. You don’t know that. You need to talk to him about this. You can’t let what my old forgetting brain tell you what I’m not sure is even fact.” She rubbed my back. “You two have a child now. You need to talk it out. For Jamie.” I rubbed my eyes looking up. “Okay, Sweetheart? It’s not just you anymore.”
“I don’t want to fight with him.” She rubbed my cheek.
“I know. But you can’t live a lie.” She stroked my hair as the timer went off. “Go get cleaned up. Dinner’s ready.” I walked into the small bathroom in the back of the house. Tonight is going to be interesting.
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