I closed my eyes falling back on my bed. I unpacked most of my room; surprisingly I have a lot of crap. Sarah says she found two big boxes from when I lived with my Dad from when I was little. I can’t believe he saved all of this. But as much as it was a pain to unpack, I love it. My room has never been this full…or big. The house is amazing. Dad and Sarah went all out. I know both my grandparents helped saying ‘My grandbabies need a good home!’ I know it gave Sarah a sigh of relief. I sighed sitting up from my position and looking at my phone. I haven’t spoken to Tucker since we left Texas a week ago. Sure we texted but it’s not the same. I missed him. As if on cue my phone started to ring. I picked it up yawning answering it. “Hello?”
“Hey baby…I’m so sorry I haven’t been able to call you.” Tucker rushed out quickly.
“Hey slow down there cowboy.” I laughed falling back on my bare pillows since all my sheets and pillow cases were in the wash. “Start over and breath while you’re talking.” I heard him start to laugh.
“I’m sorry I just got in from practice.” He sighed sitting down. “I’m sorry I haven’t been able to talk to you baby. Damn practice has been hectic I tell you.” I sighed.
“I know Tuck it’s alright. I’ve been unpacking with Sarah and helping with JJ.” I closed my eyes. “I missed you though.” I could hear him sigh on the other end of the line.
“I miss you too Baby. It’s been a long week. But school starts tomorrow. I’ll get to see you then right?” I smiled to myself, but it dropped right off quickly. “Baby?” Tucker asked as I lay there silently. “You still there?”
“Yeah….” I whispered putting my casted wrist over my eyes.
“What did I say?” He said quietly.
“Nothing…you did nothing wrong don’t.” I sighed.
“I upset you…I know I did.” He sighed I could hear the emotion behind his voice. I shook my head.
“No you didn’t.” I said quietly. “I just…”
“Not looking forward to school are you?” I sighed. “Don’t even answer that baby. I know you are. But why? I thought you loved school.” I turned over pressing my face into my pillow.
“It’s just….” I mumbled.
“Come on Car, you can tell me.” I could hear the sound of him walking around.
“What are you doing?” I asked lifting my head up from the pillow.
“Well Ms. Changing-the-subject, I’m getting ready to take a nice warm shower and get the smell of sweat, grass, and mud.” I giggled as he groaned. I know he smelled himself. “Now can we get back to the topic at hand here?”
“And what would that be?” I smiled to myself. He knew how to make me laugh. “Now why are you sad? Is it because I said I missed you?”
“No.” I shook my head biting my lip.
“Was it because I said it was a long week?” He asked as he turned on the shower water.
“No.” I bit harder on my lip, closing my eyes.
“It’s because I said school starts tomorrow isn’t it?” I nodded but otherwise stayed silence. “You’re scared aren’t you?” I didn’t answer. “Why baby?” He asked sitting down.
“I don’t know.” I whispered rubbing my eyes listening to the sound of the shower going in the background.
“You want to talk about it?” I shook my head.
“No, not really.” He sighed.
“Car come on.” I sighed coping him.
“I’m nervous.” I mumbled.
“You’re nervous? Of what?” I closed my eyes.
“Tucker….” I groaned biting my lip.
“What? Come on baby tell me.” He whined softly. I out my head back on my pillows.
“Tucker.” I whined back not wanting to go into it.
“Alright. I’m coming over now.” He turned off the water standing up.
“No, you need to shower and it’s late.” I said sitting up.
“Then what’s wrong. Talk to me. It’s what boyfriends and girlfriends do.” I sighed dramatically.
“Just nervous about…I won’t know anyone.”
“Baby you’ll know me and Nic. Ben and Blake. Liam and Eli.”
“Who’s Eli?” I asked confused as he turned the water back on for the shower.
“Oh right you never met him….he’s one of my other friends who came to the Beach House. Just after we left. You’ll meet him soon.” He soothed me. “I’ll be there for you baby. I promise. I love you.” I closed my eyes again tightly.
“I love you too.”
“Alright Car I need to take a shower. I smell terrible. I’ll call you in the morning before you leave for school alright? I’ll meet you there. Don’t be scared.”
“No problem. See you tomorrow?”
“Yeah.” I hung up the sitting up as I heard a whine from JJ’s room down the hall. I promised Sarah while she took a calming bath I would take care of him for a couple hours. I walked to his room turning on the little light by the crib. JJ whined through his pacifier looking up at his mobile. I put my head over the crib bars so JJ could see me. I smiled at him as he lifted his hands up before putting them over his head whining again. “What’s wrong my little man? Is it time for a bottle?” He put his chin up before whining again. “I’ll take that as a yes buddy.” I lifted him out of the crib walking over to the mini fridge that Harold bought for Sarah as a late baby shower present. It was a great gift and she loves it. I looked into it before frowning and looking over at a small table we put in here. It had a bottle of breast milk on it. I picked up the note next to it cradling JJ in my arm as he wiggled around.
You’re a life saver Lightning. I needed to relax for a little bit.
I smiled putting the note down picking up the bottle and a receiving blanket and sitting down in the rocking chair. I took the pacifier out of his greedy mouth as he started to whine even more. “Mr. Greedy hold on a moment. I’m getting there.” He kicked his pajama covered feet as I wrapped him in the receiving blanket. He whined again reaching as I pulled the bottle closer to his mouth. He cooed at it reaching for it. “You are so damn greedy JJ.” I smiled at him as I put the nipple into his mouth as he suckled on it. He lifted his hand to pull on my necklace as he suckled. He pulled on it as I kissed his head. “I’m scared JJ.” He stared at me. “I’m scared that everything is going to change with me and Tucker now we’re at school. What if he doesn’t want me like he did when we were at the house?” JJ kicked my arm as he suckled his hand still on my necklace. “I love so much. Its 3 months since I first met him and I’m head over heels in love with him. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I can’t lose him J. I can’t. Not now.” JJ tugged on my necklace again making me look down at the bucket and shovel on it. The one Tucker gave me.
“I think he is trying to tell you something.” I looked up at Sarah as she leaned on the doorway in a robe.
“You heard that?” I asked nervously. She moved from her spot leaning on the door way to walk in as I lifted the bottle a little bit higher for JJ.
“Yeah. Baby doll do you don’t have to be afraid of losing him.” I looked down away from her. “Why are you afraid?” I sighed.
“I’m just scared we aren’t going to be as close. I don’t want to lose him.” I looked at her biting my lip. Sarah walked over and put her hand on my shoulder.
“That boy loves you so much.” JJ tugged on the necklace again. “If he didn’t love you he wouldn’t have bought you this.” I put the bottle down as JJ finished. He cooed at me pulling on my necklace again. “But you need to talk to Tucker about this. He wouldn’t be doing what he’s doing if he didn’t love you. If he just wanted into your pants he would have been gone by now.” I blushed bright red at that comment.
“How did you know….?” She laughed.
“I’ve been 18 once sweetheart. I know what it’s like to be in love.” She smiled taking JJ. “I made an appointment with the gynecologist for Thursday to get you checked out.” I could feel my face burning as Sarah smiled at me. “I might be your step mom but I want to make sure you and Tucker are safe and don’t have a little….bump in the road.” She kissed my head.
“I’m really glad I have you Sarah.” I smiled at her trying to make my face…not red.
“I know. I’m always here for you now kid.” She laughed. “If you ever need anything just ask. Please do not ask your father…I don’t want to see his reaction for that.” We both shuddered at the thought. “Now go get your sheets and blankets out of the drier and go make your bed. Get some sleep, tomorrows a big day.” She burped JJ nodding out to the hallway. I nodded kissing JJ’s head and Sarah’s cheek before walking down to the basement to get my sheets before making my bed. I curled up under the blankets and sighed looking at my phone. It buzzed making me pick it up.
I love you
I smiled answering him quickly before holding on my phone falling asleep quickly.
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