Pain Isn't a Weakness

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic

Chapter 1 (v.1) - How It Goes...

Submitted: May 25, 2011

Reads: 2566

Comments: 20

A A A | A A A

Submitted: May 25, 2011



“Bailey have you seen my damn keys?” Biggy huffed walking into the room.

“How am I supposed to know?”I laughed looking up from my sketch book.

“Well I don’t know your you. You should know where they are.” He frowned lifting things up looking for his keys.

“Well have you checked your office? You know in the bowel I put in there that oh I don’t know says ‘My keys’?” He stopped looking and looked at me.

“I knew you knew!” He beamed taking my head into his hands and kissing my head. He almost ran off into his office. “Where are they?” I was about to turn around and tell him to be quiet but it was too late. A sudden cry made me groan. “Damn it.” Biggy said holding his keys with a grimace. “I’m sorry Bailey. I didn’t know he was sleeping.” I closed my book and moved over on the chair. I looked at him as Fin at he came out of Biggy’s office holding his blanket.

“Mommy.” He said his face scrunched up.

“Oh come here my little baby.” He walked over into my arms as I sat him on my lap cuddling him to me. “Did the big Meany wake you up Baby?” He nodded holding his blanket up to his head as I rubbed his back. “I’m sorry Finley.” I whispered kissing his head. He buried his head into the crook of my neck.

“Mommy.” He mumbled as I wrapped him up in the blanket.

“Yeah Baby?” I asked kissing his head.

“I want a juicy.” He said looking up at me with the same look his father gave me, but with that sleepy look on his face.

“I bet you do Fin.” He smiled nodding happily, the sleepy-ness going away.

“We go get some Mommy?” He asked big eyed. “And ice cream?” His whole face made me smile as I stared at him as he stared in wonder at me.

“Well I don’t know Fin.” I said trying not to just give in. “I do have to work Baby.” I said looking at Biggy.

“But I want ice cream.” He said his eye brows going down and his mouth pouting. I looked at Biggy as he folded his arms over his chest.

“I’m sure you two can go get some ice cream I’ll hold down the fort while you’re gone.” He nodded. “But only if you bring me back some.” He laughed as the door jingled to say someone opened the store door. I closed my sketch book and slipping it into my bag. I slipped it onto my shoulder and moved Fin over to my hip as he smiled happily ready to get some ice cream. I leaned down to tie his shoes for him and fix him on my hip. I walked out of the back room and smiled at the customer that Biggy was helping.

“Ah Bailey this is Clara. Clara this is Bailey, my head drawer.” She smiled at me and nodded. “And this is Finley her son.” I have gotten used to people calling Fin my son since he got out of the hospital when he was only 5 months old. I enjoyed it know seeing as I have been his mother since then. I have to say that the last year and a half has been perfect, well other than a deployment or two, but otherwise perfect. It has been hectic trying to big Fin’s health back up and making sure he has been growing healthy. But he was been doing good and Taylor has full custody of him and it doesn’t look like Caroline is getting near him any time soon.

“Baily?” I shook my head getting back to the present.

“Sorry zoned out for a minute there. It’s nice to meet you Clara.” I smiled at her.

“Nice to meet you too.” She smiled quietly. I looked at Biggy.

“I’m going what do you want? Strawberry?” He nodded.

“Strawberry will work fine.” I nodded walking out of the door with Fin smiling at me giggling as walked down the boardwalk to the ice cream shop. It was only the end of May, nearing June, so the board walk wasn’t as crowded as it gets in summer but it wasn’t as empty as winter so there was a fair amount of people on the boardwalk today. I opened the door of the ice cream shop and put Fin down causing him to run up to the counter.

“Mommy come on.” He smiled at me from the ice cream freezer.

“I’m coming hold on.” I laughed walking over picking him up so he can see the flavors of ice cream. “Which one do you want baby?” I asked looking at all the flavors.

“I want that one.” He said pointing to the mint chocolate chip ice cream. “It’s green like the Hunk Mommy!” He smiled his eyes wide with excitement.

“Okay Baby.” I looked at the Ice Cream Clerk. “Can I have a scoop of mint chocolate chip ice cream and a scoop of cookie dough for here?” The clerk smiled at me and nodded.

“Cup or cone?” I looked at Fin as he looked at all the ice cream flavors.

“Both cups please.” He nodded getting the ice cream while Fin talked mindless chatter with me. I put Fin down telling him to get a table. He ran to a table looking down at his light up shoes as he did. I paid for the ice cream and thanked the clerk before going to the table Fin chose.I put his ice cream in front of him and smiled as he picked up his spoon and took a bite. I pulled out my sketch book and started to sketch a picture of him for Taylor. I was taking slow bites of my ice cream laughing at Fin as he got it everywhere on his face.

“Mommy?” I looked at him.

“Yeah Baby?”

“I want a puppy. Like Grandpa.” He nodded looking at me with his puppy eyes.

“I will have to talk to Daddy about that sweetheart. A Puppy is a big responsibility and Daddy needs to know about it okay.” He looked at me and nodded.

“I know Mommy. When am I going to get to talk to Daddy again?” I sighed putting my spoon down and looked at him.

“I honestly don’t know Finley. But you have to remember Daddy loves you and Daddy loves me. But Daddy has to work. To keep us all safe.” He looked down sadness in his eyes.

“I wish he didn’t have to work.” I sighed trying to fight the tears.

“I know. I wish so too. I wish he never had to go away. But he does. And when you’re older. Trust Baby you understand why he does. You will one day. Trust me.” He looked up at me. “You’ll understand. You know Daddy loves you.” I sniffled trying to fight the tears.

“I love him too Mommy.” He looked at me as I closed my sketch book and took out some napkins to wipe his face. He looked at me his blue eyes searching my face as I still fought my tears. “I love you Mommy.” I hugged him tightly.

“I love you too Finley.” I kissed his head. “Come on let’s get Biggy’s ice cream and get home and watch a movie just me and you okay?” He nodded get off his chair and smiling at me.

“Come on Mommy.”He smiled picking up my bag making me laugh. I picked up my sketch book shoving it back into my bag before lifting it up as well as take the garbage to throw out. I took Fin’s hand into mine before walking back to the counter to order Biggy’s 3 scoops of strawberry ice cream with whip cream to-go and paid for it. I walked out holding Fin’s hand walking back to the tattoo shop. I turned around getting the feeling as if someone was watching me causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand up. I looked around but everyone was going on doing what they were doing, ignoring me. I picked up Fin and walked fast back to the tattoo shop. When I got back Biggy smiled at me as I handed him the ice cream.

“Thank you Bailey.” He smiled taking the top off to eat it.

“Do you mind if I take off with Fin and go home. I will work at home and be back tomorrow or I’ll call you about when I’ll come in.” He nodded.

“Yeah that’s fine sweetheart. You know you’re flexible here. You don’t have to be here all the time. You just need to drop off the pictures.” He said taking another bite of his ice cream.

“I’ll call you. Thanks.” I smiled weakly at him.

“Bye Biggy.” Fin said from where he was laying on my shoulder.

“Bye Buddy. I’ll see you soon.” He smiled at him as I took my keys out and made my way to my truck unlocking it and putting Fin in his car seat and buckling him in. I got in the front seat putting on one of Fin’s favorite CD’s and drove to Dad’s house to pick up Harley as I wanted to feel safe again, as safe as I can feel with all my guys away. Taylor was deployed to Afghanistan with Skylar. Wyatt was stationed in Japan with Colt, my high school friend who is like my fourth brother, with Colt’s wife, my best friend Jenna. Colt and Jenna got married a couple of months ago before the boys everyone was deployed. It was a beautiful wedding and I was the maid of honor. But that’s a story for another time. Where was I? Oh right so Dad was away with the Corps on a week training mission so he won’t be back for a couple of days. That’s everyone one of my guys. After picking him up as well as dinner Mom had made when I called I went back to the apartment and for the next couple hours just relaxed watching some old Disney movies cuddled up in some blankets on the pull-out bed in the sofa and having dinner which Mom gave us. Harley lay on the bed by our feet sleeping happily.

“Alright Finny, time for bed.” I said lifting him up from the cocoon of blankets we were both in. He was already ready in his pajama; teeth brushed, and had his bath.

“Okay Mommy.” He said as I put him on the floor for him to run off to his room. I got up turning the TV off and making my way into Fin’s room to see him getting into his bed. I turned on his night light and tucked him in.

“I love you Fin.” I kissed his head. “And Daddy loved you too.” I kissed him again. “That kiss was from him. I kept it for you from him.” He smiled at me.

“I love you too Mommy. And tell Daddy I love him too.” He turned over hugging his blanket to him.

“I will Baby.” I whispered walking out of the room turning the lights off and closing the door so it was only opened a crack. “Harley come on.” He got up happily from the bed as I moved to put the bed away. I ran a hand through my hair and turned all the lights off making my way to Taylor and my bedroom. I crawled into bed as Harley jumped up behind me. I closed my eyes as sleep overcame my tired body.

“Mommy.” I felt a gentle shaking on my body. “Mommy wake up.” I opened my eyes and looked at Fin.

“Fin what’s wrong?” I asked groggily.

“I had a bad dream Mommy.” His face scrunched up as he was about to cry.

“Oh no did you wet yourself?” Tears started to fall as he nodded his head. I got out of bed picking him up and hugging him close to me and pressing my lips to his head. After Fin was a bad nightmare a couple of weeks ago Mom thought it would be better if we got him pull-ups. He loved them and it saved me having to wash his sheets more than I already do. It’s a win/win situation. “Let’s change your big boy undies.” He nodded.

“Can I sleep in your bed with you tonight Mommy?” I nodded taking him into the bathroom to change his pull-up as well as his pajamas. When we were done I walked back into my room and laid him down next to me.

“Goodnight Baby.” I said closing my eyes.

“Night Mommy.” He mumbled falling back to sleep….

A/N: Chapter one. Please tell me if you like it, as well as the new title. Thanks :)

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