Pain Isn't a Weakness

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic

Chapter 3 (v.1) - Fear

Submitted: June 05, 2011

Reads: 618

Comments: 19

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Submitted: June 05, 2011



It’s been a long 3 weeks I can tell you that. They always take the longest to go the last couple weeks especially the last couple of days. It felt like the days were months, the hours were weeks, the minutes were days, and seconds feeling like hours. Time wasn’t going fast enough. So I did what any military man’s girl would do. I buried myself in work and in Fin. I am getting more and more nervous since we are picking up Taylor tomorrow. I have still been taking Fin to day care even though it kills me inside every time I drop him off I do it for him. I pulled up to the Day-Care center and parked my truck. I closed my eyes and rubbed my face. I have been doing this every day, morning and afternoon. Every time I come here. Why can’t this get easier? I opened my eyes turning the truck off and getting out of the truck and going inside. I opened the door and looked at Sherry as she smiled at me. I gave her a weak smile as I made my way to her desk and signed my name picking him up and looked up at the back door that lead to where the kids were held opened. “Mommy!” Fin yelled running towards me. I leaned down to his level to lift him up into my arms holding him tight.

“Did you have fun today?” I said kissing his head as he pulled back to look at me.

“Yeah.” I straightened up and took his bag from the care taker as she handed it to me. He handed me a piece of paper with a big smile on his face.

“Picture Mommy!” I put him on my hip and looked at the picture.

“It’s great buddy.” I smiled at it. “Who’s that?” I looked at him. He drew a picture with crayons of a bunch of stick figures that we must have seen some of the other kids drew.

“That Daddy.” He nodded with an ‘I know what I’m talking about’ face.

“And who’s that?” I pointed to the other bigger stick figure.

“That Mommy.” He said looking at me. I smiled happily at him once again.

“Who is that Finny?” He looked down at the picture.

“That me Mommy.” He giggled at me and pointed to the next figure I was about to ask about. “That puppy.” He nodded knowingly. He can’t wait till Taylor comes home and he can get his puppy since I told him what Taylor said.

“It’s a perfect puppy Fin.” I kissed his head. “Come on let’s go home Baby.” I smiled at Sherry before turning and walking out to the truck again. “Hmm what should I make for dinner tonight Buddy?” He looked at me.

“Burger Mommy! Burger!” He smiled curling his arms around my neck.

“Alright Fin burgers it is. Off to the food store to get food we go!” I smiled putting him in his car seat before buckling him in. I got in and made my way towards the food store so I could pick up food for dinner and some other things we needed. I pulled Fin out putting him into the child seat on the shopping cart. I made my way down the aisles and pulled the things I need and put them into my cart.

“Mommy this?” He said looking at me with innocent eyes holding up a candy.

“Sure Baby.” I smiled at him shaking my head. When we were done we didn’t have too much because I didn’t want to have to take more than one trip up to the apartment but it’s all good. I put Fin in his car seat and buckled him in before putting the food into the other side of the truck. I closed the door and made my way into the driver’s seat and headed towards the apartment building. I watched both the road as well as Fin bopping to the music on the radio. I pulled into a spot and got my bag before walking out getting Fin before locking the car. I held Fin’s hand and in my other hand I held the bags as we made our way to our apartment.

“Mommy I hungry.” He said as we got into the apartment turning on the lights.

“Alright baby. You go watch some TV while Mommy makes dinner.” He nodded going to side on the couch while I turned on the TV and put on the DVD player playing a movie for him. I took the food out of the bags and put it away and started to make dinner. The phone started to ring making me look over to the living room with my hands buried in meat. “Fin can you get that for me. Just come hand it to me.” 

“Okay Mommy.” I heard him say as I finished the meat before washing my hands to take the phone. “Okay Daddy. I love you too Daddy.” He smiled walking into the kitchen. “Here’s Mommy.” He handed me the phone before running back into the living room to watch his movie. I put the phone to my ear as I started back to making dinner again.

“Hey Baby.” I smiled as I heard Taylor’s voice.

“Hey, how’s everything going?”

“Almost home Baby. Almost home.”

“I know. I feel like every time I go to sleep I feel like I’m going to wake up and this is all going to be a dream.”

“It’s not a dream Blondie. I’m almost home. I’m coming home to my beautiful girlfriend and my son.”

“I love you.” I smiled as I put the burgers into the pan.

“I love you too. Just think this time tomorrow I will be home with you and Fin.”

“I know. I just can’t wait to see you again in the flesh.

“I can’t wait to have you in my arms again.”

“I can’t wait either.”

“God I will finally get to have you again. It’s been so long since I have had you.”

“Way too long Baby.” I giggled at him as I knew what he was talking about.

“Just you wait Bailey and we will be together again.” I smiled as I took the burger off the heat and put them on buns before cutting Fin’s up so he can eat it better.

“I love you Baby, but I have to go. A couple of guys want to use the phone.”

“I love you too.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow Baby.”

“I’ll be waiting.” I whispered as Taylor hung up the phone. I sighed and finished making dinner. “Fin it’s time for dinner baby.”

“But Mommy.” I heard him say making me go into the living room. He looked so much like Taylor as he lay on the couch looking up at me as I stopped in front of him. “Movie.” He pointed at it then looked at me again.

“Alright let me pause it then we go eat okay. Remember we have to go to bed early tonight. Do you remember why?” He looked at me as his movie paused.

“Daddy!” He yelled as I picked him up and made my way towards the kitchen again. I sat him down in front of his seat before putting some ketchup on his plate. I sat down in my chair as I started to eat my food. After dinner I lifted Fin up and put him on the ground allowing him to go finish his movie while I cleaned up the dishes and put them into the dishwasher. I smiled as I finished everything was clean and shiny. I wiped my hands on a dish rag before my cell phone beeped making me frown and walk over to it.

**New Message**Unknown** Miss me Bailey? I hope you didn’t think I was gone since you haven’t heard from me for so long. Well you might not have heard from me but I have been watching you. You will get to meet me again soon. I know I can’t wait to get to talk to you again. See your face up close. I know that Baby would just love it. I can’t wait, but I will. You won’t know when I will come till I’m there. So be ready sweetheart.

My heart stopped as I stared at my phone re-reading the message over and over not moving, barley even breathing. I was terrified. But not for myself. For Fin. My baby. I was scared. Who could this be? Who wanted to scare me so much? A chill went down my spine spreading over my body. “Mommy?” I broke out of my trance to look at him. He had the same look Taylor had when he knew something was wrong.

“Come here baby.” I whispered as I leaned down for a hug. He ran into my arms as I held him tightly to me. I lifted him up and held him close to me. “Come on it’s time for a bath.” He laid his head on my shoulder as I took him into the bathroom and started up his bath. I spent the next hour watching him play in the bath with the bubbles and with his toys before getting him in his pajamas. “Alright time to mark the calendar.” I smiled weakly carrying him into the kitchen grabbed the calendar and the permanent marker. I helped him cross out the last day right before the day where I wrote ‘Daddy’s Home’ on it.

“Mommy.” I looked at him. “I sleep with you?” I smiled at him.

“Of course baby come on.” I closed the calendar and made my way towards his bedroom grabbing his blanket handing it to him before making my way towards my bedroom laying him on the bed while I got my pajamas to change into to get ready for bed myself. When I came back in after shutting off the lights Fin was fast asleep curled up with his blanket. I moved the sheet getting under the blanket before pulling the blanket over him closing my eyes trying to go to sleep even though the text message was still playing over in my mind….

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