The light in the center of my darkness

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Chapter 18 (v.1) - Split Second Decision

Submitted: March 16, 2011

Reads: 189

Comments: 3

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Submitted: March 16, 2011



I laughed as he carried me out of the house and placed me in the truck before he grabbed my hand and handed me something. I giggled as I felt my flip flops placed in my hand. The door closed and I heard him as he walked around the truck and moved to the other side. I heard the door open and he got in. The truck roared to life and I felt the vibration move through me like a freight train. I smiled to myself and laughed internally at the memories that I missed so much.

I felt his hand creep into mine. "So tell your caveman what you're thinking."

I giggled. "I was thinking back to the days I spent in Ormond Beach at the Iron Horse enjoying Bike Week and Biketoberfest. It was so much fun to have the dance floor to myself when Liquid Soul played my song. I lost myself in the music and I could feel it though every part of my body. When you started up your truck I got the same feeling and it was amazing. I miss going, I miss dancing and seeing old friends there. You would fall in love with J.B. Walker and the Cheap Whiskey Band. They are so amazing and of course David Allan Coe plays there every year and who doesn't like his music. Those were the days. The days before kids, well mostly anyway. I did go to Biketoberfest the year before we left and Mom watched the kids for me. I loved it, so much fun, great memories and the music. Ugh, you don't know how much I would love to go there again. To dance to the music that just fills you up with freedom."

He laughed. "I didn't know you were so wild, going to a bar and dancing. I bet you got hit on a lot."

I nodded. "Yeah, but I never paid attention to it, and why should I. I loved to dance and that was it I didn't go there to meet people, I went for the friends I made in the bands. I have to say that the pictures I have with JB Walker are some of my favorites. Those were great days, such great days. I wish things could be the way they were, but I guess every time I dwell on it the longing gets worse. I like my life, but I don't love it yet. I guess I will have to get there."

He grasped my hand tighter. "I told you before Mara that we are going to do whatever it takes to get your sight back. I don't like to see you like this baby and I hate the fact that you have doubts about your life. Weren't you supposed to talk to the doctors about an experimental surgury for your eyes?"

I nodded again. "Yes, well they said they would contact me when it was ready and still I haven't heard a thing. I get tired of waiting ya know. Now I have to train another person at work so that they can work with me because bossman doesn't want fire me. He better choose someone good because I won't work with someone inflexible." I took a breath. "I'm sorry I hate being idle. I miss work and I miss everything else. How is Molly healing up over at your place?"

He laughed. "I am surprised you remembered her the way you were going on, but I guess you really had to get all that off your chest didn't you."

I nodded. "Yes, it has been weighing on me. A bit too much I think, and I know that this is going to sound horrible but I am scared that since you can play with them more than I can, my kids will love you more than they love me. I am so scared they are going to think I don't love them because I can't play with them as much as they want me to. I feel like a failure Rick and it is driving me crazy. I can't take it anymore. My family pacifies me and tell me that I am doing fine that I am a great mom considering my disability. The word that gets me the most is disability. I am not crippled, I can still do things for myself, so why is it that my family loves to throw around the word disability. I get so sick of hearing it that I stopped talking to them. Georgia takes them to Tifton for me for my mother to pick up. She always tells me that my mother was sad I wasn't there. So I call my mother to talk about it and all I hear is disability this and disability that. I get so sick of hearing and her not letting me explain that I don't want to hear it anymore. It is like I am not just crippled, but that I am a baby now."

I felt the truck lurch to a stop and jerked a bit in the seat. "Is that why you don't talk to your mother. Mara Lynette Hodges, how dare you do that. Your mother, sister and father are all you have left. What if something happened, like what happened with your brother, you would never forgive yourself. You need to make your mother listen if it is the last thing you do. In fact how about we take the kids down there as a surprise to her. That way not only does she get to see the kids, but she gets to see you and you two can hash out what you need to in person instead of over the phone."

I thought back, back to the time I lost my only brother and the words I never got to say. I nodded again. "Let's do it. How about when the kids come home we feed them and go. It is only a six hour drive and I want them to meet you as well. Rick, thank you. You don't know how much it means to me. You are right I shouldn't waste a moment. I am going to call my mom and let her know. I don't want her to be banging the ass of my dad when we pull up and they are like bunnies I swear."

He laughed and put the truck back into gear. I was happy, happier than I had been in a while. The amazing man in the seat beside me was everything to me and I wanted so much to be with him. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone and hit the button. "Dial Mom." I smiled as the line started to ring.

Mom* Hey sweetie how are you?

Me* Hi Momma, are you busy?

Mom* No not at all, what contemplating what to do for dinner is all.

I giggled.

Me* How about adding four to that menu. Is dad home this week?

Mom* What are you talking about?

Me* Well when the kids are done with daycare in about two hours, I figured that we would come for a surprise visit. I have missed you.

Mom* I have too, your dad is home for a few more day so he will be happy. Are you going to be able to bring their four wheelers?

Me* Sure, got a truck to put them in.

Mom* You said four, is Georgia coming down with you?

Me* Nope, Momma I have someone special that I would like you to meet. You might have seen him in passing, but he is very special to me and I want you and dad to officially meet him.

Mom* You mean that cutie that wouldn't leave your bedside. He wouldn't talk to anyone either. So what is he to you.

Me* He is my boyfriend. Very special to me indeed.

Mom* Well then I will tell your dad, he will be happy to see you as well. I might invite your sister over as well so the kids can all play together.

Me* That would be great, I have some things I would like to speak with you all about if that is alright with you.

Mom* More than alright we will see you tonight sweetie.

Me* Alright mom bye.

I hung up the phone and smiled as we continued on to Ricks. I looked in his direction and giggled. "So I guess that this gets me out of shooting lessons for a bit huh?"

He laughed. "For a couple of days, but don't think that you are going to get out of it. I bet your dad would agree with me on this."

I nodded. "Yeah I know he would, but that is alright I am fine with it, the idea has merit. Let's go pack your things and then go back to my place so we can pack things for the kids, give them a bit of a snack to hold them over and then be on our way."

He grasped my hands and placed them on his face and I felt him nod his head. "I am glad they only had a half day of daycare today. We should be able to make it there by six."

I giggled. "Yep and then you are going to get the twenty questions from my family. I hope you like to drink cowboy because I know at this moment they are restocking the liquor cabinet and buying some beer just for me."

He sighed. "Well, thank goodness that I love you huh?"

I grabbed him up and held him tight. "You know we have some time before we have to go back to my place so how about I save a horse and ride a cowboy?"

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