Something written to understand the wars and its consequences and finally to ask, Can this all be stopped?

I am not a poet so I am not very good with words,

Therefore help me Oh my readers - to find a voice, which would be clearly heard.

I want to talk about some broken dreams,

Tears shed from the eyes of homeless and the agony of their unheard screams.

I need a song to explain the emotions of a newly wedded wife,

Whose husband is fighting at border, on the edge of his life.

I don't know, how to explain it to an angry brother,

why there is scarcity of resources on one side, while presence of abundance on the other.

I want to narrate how a mother feels,

When she had to walk thousand miles, to feed her child with one time meal

I want to understand can a starving stomach hear words like love and compassion

Can a poet whose ink is dipped in blood; write with comfortable ease about his passion?

Finally ! I want to ask, can we shed our greed to live in unity on the same land under one Sun

Can there be a day when sound of music will echo louder than the sound of Gun?


Submitted: March 05, 2012

© Copyright 2022 Gagan. All rights reserved.

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Comments

mburt0n222_22

Nicely done :)

Mon, March 5th, 2012 8:24pm

Author
Reply

Thanks :)

Mon, March 5th, 2012 1:04pm

moonphish

that was very well stated and in answer to the closing line, i certainly hope so

Mon, March 5th, 2012 8:40pm

Author
Reply

I hope for the same :)

Mon, March 5th, 2012 1:05pm

MyEditorFriend

I can not help you find your voice. You command it already.

You make this look so easy, Gagan.

Mon, March 5th, 2012 10:58pm

Author
Reply

Sir. it's always an honor to hear from you :)

Tue, March 6th, 2012 7:07am

Insane Membrane

hi ... I hope we can also......very thought provoking and to be honest why shouldn't we be able to ? some have so much and others so little and the world is full of unnecessary suffering .

Mon, March 5th, 2012 11:47pm

Author
Reply

Exactly my friend, there has to be a balance. Hope it will be restored someday :)

Tue, March 6th, 2012 7:08am

chris collins

Nice like it alot well written

Tue, March 6th, 2012 3:23am

Author
Reply

:)

Tue, March 6th, 2012 7:09am

ashi17

Very well written, touching subject, smartly handled. Keep writting and amazing your readers :) !!!!

Tue, March 6th, 2012 4:16am

Author
Reply

Thanks for the read friend, I am glad you enjoyed it :)

Tue, March 6th, 2012 7:10am

murtuza

another unique one. Well done.

Tue, March 6th, 2012 5:52am

Author
Reply

Always good to hear from you brother :)

Tue, March 6th, 2012 7:10am

SmileValentine

this is very well-written and a different matter to talk with.. i like it! ^^

Tue, March 6th, 2012 8:36am

Author
Reply

Thanks a lot friend :)

Tue, March 6th, 2012 7:15am

ashi17

Gagan, I personally feels as it's title is not reflecting it's proper theme, if possible think of something related to your subject :) !

Tue, March 6th, 2012 10:54am

Author
Reply

Thanks Ashi! Friend, I left it blank as i was not able to come up with any appropriate name. So any suggestions will be welcomed :)

Tue, March 6th, 2012 7:16am

GuiltyPleasure

Powerfully stated! each line was true to the core and raised jolting questions. The source of life is one (sun on the surface) and yet..

it is lack of wisdom thats at the root of all the conflicts, big or small...

Tue, March 6th, 2012 5:53pm

Author
Reply

Yes Friend, very true! From Ancient studies of Vedas to modern advances of science, everything suggests we all are knots of same thread. Long and strong, yet we keep tearing it a part.Thanks for read :)

Tue, March 6th, 2012 9:59am

XxlulucrossxX

Wow... O_O VERY powerful poem friend! XDDDD Well done! ;) Thankee for the request!

Tue, March 6th, 2012 8:55pm

Author
Reply

Thanks for the read my friend :)

Tue, March 6th, 2012 1:16pm

onlyinred

I honestly loved it! It addresses very real problems that we don't really think about that have been happening for centuries! It is also very inspirational and the words affected me. Looovee itttt!!! Great word variation and it sounds like its simply said and rhymed, yet there is SOO MUCH MORE BEHIND THE POEM! Great Job!! Love it, if you haven't noticed :}

Tue, March 6th, 2012 11:36pm

Author
Reply

Thanks for the motivation friend. It was written with lot of heart and spirit. I am happy that you liked it :)

Wed, March 7th, 2012 7:17am

Serenade Willie

Hola! Thanks for dropping a reading request.

I was elated to know the theme of the poem, because it belongs to my likes of topics.

So, staring from the minor punctuation errors, I don't think that a comma was needed before LOVE AND COMPASSION.

A semi-colon is required after OH MY READERS, because it is for a longer pause, and the kind of feeling that the comma provided was really abrupt. It seemed as if you quickly wanted to switch to other lines (though I know it is not so!)

There is a sheer requirement for a question mark in the second last stanza, and the last line too.

Friend, I too found a grammar error dangling in the writ. WHOSE should be the word instead of WHO'S. Typos occur... won't blame you for that!

Allover, this was fantastic! SNAPPY AND BEAUTIFUL!!!

Your friend,
S.Willie...

Wed, March 7th, 2012 8:23am

Author
Reply

Beautiful Friend! This is what I was looking for, All the above mentioned grammatical errors will be taken care right away!

Wed, March 7th, 2012 7:20am

springsun

Friend! This is indeed a very nice poem with such a clear message. Perhaps, if every author used their powerful voice, we could get one inch closer to this goal? I should say that your voice is enough, but sadly that isn't true. Every human on this planet must work together to accomplish this.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and using your voice!
To answer your question: Yes, I belive that we can make it.

Wed, March 7th, 2012 8:27am

Author
Reply

So do I, lets keep saying till the time we are not heard. Thanks for the read my Friend :)

Wed, March 7th, 2012 7:35am

Shadows of Memories

Hey you have again tried to experiment with the format; you tried using a conversation mode with your readers! and that was obviously an outstanding idea. Regarding the subject matter ur poem reminds of another one written by Anisha, which has been selected in an anthology called WAR & POETRY.(posting the link for ur ref. http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/Anisha-Dutta/909096/) And I really dont have any word to re confirm that the write is just an outstanding one with exact expression and knock at door. Just can say keep it up buddy :)

Wed, March 7th, 2012 9:04am

Author
Reply

Jo! Always a pleasure to read your comment. Thanks for the motivation and i will read it.

Wed, March 7th, 2012 7:37am

followyourdreams

lovely written and makes sense. really like it

Wed, March 7th, 2012 12:50pm

Author
Reply

:)

Wed, March 7th, 2012 7:38am

arun

I'm so speechless bhai. I'm stunned...
Awesome poetry. And messages that got riveted to my heart.

Wed, March 7th, 2012 7:58pm

Author
Reply

Thanks as always brother. Any suggestions to make it better??

Wed, March 7th, 2012 12:52pm

ashi17

1- louder than gun, 2- Ink dipped in blood, 3- fighting at the fence (#) 4- unheard screams. Gagan I would like to suggest above titles which I feel more suitable for your amazing piece of writing. Rethink and do whatever satisfies you :)

Wed, March 7th, 2012 8:57pm

RavenStars

I like this! :)

Thu, March 8th, 2012 1:16am

Author
Reply

:)

Thu, March 8th, 2012 7:10am

Acie Anderson

I really enjoyed this very much :) Great job!

Thu, March 8th, 2012 2:56am

Author
Reply

Thanks Brother! Will surely check your work soon :)

Thu, March 8th, 2012 7:11am

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