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Thomas Gray was sitting, holding the hand of his near death mother. She was shivereing, the colour in her contanounce was waning. Pale as a glittering, falling snowflake, cold as ice. Her blood shot green eyes, Staring wildly around the room.Her usual ruby coloured cheeks, were now deep purple burrows, they seemed that they would reach her soul. Her breathing caught on every breath it took. As she lay her long matted black hair stuck to her forehead. Her whole body dreanched with sweat. Blood was cascading down from the corner of her mouth. She was like an angel gone wrong.
'Don't dies, don't die, don't die' I chanted to myself, hoping an angel above could hear my screeching thoughts. I stared at the hand that gripped mine, cold as could cold be. I searched her withered contanouce, for any part of her that wasn't warped with the devils curse, no other could be so cruel to inflict such excruciating pain on Theresa, my darling mother. Then suddendly her breathing began to haste, her body jumping with every beat. I saw the look in her eye, the look of relief that the horrifying pain, which flowed through her, would quickly end. With one last treasered beat, she froze. She had gone. "Goodbye" I whispered. My angel had flown. I stared with unbeliving eyes at the corpse of my beloved mother; Looking for a glint of life in her mint green eyes. But there was nothing, just eyes staring blindly, just pupils embedded in her skull.
I ran outside in a haste screaming words that caused others to stare. Tears gushed down my apple-y cheeks. A great number crowded around me, trying to make sense of my wordless screeches. "dead" i managed to coke out, gestering to the house which now seemed empty to me. I half expected someone to hug or embrace me, but no one had the time. The crowd dissapered. Then it hit me. I was alone. I ran back to the house, and said one last " Goodbye" to my mothers fozen corpse. I last tear rolled down my cheek as I opened the door, and stepped out into the unknown. The streets of London.
This is all i have written so far. Please comment. Hope you enjoyed it!
Submitted: August 04, 2012
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Midnight Jade
I stumbled upon this from the 'random first lines' thing at the top and from your introduction it looks really good.
Sat, August 4th, 2012 7:26pmJust a word of advice, always double-check your work. It's well written but there are quite a few spelling and grammar mistakes. Apart from that, this is really good, and I hope to read more in the near future!
Please keep me updated. :)