People with Bad-ass Names - a Novella

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

Chapter 2 (v.1)

Submitted: February 07, 2008

Reads: 1193

Comments: 1

A A A | A A A

Submitted: February 07, 2008



Chapter 2
A month after Ackley was hired, Muffi groaned in her lonely bed thinking he ought to be beside her. The returning New Yorker was everything he’d claimed to be, and more.
Breakages in the bar were down and the cellar-man at last knew what his duties were and even helped out behind the bar instead of reading comics in the basement and had assumed the additional responsibility of ordering, checking in and stocktaking of all liquor and mixes.
Takings were increasing because Ackley with his dry wit and endless jokes and his ability to present them made him popular. He was attracting his own clientele. Social refugees with names like Shank, Claude, Eugene and Thomson, Zenus, Beatrice Florence and Bubba were slowly being outnumbered by regular-named guys called David, Jacob, Michael and Ben or by women answering to Debbie, Kimberley, Amy or Angela.
The grillroom had seen a transformation. Overheads were up because Ackley had insisted on meals being served that he’d eat and takings had soared with some regulars now eating at the grill three or even four times a week. Ackley had warned the head chef to improve his performance or ship out, something Muffi hadn’t had the courage to do because the guy was huge.
The big guy Jesus, a Mexican, who drank beer like ordinary people drink coffee and water had told Ackley to fuck off, that Miss Amor was his boss. Jesus picked up a cleaver and grinned but lost that grin when Ackley grabbed a boning knife and went into a crouch, pulling a mesh glove over his free hand.Jesus simply dropped the cleaver, dropped his apron and said he was out of there and went to find the boss to be paid off. The kitchen staff and servers were now all female. The bartenders were all male and the bar servers all female and everyone seemed happy, Muffi thought, except her. She knew what some of the female staff were doing with Ackley and that made her very jealous.
She joined Ackley in the grill for late lunch. “This place is humming since you came aboard.”
Ackley showed his teeth and she almost was hit by an orgasm.
“Does this mean I get a rise?”
God, here was the opening she’d been attempting to figure out how to create. “I guess I could think about that. There is an alternative.”
“No muff is worth the size of the pay hike I deserve.”
Muffi was swept by a gentle wave of orgasms and convinced herself to keep relaxed and enjoyed them. So what if he glimpsed her blushing face.
Ackley glanced at her, grinned, and returned to forking his fish.
Muffi, almost sweating, thought, God he’s so cool. He knows what’s up with me and also knows the last thing I want him to know is I know he’s aware of what’s up.
Fedeko the head chef came out and asked, “How’s the yellow-fin tuna boss?”
Muffi didn’t bother to say her dish was Atlantic salmon as she could see Fedeko was smiling at Ackley, apparently now calling him boss. “Fit for a king Feddie. The tartar tasted good but the horseradish sorbet was perfect.”
Feddie? Did that mean he was even fucking Mrs Perfection?
“Your sweet answer pleases me boss,” Fedeko said, bowing her head a little and giving Buffi the feeling she had become redundant in her establishment.
As the slim Japanese super chef moved toward people at another table Ackley asked, “You were saying?”
Buffi’s mind had to reverse to think back because it was locked on the unlikely image of mother-of-two Fedeko riding Cowgirl over her general manager. “The alternative is for you to come into partnership with me and in lieu of pay rises based on performance, we freeze your salary and instead pay you an appropriate share of profits.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah, but first I should get to know you better.”
“Like how?”
“Well, we are closed Sundays.”
“You mean date?
Muffi looked as if she was searching for fly spots on the white ceiling. “If you’re sleepy we could stay the day in bed.”
“You mean…”
Muffi looked at Ackley in the eye, unwavering. “I’m inviting you to move in with me. After two or three weeks we talk about partnership if you’re still in my bed.”
“That arrangement sounds a bit one-sided.”
“Yes, a willing muff, free full board and your laundry done for you appears exceedingly one-sided. May I ask what will be your contribution?”
“Um, keeping you awake by shafting you excessively?”
“Oooh. Please move in this Sunday morning. Right?”
Ackley grinned. “Right. I’ve been thinking for some time something should be happening between us.”
“Me too. Pity I had to push otherwise I may have been treated to a romantic overture?”
“Well, with a name like Muffi Amor you could count yourself lucky you are to get your muff filled, probably very regularly.”
“Oh, you heartless unromantic opportunist. I’m off to work on the accounts.”
Ackley watched Muffi go and thought it was a great idea becoming more intimate before committing to a business partnership. He had to agree with Muffi about his lackluster response to her bed-sharing proposal.He’d failed to step up to the closer relationship by displaying the level of charm and style a woman probably would expect from her imminent lover. Well, that was something to think about.
Actually, living with Muffi could be a good idea. He’d shafted a quarter of the females on the payroll and another quarter were probably thinking about opening their legs for him. They knew his name was Winterbottom but this was New York and none were thinking of marrying him because he didn’t own the business. It was a little risky because apart from Fedeko he couldn’t be confident these promiscuous women were STD immune, if that was the word for it. The bar and grill didn’t open until 11.30 am Monday to Saturday so while the initial ‘honeymoon’ lasted it was likely Muffi and he could stay in bed until at least 9:30 and go another round or two. They only had to walk down a flight of stairs to be at work.
Later that afternoon Ackley carried a beer for the seventies- something guy who sat at the table in the darkest corner of the bar, and one for himself. The patron had settled into a routine of occupying that table from 5.30 to 9.30, with only the servers speaking to him except during peak times when other people were forced to share the table. Ackley had thought it was time he greeted the regular although the old guy only ordered a drink every half hour or so. Ackley took him to be a Mexican.
“Hi, a drink with our compliments, Ackley smiled. I’m…”
“Ackley Winterbottom, the top manager. Yes, I know and thank you for the drink. I pace myself these days because I narrowly escaped going over the edge into alcoholism and addiction to snorting bad stuff.”
“Well as a young guy I set out to become addicted to screwing top-shelf women but alas…I was left mainly enduing a drought.”
The old guy laughed and said the girls had told him the boss had humor. “Good evening to you Ackley, I’m Cisco Quillo.”
Ackley grinned and said that had a bad-ass ring to it as did Ackley Winterbottom.”
“It was created for me as my stage name. I arrived from Spain as Francisco Vquez de Ronquillo to play classical Spanish guitar on the club circuit and my agent shortened my name for me because he said American’s would find the longer version offensively flowery.”
“He did?”
“He ought to have been shot.”
“Actually he was, three years later in Detroit but he was no longer my manager then.”
The guys laughed, eyeing each other with respect and so a friendship was born. They chin-wagged for the next three hours. Thelma Rutts, grill manager came over to report to Ackley about a problem. She looked at Ackley’s companion and said, “It’s confidential, and we should…”
“Thelma, this is a pal, Cisco Quillo.You can talk to me in front of Cisco.”
“Good evening Mr Quillo.”
Thelma reported their had been a catfight in the kitchen, broken up by Bertha Biggs.
“Just their bare hands?”
“No, Dolores pulled a knife but Big Bertha bopped her before any damage was done.”
Ackley didn’t bother to enquire who started the skirmish. “Fire Dolores and replace her.”
As the men watched Thelma Rutts walk away Cisco said, “That’s a bass-ass name for that woman.”
“Yeah, but in marrying baseball player Quentin Rutts, Miss Thelma Ulicki reckoned she was upgrading her name. Do you still play guitar?”
“I do, but not in clubs anymore.Aficionados for classical Spanish guitar have melted away in huge numbers, killed by Rock and I’ve lost finger flexibility. I just play for myself and sometimes neighbors having a go-softy party get me around to play.”
Ackley stood to leave. “If you wish, bring your guitar and play on a stool in that corner over there at the entrance to the grill. Play anything you like and rest whenever you wish. I’ll put a small reserved table beside you and the girls will provide you with free beer. At 9:00 you finish and walk into the grill and have your complimentary meal with drinks. When more than a few patrons begin applauding when you finish a set, we begin paying you; it may take them time to get used to your music because the majority are the younger business set with many addicted to Hip-Hop and unmusical crap from their iPods.”
“Pay me? It’s bad enough you allowing me to play on your premises without first auditioning me. My reputation was left behind quite a few years ago.”
“Listen Cisco, you told me you played classical guitar professionally. That’s good enough for me. I enjoyed your company. We must do this again.”
Two days later Cisco was on the payroll and Muffi gave him permission to accept tips, she tossing in ten bucks into a bowl screwed on to a weighted stand she placed alongside him. The previous evening Cisco had proven himself a great hit, playing relatively unobtrusive music that before long had the room humming, the noise of conversation lowering when Cisco chose tunes folk identified with. Ackley had introduced Cisco to Muffi and after his successful debut they joined Cisco for dinner.
Two nights later in the restaurant when Cisco and Ackley were dining alone, Cisco said, “Anything going on between you and Muffi with her bad-ass name?”
Although Super Sunday was still three days away, Ackley nodded but perhaps instinctively added, “Romantically I appear to be a bit of a disappointment for her.”
Cisco sipped the red wine Ackley had poured and turning the bottle around to read the label grinned when he saw to origin of the wine was Spain. “You know, apart from some things such as cocaine, two things that really push a woman’s sex drive into top gear are flowers, particularly red ones, and something they consider to be romantically unexpected.”
Ackley looked at Cisco as if he’d just been delivered something akin to the Holy Grail.
As arranged on Sunday mid-morning, Ackley began the move into Muffi’s apartment above the bar in the commercial office building. He used the elevator in the main building to avoid having to lug his possessions up the stairway connecting Muffi’s office behind the bar to her apartment built originally as office space. After making the three trips from the cab, Ackley paid off the driver and took the fourth load to pile in front of the elevators. Being Sunday, the building management office was vacant and locked as was the cupboard where the freight trolleys were stored. When Ackley pushed the bell the apartment door opened and a fully made-up and excited Muffi raced into his arms and kissed him thoroughly. They’d not previously kissed.
Ackley looked at Muffi and Muffi looked at him, running her tongue tip over her top lip.
“You kiss real good.”
Muffi resisted the opportunity to correct his grammar and just smiled, still looking excited.
She looked at the stack of possessions. “Are these all your worldly goods?”
“Yes, I sold just about everything I had in Chicago to make a new start here.”
“Well after we shift this stuff in, what do you suggest we do?”
“Go to bed?”
Muffi’s face was opened by a huge grin. “Let’s move this stuff in fast; we can sort out where it goes later.”
When Ackley emerged from the bathroom, naked, Muffi was on top of the bed sprawled on a towel, just in her panties.
“Ohmigod, when we first met I thought you were too good to be true so you were bound to have a small cock.”
Ackley leered, “I’ve had no complaints about it.”
Muffi, probably without thinking, grabbed her left breast and squeezed. “I’ve probably had bigger ones.”
“I heard dames reckon size doesn’t matter. But if I were you I’d wait judgment until you’ve got me fully inflated.”
They both laughed a little nervously. He asked how did she prefer it, meaning what position. And when Muffi said inside her, the laugher was genuine and they began to relax.
“Nice tits,” Ackley said, walking alongside her and Muffi said just as well as they were the only pair she had on hand. He reached across her to pull off her panties so she lifted her hips.
“Don’t you want to play around a bit, you know, to warm up?”
“Muffi, several times a day – well most days to tell the truth – I’ve thought about plugging this pussy of yours, so now I’m this close I’m not out to waste time.”
“Oh God,” Muffi said, muffling her over-excited scream by crushing her mouth over her left wrist.
Throwing the panties over his shoulder, Ackley spat on to his hand and rubbed that over his now engorged dick. “Okay if I fuck you now?”
Muffi’s wide-eyes bulged and she croaked, “Yes.” She opened her legs, slapped some saliva from her fingers against her muff and watched, intensely interested as Ackley, on his knees on the bed, pulled her legs around his hips and began penetrating her without difficulty because they’d both flexed slightly, making a perfect angle for insertion.
By then Muffi’s body appeared on the verge of pulsating and her temperature was soaring.
Ackley hit bottom and paused briefly, staring at Muffi. He then drew back until his cockhead was almost at the point of tumbling out. He then began pushing in again, leaned forward and grabbing both breasts and squeezing said, “Great tits.”
Muffi’s mouth opened crookedly, her face contorted and her body convulsed.
She looked devastated.
Ackley grinned. “Can you go again?”
“Yes, I pop off quite a bit if given incentive.”
“Right, here we go babe. Catch the rhythm and join me on the journey. You move that sweet butt of yours.”
Afterwards they slept in a cuddle until Ackley stirred Muffi and handed her a booked movie seat ticket. “This is from your girl-friend Ronnie Wayward. She’ll be seated in the movie theatre – you have fifteen minutes to get there.”
“No, I can’t do this. It’s your first night with me.”
“Of course you can – Ronnie and her husband can join us for dinner at 7:15.”
Muffi asked suspiciously, “Why 7:15?”
“Ronnie said the movie finishes twenty minutes before then, time for you two to walk back here.”
“Oh, of course.”
Off went Muffi, unaware that Ronnie had helped Ackley set her up.
As the two women approached the bar Muffi grabbed Ronnie’s arm. “What’s going on – the lights are on in the bar and in the grill? We’re closed Sundays.”
“My understanding is Ackley wanted to cook dinner for you on your first night together and decided to ask a few other people around, thirteen if fact which meant it was more convenient to use your facilities for a private function.”
“How do you know this?”
“Ackley arranged for me to take you to the movies so he could set up this evening.”
“Oooh, the lovely man.”
In the doorway Ronnie suggested Muffi tidy her hair and freshen up her lipstick. “Tonight this is all about you. All your senior staff, from shift supervisors up have been invited with their partners and all accepted. Excuse me, I have to make a call.”
“We’re coming in.”
As Muffi went through the door, Cisco began to play ‘Some Enchanted Evening’, a tune outside his usual offering.
Ronnie escorted Buffi between the two lines of guests where waiting at the far end were Ronnie’s husband Oscar and the cook for the evening Ackley, dressed in chef’s whites. He kissed Buffi and from behind his back produced a dozen red roses for her. Buffi said, very loudly, “God, this is so romantic.”
Guest had the choice of two soups, fish pie and Thai-style vegetables or roast chicken pieces of fluffy rice with apricot and almond sauce, fruit compote or apple pie – all very straightforward and cooked and served beautifully. Ackley had hired two women to serve, clear away and wash up. Two hotshot hired bartenders made the pre-dinner cocktails and one remained on to serve the champagne or white or red wine Ackley had purchased. But straightforward or not, Buffi was delighted at the initiative and generosity in effort and expense Ackley had bestowed on her and people closest to her. She also saw that as a host he excelled.
When the last guests had gone, Buffi kissed Ackley warmly, pressing from knees to breasts, and felt movement in his groin, indicating he wasn’t too tired to receive an appreciative after-dinner gift.
“You were wonderful darling,” Buffi said, and began sucking his ear lobe. “Tonight you set my heart on fire. Please join me to make a baby if that’s your desire.”
Ackley knew what his desire was, as his growing erection was pressing a little above the target.
“A baby?” There was a ten second delay while he considered the proposal. “Okay, around the world each year a few babies are born with the surname of Winterbottom. Perhaps it’s not such a bad-ass name.”
“My thoughts exactly darling. The way we are going it’s very likely my name will be Winterbottom before the birth of my first baby.”
“Exactly what are you proposing?”
Buffi fluttered her eyelash extensions. “I cannot help myself but that concept is looming in my mind, but first things first. Let’s hammer out a partnership deal early this week and visit my attorney.”
“What’s the hurry?”
“I don’t want to risk losing you.”
Initially Ackley was taken aback but recovered quickly to smile at Buffi gently. “Okay, I’m not one to disappoint a lady and her ambition. You know, I’ve never been so happy in my adult live since coming into contact with you. Emotionally you are one of those persons who cruise along appearing to be laid-back and yet go that extra mile in various directions.”
“Oooh, is that a compliment?”
“Sure is. Are you a little slow this evening?”
Buffi answered by poking out her tongue and that appeared to rather interest Ackley who scratched behind his ear and looked intently at her breasts.
“Oooooh,” Buffi breathed.
Ackley shook his head as if to clear it. “Muffi, I’m going up to the apartment. Check your watch and come up in ten minutes, but please don’t ask what this is about.”
“Okay but can you give me a clue?”
Off went Ackley, shaking his head in wonderment over the impulsive inquiring minds of women.
Ackley draped across the bed the bright red and black silk chiffon and lace short nightdress Buffi’s friend Ronnie had purchased on his behalf; he’d been confident she’d know Buffi’s preferences. He set out on the dresser and other safe places a dozen candles and lit them and turned out the lights and went and stood at the open apartment door waiting for Buffi. By then Ackley was certain he wanted to be in business partnership with Buffi and married to her because he wanted the companionship with her, to expand their loving ways and, yes, if a couple of them came along, to help raise babies. He felt his desire growing and pictured himself licking the around the swells of her breasts and feeling on his brushing cheek the hardening of her nipples.
Breathing a little heavier now Ackley heard Buffi on the stairs. First her head appeared as she climbed. She’d taken her clips out and allowed her hair to fall. That was enough to make Ackley draw in his breath but the he gasped: she was swinging her bra in one hand and the top of her dress was around the waist.
“Is this what you had in mind?” she grinned, and then almost closing her mouth showed him the tip of her tongue.
Ackley made a kissing sound at Buffi and waved her on through and as she walked towards the almost closed bedroom door he braced himself, wearing the expectant grin of a hastily converted romantic, waiting for the inevitable screams of delight.


© Copyright 2018 Grigor McGregor. All rights reserved.


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