Chapter 3:

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic

Reads: 163
Comments: 9

The car ride seemed to last forever, the landscape passing me by steadily growing darker. We were just beyond the city limits when the sun set for good. It wasn’t very long before I was lulled to sleep by the sound of the tires against the cement.

A sudden boom of impact punched me out of my light slumber.

The car smelled like metal and gas, no longer like new car air freshener. Karen was not in the drivers seat: she seemed to have disappeared. I groaned, rubbing my forehead. When the car had lurched, I had banged my head against the window. When I drew my hand away, my fingers were stained red. It took me a second to realize what it was, and then another second to panic. I calmed myself down, reminding myself that head wounds always bleed more than regular wounds, but that doesn’t mean they’re worse. At least, I thought that was right.

Everything was smoky, and I decided to climb out and see what had happened… where my driver had gone. There weren’t any street lights on the highway, but the car was definitely smoking. It looked like something had smashed into the front of the car on the passenger’s side, and it didn’t seem to have been a deer. There were no remains. The dent was strangely shaped. It was kind of almond, and slightly bigger than my head. I bent down to look at it, my fingers tracing the irregular shape. What could have done that to the car? And where in the hell was Karen? She was a terrible escort if she thought it was alright to leave me alone at the site of an accident. I straightened up, whipping my hands on my jeans. The familiar sound of a throat being primly cleared caught my attention, and I turned to see Karen standing behind me.

“We’re not going anywhere until the tow truck gets here.” She said simply. Even after an accident like that, she was wrinkle free.

“What hit us?” I asked after a period of awkward silence.

“Oh, just a Fercaptus.”

“A what?”

“A Fercaptus is a minor demon. It was probably sent by a master of some kind, hoping to get a hold of you. I took care of it.” A bone chilling smile crept across her face. I didn’t want to think about that too carefully.

Luckily, I didn’t have to.

Her eyes narrowed, focusing in on something across the stretch of highway we were facing. A howl sent a shiver down my spine, and I backed a step closer to the car.

“W-what was that?” I whispered, panicked.

“Get behind me, if you value your head.” She smiled fiercely as she said the words. I noticed her teeth had all sharpened into points. It was the first time I had seen her smile, and I wasn’t sure it was an experience I wanted to repeat.

Karen Raupp was no ordinary human.

I did value my head, so I took her advice and shifted so that she was standing in front of me. Her posture was relaxed, one hand resting lightly on her hip. A blur came at us from across the way, and Karen made a deep rumbling sound, almost like a cats purr, with what I assumed was pleasure. Her nails had sharpened to long points, the red polish that had been covering them chipping off and falling in pieces into the dirt around us. Faster than my eye could follow, her dangling arm slashed upward diagonally, her nails digging into the creature’s tar black skin with the ease of sharpened knives before sending it flying into the night. She licked the blood from her fingernails, making that purring sound in pleasure. Another creature came out of nowhere, missing her by a fraction of an inch. Karen had managed to jerk her head back just in time. It was a close shave this time; her glasses went flying, smashing into the ground. The creature pivoted, it’s ugly black face turning around to leer at us.

 The creature’s tongue dangled from its mouth, with black eyes that bulged out of its skull. Its mouth was turned up in a perpetual smile, dripping with black drool. The creature was awkwardly proportioned, with long arms that would have hung down to its calves had it been standing up straight. Instead it stood hunched over, it’s massive shoulders quivering as it grinned at us. It’s thick fingers brushed the asphalt as it swayed. The whole thing was downright eerie, and it took everything I had to keep from screaming. Its bottomless eyes shifted to me, and it’s smile widened.

It darted at us again. Karen jumped up to meet it this time, slashing down at it as she soared above it in the air. It screamed, a horrible ear splitting sound that shattered the silence of the night into a thousand shards. The distance between Karen and I had widened by a few more paces.

The first creature, oozing black jelly like liquid from its face (ouch, that had to sting like hell!) had snuck around the car, and launched itself at her unprotected back. I screamed at her in warning, fear striking deep into my heart. It was a selfish fear; a fear that was based on what would happen to me if Karen happened to lose.

She wasted no time digging her stilettos into creature 2’s face, arching back so she would be able to slice at its swiftly approaching companion.

What neither she nor I had noticed was the great black shape looming over where I was crouched beside the car.  As quickly as lighting strikes the ground, this new being snatched me up in its talons. Four needles pierced through the light fabric of my t-shirt in each shoulder, leaving wild, blind fear and then nothing at all.

Submitted: May 24, 2010

© Copyright 2022 Hammers and Hearts. All rights reserved.


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Add Your Comments:


Chase the Wind

Wow, that is extremely creepy, yes it is much shorter then the other posts. But I still enjoyed it and can't wait to read chapter 4.

Mon, May 24th, 2010 6:47pm


Creepy is what I was going for!

Mon, May 24th, 2010 12:16pm


I like it. Though some stuff was freaky though, the monster... I can't wait for the next chapter.

Tue, May 25th, 2010 6:21am


I'll keep you updated! :)

Tue, May 25th, 2010 2:00pm


Cant wait for the next chapter, that was very freaky but fantastic, great description loved it :)
cant wait for the next one, please update soon x

Tue, May 25th, 2010 11:25am


Haha, will do... I have finals to look forward to, so chapter four might not be up until tommorrow... maybe even thursday if things are looking dicey. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Tue, May 25th, 2010 1:58pm


Great chapter. I love action! Keep it up!

Tue, May 25th, 2010 12:16pm


Well thank you!

Tue, May 25th, 2010 2:01pm


Haha I thought of Ryuk when you described the monster, except way more scary! Your goal with the demons was to make them gross/creepy/disgusting and it totally worked. Very wicked and lovely.

Karen's very strange cat-like behavoirs were also pretty frightening. >:)

I don't have an amazing physical picture of her yet though; it would be cool to add a sentence about her 'black' hair whipping in the breeze, or something like that. All I have is a general creepy vibe, but I can tell she is an important character as the plot continues.

My only other consideration is your last parenthetical aside...(hurt like hell). If you love it, keep it. But its not my favorite; I would probably just shorten it to ouch, or get rid of it comletely.

The action description was verrrrrrrry good. I really enjoyed the sense of motion and excitment here.

"The sudden boom of the impact punched me out of my light slumber." That is just a fantastic line.

Your story's like a garden, I dig it!

Tue, May 25th, 2010 8:52pm


Oh man,thanksmucho.
I really liked the bit about her black hair whipping in the breeze. hehe it's interesting that you picture her hair black... I really enjoyed writing the action sequences, I'm glad you liked reading them! I agree about shortening the ()

Tue, May 25th, 2010 1:56pm


I noticed that I forgot to read the second chapter so just finished that one and this chapter as well. Wow! Each of them have something going on, never a dull moment! The action is very good and upbeat. I love how you describe things too (I have a VERY hard time doing that, haha). Can't wait for the next chapters!

Wed, May 26th, 2010 9:44pm


Thanks! I am working on 4, but it's coming along rather slowly I'm afraid...

Thu, May 27th, 2010 5:52am

live love laugh

I really like it!! Great action.Keep writing more..:)

Fri, May 28th, 2010 5:51pm

Cant Hide From Love

im looking forward for the next chapter :)

Sat, June 5th, 2010 8:36pm


i love it the action is great please keep me updated

Thu, June 10th, 2010 10:43pm


Will do :)

Sat, June 26th, 2010 9:19am

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