Bitch Alert!

Reads: 3854  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 42

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Chapter 14 (v.1) - Freedom

Submitted: April 12, 2013

Reads: 170

Comments: 2

A A A | A A A

Submitted: April 12, 2013

A A A

A A A

 

Few weeks later -

Never too old, never too bad, never too late, never too sick to start from scratch once again.

These words which I had read somewhere, were running through my mind. I now fully understood what the writer meant. I was sitting in my garden, alone. There was a soft wind blowing, through my hair. So much had changed in just few weeks. All through these days Jake helped me to look beyond my limits. He taught me that it's never too late to bring positive changes. He taught me to be the girl I wanted to be.

I took a deep breath and looked around, the sunlight fell on me. I liked the warmth that washed over me. I took a deep breathe. Sometimes the most effective solution of one's problems are to breathe. We get so busy with the pretense we put up, we get so engrossed in being someone we are not, that we forget to be who we actually are. Through all this pretense and trying to 'fit in' among the crowd we forget that each and every person is different. Different is good. Different is beautiful. Different is special.

The most important virtue of life is being different. I looked around, suddenly the world seemed beautiful. More beautiful than I ever imagined it to be. I never realized that what a fickle minded person I have been.

 

Why would you want to be someone else
When you could be better by being yourself
Why pretend to be someone you are not
When you have something they haven't got

Cheating yourself of the life you have to live
Deprives others of that only which you can give
You have much more to offer by being just you
Than walking around in someone else's shoes.

I remembered these lines from a poem by Ellen Bailey. The poem was inspiring in many ways. Being yourself is the best thing you can do for yourself. I laid down on the ground. I was happy. More happy than I've ever been. Things with Jake were the same, I have been crushing on him from far. He doesn't seem to like me that way. That almost kiss was just a moment of weakness. There is no chance of us working out in the long run, we are just too different.

I've been hanging out with Brad too. He was funny, smart and caring. I like Brad. Maybe I had a better chance with him, we were similar. But he's a player and I know how the mind of a player works. I know how my mind used to work. Maybe he just wants to finish 'the unfinished business', but why would he take so much trouble just to get into my pants? I didn't know and I chose not to think about it much.

Nora and I have become great friends. We started hanging out together. At first it was awkward, she was shy and I was still unsure that I knew how to be pleasant to people. Jake kept counselling me. After a few days we both got comfortable around each other. Now we talk to each other for hours. She is a really nice girl. She's a great listener. I would ramble on and on about my situation with Jake and Brad and she would listen quietly, she would ask questions at the right time. She even gives me advises. She was the one who came up with the idea of 'not thinking about it.' she said

"Let it be Peyton. Let things take their own way. You'll get your answers when the time is right." 

She patted my back and smiled. I never had a girlfriend before. It felt awesome. Even Josh was decent to me. We talk to each other once in a while.

I could hear the noise of the traffic down the road. People were all rushing to go to different places. What was the need to rush? We just need to slow down, smell the flowers. The sky looked beautiful, it was blue and the puffy white clouds looked amazing. I started finding patterns in the cloud. I never did that as a child. I thought it was stupid. Well, I was going to make up for the things I had missed. Sometimes being stupid was what you need. Sometimes stupidity is what gives you your sanity back.

Jake took me to a karaoke bar one day. He forced me to sing there. I am a really bad singer. By bad I mean really really bad. But he forced me so much that I gave in. I have just one word for my performance there.

Terrifying.

I actually saw people leave whatever they were doing and walk away. I wasn't even halfway through my song. It was embarrassing. But I enjoyed it, at first I was a bit conscious about myself butsoon I was enjoying it so much! People probably wanted to kill me right there, but I just enjoyed singing like that in public. I could feel myself to be stronger then.

I was not going to let Jake get away with it. I am a revengeful person. I made him sing too. Only the problem was he was kind of good at singing. He wasn't breathtakingly melodious but he wasn't that bad. I couldn't accept the fact that people weren't running away when he sang. So I went to him and pushed him away and took over the song. People looked scared. Wow. I just sang two lines when Jake pushed me away again.

It was on.

We spent rest of the song pushing each other away and singing. People there were laughing at us. Both of us couldn't sing more than two or three lines as  we kept pushing each other. Finally the manager had to kick us out. We were laughing and blaming each other for it.

"You are the bad singer. It was you fault." Jake said.

"I am not that bad." I said, defending myself.

"Peyton, I don't mean to be rude. But even crows will get depressed if they hear you singing."  Jake snickered.

I rolled my eyes.

"Idiot." I mumbled and I pushed him again. This time he landed on the floor.

I had to fled, I knew he was trying to catch me. I ran faster, we started chasing each other like kids. We were laughing and screaming all the time.

"Huh. I'm tired." I finally said, bending down and holding my knees for support.

We sat on the road itself and started laughing at each other as we recalled the events of that evening.

I knew right then that this is how I want to spend rest of my life. I want to be child like, crazy, I wanted to have innocent fun all the time. I wanted to live my live to the fullest. I didn't want to wake up after a year or sixty, full of regret. I didn't want to be on my deathbed with a question: What have I done with my life? I knew that I'd be happy like this. People waste their whole life trying to be what they aren't.

Little do they know, that they are missing out the most important thing. They are missing out-

Life.

Every time you suppress some part of yourself or allow others to play you small, you are in essence ignoring the owner's manual your creator gave you and destroying your design.

Oprah Winfrey.

 


© Copyright 2017 Hope Mary Grace . All rights reserved.

Chapters

Add Your Comments:

Comments

avatar

Author
Reply