128 Likes. The page disgusted her.
“You don’t even know her. Why are you promoting her egomania?”
She imagined Molly’s head growing larger and larger with each incoming ping. Maybe she was watching them surge in one by one. Or perhaps she preferred to view the damage once it had amassed a notable load. Either way the thought infuriated her.
She slammed her laptop shut. If only it were that simple, like an ostrich with its head in the sand. If one had the ability to shut a webpage and see it vanish forever. Now that is an invention she could patent. Yeahh. Instead of facebook it could be called facekiller… or “the facekiller”.
She knew she had to get out of this thought process before it spiraled any lower. Luckily she was going to her yoga class with Lyra in about twenty minutes. It was good that she was getting away from her computer and Molly and her page. And of course that whole mind body thing and all. She was a bit of a skeptic but she knew that she always felt better afterwards.
Then she tensed her body, scrunching her eyes, mouth, and nose all together. Her hands tightened into fists. She let everything go sending her tongue out of her mouth releasing a roar- like yelp.
Of course at that moment Ryder peaked his head in her room wearing a very skeptical look.
“Mom wants to know if you are eating dinner with us.”
“No I‘m going to yoga with Lyra and then we will probably go out to dinner.”
“Oh I forgot about your Yo- gah.” Ryder said drawling out the word as though it were a foreign hoity- toity term.
“Save it for the lulu lemon worshippers at Java Bean.”
“Um okay. I don’t even know what that means but sure. I’m just glad we get to eat meat. And bacon. Actually I’m going to ask mom to just wrap everything in bacon.”
“First bacon is meat,” she retorted, “And second you are not on ‘Epic Meal Time’.”
“Yeah but it would be so cool if I was,” Ryder said staring past her head, “those guys are legend… wait for it… dairy.”
Ryder had just gotten really into the show “How I Met Your Mother” and his constant HIMYM quoting had begun to seriously get on her nerves.
“Great. Okay you can leave now before I just decide to say the mother’s name out loud. Sometimes I just can’t contain myself” she irritably replied knowing that Ryder, being only 4 seasons in, had a ways to go in the series before he reached this pivotal point.
“Oh no that would ruin my life. Ah.” Ryder said dramatically as he placed his hand on his forehead. At the chance that she would however be true to her word he turned and walked back downstairs to the kitchen.
“Wow I am so very Zen” she thought laughing to herself.
She often wondered what it would be like to live a truly Zen life like a master yogi or something. She questioned what these holier than thou folks were like as youngsters. She guessed that even if they had been horrible and retched children they would use it to fuel their so called rebirth. Everything only makes you stronger. But really you can tell yourself anything to remedy a situation can’t you?
‘Birds of a feather flock together’ but ‘opposites attract. Sometimes everything seems at odds with each other.
“Okay enough” she thought. “You can’t spend all night in this foul state all because of Molly’s insignificant post.” Then a phrase her dad liked to use came to her head, “You are just letting her win”. She really did not want to spend the time thinking about why Molly’s post bothered her so much or what anyone was ‘winning’ in the first place.
Luckily, a distraction pinged to her phone. Lionel sent her a Snapchat. She tapped it open revealing the image of his cat with drawn red lines coming from its eyes and the caption “laser cat strikes again”. Then after 10 seconds it was gone.
Lionel’s snapchats always made her smile.
She clicked the camera button and pinched her face together until she truly believed from the image on her screen that she had created the least attractive version of her face. Then, tapping the screen, she wrote, “yoga time”. She sent it to Lionel, Lydia, Marie and Molly.
If this were a sitcom, Ryder would reappear while she was in the process of making the snapchat and just laugh at her. “How must my generation look,” she thought, “walking around snapping really odd pictures of ourselves all day.”
This whole situation reminded her of an assignment she had in middle school. Her class was told to read a paper about the ‘Asu’ people and their ‘racs’. According to the paper, the Asu people worshipped the animal called the rac and even build special paths for them to roam on. The rac in return actually polluted their land and led to many deaths of the Asu people. At this point all of the kids in her class, herself included, thought something along he lines of “those silly Asu people”. After such preconceived notions were fostered, the teacher informed the class that the article was actually talking about their culture and that the terms ‘Asu’ and ‘rac’ were stand ins for ‘Usa’ and ‘car’.
Then in high school she was asked to read the paper again and create her own version of the Asu story. So she wrote about a different sort of people called the Nacerima people.
The Nacerima people are very passionate about their music, and feel the need to bring it around with them wherever they go. Though there are many devices which allow the Nacerima people to do just this, if a member of the tribe is carrying a device other then a Dopi they are thought of as inferior. The magic man, Evets Sboj, whose religious practices revolve around fruit worship, releases a new version of the Dopi every year. The new edition Dopi is always better than the last one, and thus it renders previous generations obsolete. Because of this, to stay current, the Nacerima people feel they must keep buying new Dopi devices and throwing their old ones in the garbage. Sboj has even convinced loyal worshippers that they require different Dopi devices to do different things. Dopi can aid in sports, amusement, and now that Sboj premiered his newest magical musical device: the Dapi. Nacerima people everywhere can buy a device that does the work of a palpot (a device which enables the Nacerima people to waste their time) and a Dopi, creating one ultra Dopi.
She remembered her twelve- year- old self initially picturing a somewhat savage village of people. It was only in this anthropology class some years later that she realized while it is hard to remain unbiased, it is important to know all the facts and place yourself within someone else’s shoes before passing judgment.
She often enjoyed placing others in her shoes.
Once a week she volunteered at the local senior center though a program at her school called ‘Adopt- a Grandparent’. She would go on Bingo Thursdays. She found that she actually enjoyed playing Bingo while the woman she played with greatly disliked it and would rather just talk or knit. Anyway, she found it hilarious to imagine one of these Grandmas or Grandpas taking selfies all day and captioning them to send to friends and family members.
Then again, the ‘funny’ images and YouTube videos, dating back to he start of the Internet, that her Great Uncle Joe sent her lost their charm after a while.
“Seriously who still sends chain letters proclaiming the threat of death if not continued or even messages from far off princes in need of aid?” She once griped to her father. She received the email about the African prince a couple months back and hurriedly replied to her uncle with a snopes link before any damage could be done and fortunes lost.
Unlike her father or her Great Uncle Joe, she never knew a time without the Internet. She was in fact the same exact age to the day as the Internet. She learned this news from a wired magazine article her father flung into her room the week before her birthday.
“Happy 20th to you and the Internet… Happy 20th to you two!” sang her father motioning to her and the computer on her desk.
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